Women of Ryazan in 1914 in the village of Ryazan it is springtime… Anna, an orphan,
taken care of by her aunt Aliona. Aunt Aliona Wassily Shironine,
a rich farmer from a near village
and his son Ivan. Hello Wassily,
don’t you recognise me?
Aliona here… – Oh yes…
I remember you now.
I haven’t come here for such a long time
and you know one forgets faces… This is my niece Anna.
Her parents are dead…
Then I took her with me…
But I would like to see her marriage… In the neighboring village
where Shironine lives. The blacksmith Nicolas, loves… …Wassilissa, the daughter of Shironine,
and they are lovers. Your father will never give you to me.
I am too poor. If he wants it or not,
I will be your wife, Nicolas. After the death of Shironine’s wife,
the intriguer widow Lukeria had become
servant-mistress of the farmer. The old woman Matveievna,
the godmother of Ivan,
loves her godson,
like a real son. If I see you still talking to the blacksmith,
I will send you away from this house. What are you dreaming of, you tramp. -… and you too will marry to the one I want I will mary to the one I want,
or I will leave now! After Saint-Pierre day, Shironine brought his
son to the house of prospective bride so she
will be presented to him in front of the family I do not want to marry a man
whom I do not know and I do not love… Look at her…
and if she is suitable for you
then she is yours. C’mon look at her, imbecile! Do you want to be my wife? – Yes…
I want. – Concluded! – Now, the marriage is assured. Shironine wanted the marriage of his son
to be a magnificient celebration. – We accepted a poor one…
She haven’t brought anything like dowry – She brought something…
Look… Customs require that each time
a guest shouts “Aigre”
the new husband should embrace the bride. -Stop caressing your beautiful daughter and
bring your thirsty guests something to drink. I will beat you till
you’ll be good for nothing I curse you…
I kick you out… It’s enough, will you live with me? And will you consider me
as your legal wife Anna lived happily… – Don’t show off with your washing,
others can do it better… – Sure, did your wife had such a
wealthiness when she opened her dowry. Marriage of Nicolas and Wassilissa made
the villagers indignant and by contempt,
they smeared Nicolas’ door with tar. – Did you see?
they still put tar on our door. – Does that annoy you?… – Me,
it makes me laugh. August 1914. – The war is declared
and Ivan have to go. And the following day… Two years passed… For a long time,
no news from Ivan. Shironine will go to the market
in the city to sell his corn. – What do you want me
to bring you from the city? – Look, you will not want to believe it. – Anna, my little one,
I will give you all that you want. In the absence of Nicolas,
Wassilissa was working hard. Gossips were spreading around. I think that the Master arrives. – Yes, its him, go now… – Take the horse to the stable. – You’re almost completely drunk, aren’t you? Two more years have passed without any news from Ivan
and as Lukeria believes him to be forever missing,
she forces Anna to do the dirty works. – You are my misfortune The war ended and Nicolas returned home. The mayor of the village asks to see
Wassilissa about the orphanage. – We are authorized to use the vacant
castle as our orphanage building. – We have just received a letter from Ivan. -Ivan wrote that he was a prisoner.
He will return soon. – What will we tell him about you,
you ignoble girl. – You won’t be able to hide from him that
you betrayed him, you dishonoured pig mould… In the other side of the village, Wassilissa
making the castle ready for the orphans
as soon as possible. – Get out of here, you ignoble wife… – My brother’s wife runing away… – What will I become? – Don’t cry…
I will take care of you. – When the orphanage bulding is
finished, we will take your baby.
Till then, I advise you to go
back to the farm. The day of Assumption. – Where is my wife? – She dishonoured us… – Interrogate your father.
Part Two Why are you closed?
Open up! Wait. Why are you in a sledge, my dear? We left Arkhangelsk
in a blizzard. – And we have far to go.
– What have you got there? The Tsar’s presents
from overseas. Throw the cover away. It’s some case,
looking like a coffin. Open it. Oh, holy Christ! In Moscow even bandits
get swollen from hunger, and they bring some vermin. That’s no better – some cut stone,
as if we don’t have enough of it here. Tsar Peter has vanished overseas. People say Lefort
found a German looking like him, tall as a verst, too, and he passes him off as Peter. They say he’ll rule himself instead
of Peter, and stir trouble in Moscow. They’re going to ban our old faith. They got our Tsarevna Sophia
locked up in a convent, and themselves, look what
they’re doing! Tsarevna Sophia used to feed us,
no less that eight times in a year. And the Tsarevna’s sisters
gave us food, too. After the fast ended, they gave
beef tongues to common people. Meatjelly!
Chicken and porridge! Those were the tsars! And now they buy kikimoras overseas for our money. Eat them, my dear people! Help yourselves! What are you doing here,
Orthodox people? Looking at the Tsar’s presents. Why are you delaying him?
Let him go. Open up! They also say that the top Boyars, those who often go to Kukui
and are chummy with foreigners, wanted to strangle Tsarevich Alexei. But those close to him put
another man in his place. The Boyars got angry and began to
slap the young Tsaritsa on her cheeks. As for the Tsar, nobody knows
if he’s alive or dead. But he’s sending those presents. Who knows who’s sending them. It’s not for nothing
there’s word among people that if we streltsy
don’t stand up for Moscow, there would be no Moscow at all. Oh God, my dears… All right, go on. Let’s give him a hand, men! Verka! Watch out, Verka,
it’s my life in here. If you lose it, better not come back. Don’t you worry, Mother Tsaritsa,
I’ll deliver it safely. Go, then. Save me, O Lord. God Lord Jesus Christ,
the Heavenly Mother of God! Forgive my sinful soul. It’s not for myself, but for the holy, rightful cause
that I’m intervening. Stretch forth Your All-Mighty Hand, protect our troops that have risen up for Russia
and our faith. O Lord! Everybody here? Listen, streltsy! The Tsarevna Sophia Alexeyevna
is writing to us. Streltsy! It’s become known to me that only few
of your regiments had come to Moscow. So all your four regiments
are to come to Moscow, camp by
the Devichy Monastery and beg me
to go to Moscow to rule instead of the present one. And if the troops
that stand by the monastery don’t let you go to Moscow, you are to get the better of them,
beat them, and be in Moscow. Sophia. Do we do it? We’ve already decided, haven’t we? Whoa, my dear! What’s this? Where’re you going? To the Monarch Prince.
It’s a matter of state. Prince. I’ve been riding all night from
Sychovka that’s near New Jerusalem. – It’s horrible news.
– From Sychovka? Are you drunk? Don’t you know
your rank? Four regiments of streltsy
are coming to Moscow. They must be already at the Istra.
They move slowly, with carts. Tell the archimandrite
to hurry up. – I will.
– Where’s Shein? Alexei Semyonovich. – You heard what’s going on?
– What is it? Four regiments of streltsy are coming
to Moscow, already at the Istra. Take Gordon’s regiment,
the Preobrazhensky, the Semyonovsky… Take everybody you can get, and hurry. Stop them at the Istra,
don’t let them come to Moscow. Sure thing. After the service, I want
to see everybody. O Lord, everything’s in thy hands,
do not let it happen. Wake up the men. Begin the crossing, guys! Streltsy! Streltsy! The great Tsar
Pyotr Alexeyevich is on his way to Moscow now. Who is riding over there?
Can it be our father Tsar? That’s him. Yes, him. Risen from the dead to our misfortune. Now he’ll go raging in Moscow. Right, he’ll sure do. The streltsy blood will be flowing. What shall we do, sire? We’ll do what we ought to. Farewell, good people! Make way, Tsar,
I’ll lie down here. That’s it, Nikita. You shouldn’t have rebelled. What, Boyars? Why are you so shy? Well, Orthodox people,
you have been missing me? Where’s your beard? You dare grinning?
Get out of here now! Quiet, you there! What a bitch!
The Kukui Tsaritsa Anna Mons! And our own lawful
Tsaritsa Yevdokiya Fyodorovna was taken in a simple sledge
to a convent in Suzdal for good, to shed tears there. You should wipe your feet. They drink for a kopeck,
but leave dirt for a ruble. Why are you staring? Brothers. Treat me to a drink, will you. I feel parched. Gave away
my cross for a drink yesterday. – Who are you?
– Ondryushka Golikov. We’re from Palekh, been
icon painters from the olden times. Here, take it. May Christ save you. They executed the streltsy.
All right. That’s the Tsar’s business,
not ours, but… That’s just it – but.
That’s it! Now an ukase: take all streltsy off
the wall and out of town by Easter. – There’re about 8,000 of them.
– Eight hundred. Eight thousand. Right, but where do we get the carts?
The moujik is to take the rap again? Fools are born to do the donkeywork. What do you know, man… Don’t spill it. To your health! The moujik is a fool, but the moujik understands… No, my dears. They squeeze the moujik dry. He pays quit-rent, he pays for serfdom,
he gives to the Boyar for food, he pays for his piece of land,
he pays road tax, he goes to the market – he pays… All right. Now we have to give
horses for the Tsar’s convoy. And they want us to give them bread,
too. Count how many homesteads
are left in the village. Where are all the rest? Everybody’s willing to run where
they have full board and lodging. The moujik is a fool
until his belly is full. But if you pull his last
from under his ass… The moujik changes his bast shoes
and goes wherever he wants. Go and look for him! Should go north, to the hermitage
of holy starets Nektary. We’ll decide where we go. Should go there, dear, only there.
It’s peace and quiet there! Those who go there,
will stay alive. All right, then.
And the tobacco? In what books was it written
that a man must swallow smoke? You know who spits smoke
from his mouth. What? For forty eight thousand rubles, all the towns, the whole Siberia was farmed out to the Englishman
Carmartenov, to sell tobacco. And that ukase to smoke
this hellish nicotiana grass. Whose work is that? And what about tea and coffee? May it be damned,
that lust of the Antichrist! Hi, Ovdokim. Hello, lvan. Long time no see, ataman. Are you begging? Out of sickness. I’ve had my fun in the woods,
now I’m too old for that. I’ve had it – time to die. Don’t be in a hurry to. Greetings to you from the Don. You mean they still remember me? It’s not the right time to forget.
Here. And I was going to rest. Not yet. Not yet. Oh, Versailles! You had to see that
paradise on earth, Anna, those huge windows
lit by millions of candles! Those spouting fountains. The most Christian king
Louis in a chair. Leaning against his chair
is a lady in a black domino, with its hood over her eyes. Everything seems to be colored
with the gold of glory. Oh, Kenigsek, I can’t
believe it’s not a dream. The lady in a domino,
is she the queen? She’s Madame de Maintenon,
the king’s favorite, a woman who makes
ministers and the court tremble. Why doesn’t the king
marry Madame de Maintenon? Fraulein Anna,
can a queen compare in power
with a favorite? Oh, Kenigsek, most important is to
know that happiness can be lasting. You need a true friend,
my lovely child. You have nobody to confide in. You can confide in me. I’ll be delighted to give
myself to you. In what capacity are you offering
yourself? I don’t understand you. I’m not sure that
I should even listen to you. Look, that Mons woman.
It’s her carriage. – Must be with her Kenigsek.
– You don’t say! – What a shameless woman!
– You didn’t know? All Moscow have been
whispering about that Kenigsek. Boyar’s wife Volkova! Mishka, take all this away. Boyar’s wife Volkova is here. Boyar’s wife Volkova… Five years ago, that Boyar’s wife
Volkova was called Sanka, who wiped her snot with a torn skirt. Ah, Alexandra lvanovna! Come on in. Sit down, be our guest. Bonjour, pryncess. S’il vous plait,
have a cup of coffee. Thank you. Misha, pour a cup of coffee,
and bring it on a tray. – You’re really going to drink it?
– Thank you. Good heavens… Just look at her coif! Must be on whalebone. And they put rags
and sticks in ours. Beautiful! I can’t take my eyes off. It’s a real pain in the neck about
the coiffeur -just one in all Moscow. On Shrovetide, dames
had to wait for a week, and those who got a hairdo in
good time, slept on a chair. I asked father to bring
a coiffeur from Amsterdam. My best regards to
the honorable lvan Artemyevich. Thank you. How is his linen factory going? I’ve meant to take a look at it,
it’s a new, interesting business. Father is finishing his new house. He invites everybody for
the housewarming, that’s why I came. Thank you. Vasya’s in Voronezh now,
with the Tsar. We know, we know,
Alexandra lvanovna. I got a letter from Vasya the other day. They may send
my Vasya to Paris. What does he write?
Anything about the Tsar? Sorry, I learned
to read not long ago. Good day, Sashenka, my darling, may
you be well for many years to come. Our business in Voronezh
is going on. Soon we’ll launch
the ships in the Don, and our living here will
come to an end. I don’t want to frighten you, but… I heard from other people that the Tsar wants
to send me with the ambassadors to… the Hague, and then on to Paris. I don’t know what to think of it – it’s pretty far and a bit scary. Herr Peter sends you his greetings,
he remembered you at supper lately. He works day and night, in the yard, like a common laborer. He himself forges nails and… clamps, and himself… …caulks them. Don’t even have time to shave beards, for he hastens everybody,
and drives men dead tired. But we’ve built our fleet. Then go amorous things. Written by Vasya. Yeah… sure, the fleet… He forges himself, caulks himself. Doesn’t know what to do
with his strength. When the Tsar is back for the holiday,
I’ll throw myself at his feet. I want to go to Paris. What horror!
You scare me. To Paris?
It must be bad there. Oh no! I’m so bored in Moscow! I would just go running abroad. Tsarevna Natalya Alexeyevna has
a Frenchman living at her place. He teaches manners.
He teaches me, too. The stories he tells! Every night I dream that I’m dancing the minuvet
in a crimson bodice, I dance better than anyone else, my head is going round and round,
the gentlemen make way, and suddenly the king Louis
approaches and gives me a rose. It’s so boring in Moscow now. Thank God they took the streltsy off
the walls, I’m scared of the dead. Lieutenant Brovkin is here. Franz loannovich Lefort is dying. Oh, God… Oh, my goodness… Everything’s in God’s hands. Such a misfortune. Great misfortune! There’ll be no other friend like him. Couldn’t die for seven days. As though he waited for the Tsar,
may he rest in peace. Coming. I can see. You’re rejoicing. My condolences. Franz is gone. I can’t understand it. He was a bad admiral,
but he was worth a whole fleet. I’ll never have a friend like him. All I have left is
Aleksashka and you. Oh, Peter… Peter, you haven’t eaten all day. I’ll go fry your favorite sausage. Boyar Volkov and his wife! Boyar Volkov and his wife! Couldn’t you order them to ride slowly?
That road got all my insides shaken. Oh God, what a woman you are!
A downright nuisance! No peace, no quiet.
You neither sleep nor eat. Can’t even speak like a human being. Why do you want to go
to the end of the earth? What for? To dance the minuvet with kings?
Are you sure they’d like to? Only because it’s my parents’ house
that I’m listening to you now. Oh, Alexandra, I’m being very patient. You may yell. What do I care? Instead of grumbling,
you’d better practice swords. What for? You’ll know what for
when you come to Paris. Boyar Streshnev and his wife! Boyar Streshnev and his wife! A good house. No worse that mine. – Better than ours.
– Ours cannot even compare. Hush, women, know your place.
Don’t rush ahead of men. Go do something. Oh, my goodness… Of course, the Tsar knows better,
trying to keep up with Europe. But it’s no good
dragging girls from house to house. That’s how it is, Roman Borisovich. Come in, pryncess. Who is this? I guess, Bacchus. And what’s she doing? It’s Danae lying down,
with a cupid at her feet. This man with a cow’s legs,
he’s got horns too, is a satyr. What’s that he got? You shouldn’t scowl, Olga.
It’s a fig leaf, they always draw it. And this is Cupid, he wants to pierce her with an arrow. She’s crying, she doesn’t want to live. Her sweetheart had
an amour with her, and sailed away. See the sail? It’s called ” Ariadne the Deserted” . You should memorize all that. The dancing partners keep
asking about Greek gods. We would memorize it,
but we haven’t got the book, and father won’t give as much
as a kopeck for it. Presenter mine
younger brother Artamosha. Princess Antonida. Princess Olga. Princess Natalya. How often do you do plaisir? The other day
we danced at the Naryshkins’ It was such a succes, so hot. We changed dresses three times. Why do we never see you? I’m too young. Father is afraid he’ll get naughty.
But he’s so deft at dancing. And the way he speaks French,
you’ll be spellbound! Let’s go to the music. Ah, the children… Where did you have your son broken in? We have teachers coming. We’re in the public eye. Didn’t get it
by birth, have to get it other ways. Yeah, it’s time to crawl
out of our crevices. And the Tsar is not pleased: you just rake in the money,
he says, so go out of your way. Raking in, what do you know! Sanka alone costs me a lot.
But there she is, for all to see. A smart woman, that’s right. The Tsar! Artemyich did flash his purse. – Thank you for the honor, sire!
– Hello, lvan. I came to take a look.
They say you built a fine house. We’re doing our best, sire. I can see it’s good.
A real paradise, isn’t it, Danilych? Very good, mein Herz.
A paradise, a real paradise. Highly commendable,
lvan Artemyevich. – Good evening, Your Majesty.
– Alexandra lvanovna. My father
got another son. The youngest, named Artamon. – Ivan!
– What? – Show your son.
– Just a minute, sire. Artamon! Artamon! See how people should live? And what about you? You fenced in half of Moscow
for your courtyard, but never even thought of planting
a nice and useful kitchen garden. – I will, father Tsar.
– I know you! The buildings are falling down! But you, the devils, won’t
move your ass to prop them up! You’re too lazy to answer the call
of nature in a decent place. I will prop it, father Tsar. Avdotya Nikitichna,
I’m sorry, I didn’t say hello to you. Pyotr Alexeyevich,
come on, scold us, the fools. I’ll tell you,
in the village of Vovchuga, two common men,
Osip and Fyodor Bazhenin, built a water sawing mill,
to cut wood into boards. They built it themselves,
without any overseas craftsmen. What’s most precious
is the initiative. Demidych! Here, I’ve brought you this man. Nikita Demidych Antufyev,
a common blacksmith from Tula, he makes pistols and guns that
are no inferior to the English ones. He casts iron,
prospects for ores in the Urals. Talk to him,
dear merchants. Think about it.
And I’m his friend. Here he is, sire, my youngest. Why are you hiding
this fine fellow from me? I’m struggling desperately,
and there they are! – Can you read and write?
– He can. Good gracious.
What else? I know French and German, too,
reading and writing fluently. – That’s something!
– And in Dutch, too. Ivan!
Thank you for the present, brother. But say goodbye to your son now. You won’t regret it. Soon I’ll be
making them counts for their brains! Are you hiding anyone
else from me here? No, it’s my last, the fourth son,
that I’m giving to you. Don’t be sad. All your sons
are doing useful things. See, your Alyoshka
has been sent to the North. They closed themselves in
under lock and barrel. I guess they’re going
to burn themselves. Come on! Those are just fairy tales. Why fairy tales?
Father Nektary is here. My children. It has come to pass. The end is coming. And we’ll ascend, my children,
in a fiery flame above the church. Lieutenant, we can break in
all together, can’t we? No, we shouldn’t break in.
We should do it peacefully. Right, they may have straw
and a barrel of gunpowder in there. You must be careful. There’s another gate here.
It must be nailed shut, too. – Shall we take a look?
– Come on. God will forgive. Give me your blessing, Father. God will forgive. God will forgive. God will forgive. Brothers and sisters, do you hear?
They’re breaking the gates. The diabolical army
of the antichrist Tsar! His servants came here
for your souls. God will forgive. God will forgive. We’ll burn down,
but we will live forever! People, people, what are you doing… – I have to go.
– So soon? They may need me
any minute. So, my beautiful child,
all my hope is in you. In your influence on the Tsar. Good evening, Annushka. I’ve brought guests. Herr Johann Patkul.
General Karlovitch. Come in, gentlemen,
you may feel here as at my home. We’ll continue our
conversation at supper. Oh, Peter, I’m so glad
you’ve come. I’ll go and make arrangements. I hope I don’t have
to introduce Monsieur Ambassador. You seem to have frequented my
woman lately, Monsieur Ambassador. The mortals sacrificing doves
and flowers to the Goddess Venus are not to be punished. We know that goddess. Danilych, show the house to our guests. We shall, mein Herz. Please. Annushka. Come sit by me. Do you love me, Annushka? Oh, Peter… Peter, we won’t have to go
to so much expenses if you warn me beforehand
about the arrival of guests. Let’s go, our guests are waiting. Oh, Peter, you don’t wear
your wig again. Come on, Danilych,
pour water on my hands. Whatever wig I may wear, I can’t compete with King August. He’s too fabulous and magnificent! And we spend time at a smithy
and at a stable. Entertain our guests, Annushka. How long have you been in Moscow? I arrived in Moscow
a week ago, from Riga. General Karlovitch
a little earlier, from Warsaw. General Karlovitch
has the honor to represent the interests of my king, August. It’s gratifying to know that
the noble lady enjoys the confidence
of the young monarch. Of course, after Europe
it feels lonely in Moscow. But, God willing,
we’ll soon make peace with Turkey, make everybody wear
German and Hungarian clothes, and clear Moscow of bandits. Please, gentlemen,
come to the table. Could this sauce be made
of Kenigsek’s pigeons that he brings
to your Venus altar? You’re joking as usual,
Your Majesty. Gentlemen,
to the health and prosperity of His Majesty,
the Tsar of all Russia! Sire, with your permission,
let’s get back to our conversation… To my dear friend,
the Polish King August! Your pigeons seem to… smell of pigs,
Monsieur Ambassador. Sire, you have a chance now,
as never before, to get your hold
on the Baltic Sea and take Ingria and Karelia
from the Swedes, those primordial Russian lands. Consolidating your hold on the Baltic,
go out to the Mediterranean and, establishing yourself in the sea,
attain world glory, start trading with Holland,
England, Spain and Portugal, and do what no European
monarch has been able to – create a new trade route between East and West,
going through Moscovia. You’d be able to establish ties with
the monarchs of all Christian states, have your word in European politics and become the third maritime power. Now or never. Now or never. Why now? Are we on fire or what? To war with the Swedes
is a big undertaking. Their army is the best in Europe. Couldn’t you give me
a better advice? It’s easy to beat the Swedes today. Last year General
Karlovitch was in Stockholm, and he saw what kind
of a king they got. Yes, I visited them. Charles Xll is a fool. He is not a king. He’s like a woman, all in bows, thinking only of hunting and dancing. Squandered the public
purse on masquerades. In a word, he’s a lion without teeth. Such a king can be beaten by our
Preobrazhensky Regiment alone. And this, Annushka,
is none of your business. You better go and order
to give us more wine. It’s too early for us to get
embroiled in the European mess. The Turks give us no peace. The Black Sea will give you
nothing for promoting trade. All right, we’ll talk about it later. Danilych. Fill up the glasses. To the health of our dear guests! This Moselle wine is pretty strong. In the company of such
a charming young lady, one can get drunk without wine,
and drink without getting drunk. I see Bacchus is sure getting
to you, Monsieur Ambassador. Danilych, fill up that goblet. To the goddess Venus
you have so much liking for. I’ll be absolutely drunk, sire. According to the Russian tradition,
you can’t refuse the tsar. Right, Danilych.
Good for you. To the health… …of the Kukui nymph. Your health, Annushka. General? No. You must, General. Everybody drinks bottoms up. Your health, Anna loanovna. It’s nothing!
To the beautiful ladies! You’re all Dutch courage.
Shall I pour more? He’s sick. I’ve been attracted to everything
beautiful and elegant since childhood. The most gallant man in all Moscow. Peter, don’t do it. We should give him something. Kenigsek. I’m here, Your Majesty. What were you bragging about
to Hamilton? I didn’t brag,
Your Majesty. You’re lying, you did. You said you treasure this thing
more than the salvation of your soul. What is that thing? I don’t remember
saying that. Perhaps I was speaking
of my snuffbox, sire. It’s of French workmanship. Show it. It’s in my carriage. I’ll go bring it. I love good workmanship. Danilych. Go with the ambassador,
so that he doesn’t run away. Oh, no, I’ll go alone. He’s absolutely soused. Where’s Kenigsek? He ran for his box.
He’ll be right back. Go look what’s going on. Oh, it’s so late! Excuse us, sire,
it’s time to go home. Thank you for your hospitality,
Your Majesty. What is it? Too bad, sire, Kenigsek missed a step
on the stairs. He’s unconscious. Never mind, he’ll come to.
I myself will take him home. Why are you standing?
You got any medicine? Bring everything you got.
I’ll see to it. We hope to see you again,
Your Majesty. We hope so very much. Maybe. She’s a trash, mein Herz. I’ve meant
to tell you for a long time. A bitch. A slut. Shut up!
Don’t you dare! Get out! Everything will be alright, mein Herz.
Have some Hungarian wine. You fool!
Your place is in the hencoop! It’s over. Hold it!
Come on! Come on! There you go! Place it closer, closer. Come on, strike! There we go. The fluke. The fluke!
Damn it… Yes!
Damn! Hold it! Closer! Never mind, Pyotr Alexeyevich,
it happens. But next time don’t
brandish the tongs so. Or you can hurt someone and get the welding
into the anvil. I was flogged for this. Mein Herz,
the grand ambassadors are here. Danilych, help the grand ambassador up. I’ll get up myself. What have I done to merit
your ire, father Tsar? Don’t be angry, Prokofy.
I’m tired. I’ve read your letters.
You wrote to me not to be angry. I’m not angry. You were doing your
work honestly, though the old way. Englishmen, Romans… All right, it was the last time
that you went bowing down. We’re standing here and think
that Europe’s looking at us. No. To them, we’re
an insignificant politician, even not a politician at all. This is our politician. We’ll fit you up with a ship,
named ” The Fortress” . And you’ll go straight to
Constantinople by the Black Sea. What are you saying, father Tsar?
The Turks will never let us. Who’s going to ask them? Let them try to catch up with you. So you’re our hope. If you obtain the permanent
peace with the great Sultan, you’ll earn the praise
of the entire Russian state. The more so, my praise. At your service, sire. God be with you! The Tsar is tired.
Later, later. We’re very flattered
by your visit, Admiral. It’s a great honor for me to see the Russian navy in our Kerch. There’s word that the Tsar himself
has arrived with the fleet. It’s by far not
the entire Russian fleet. And the Tsar has
more important business to attend. How do you like the harbor? At first sight, it’s quite suitable,
well closed from the winds. We don’t keep a big
fleet here, in Kerch. We have no one to fear. But in the Sea of Marmara,
the Sultan has really powerful ships. The cannons aboard them can hurl
stone balls weighing three poods. Our ships don’t
use stone balls. We fire cast-iron balls
weighing 30 pounds. They can hole an enemy
ship from side to side. A very… …beautiful frigate. It must be moving fast. Yes, all these ships accompanied
the grand ambassador to Kerch. As you know, he’s heading for
Istanbul aboard the ” Fortress” , to meet His Majesty
the Sultan. Does he suppose to go
all the way by the sea? It’s extremely dangerous. The Black Sea is a treacherous sea. Nothing can be
too dangerous for the sake of making
a good peace, Admiral. Please. – What’s this?
– The farewell salvo. Too bad Franz is gone.
He would have been pleased. With this ship, we can go
to any sea! The Russian fleet may be
burdensome for us now, but later!.. The End
CHESS FEVER Directed by
V.PUDOVKIN y N.SHPIKOVSKY Photographed by A. GOLOVNYA
Artistic Assistant: B. SVESHNIKOV The World Champion:
Jose Raul CAPABLANCA The Hero: V.VOGEL
The Heroine: A.ZEMTSOVA Cast:
N.GLAN, Z.DAREVSKY, M.ZHAROV. Cast:
A.KATOROV, Y.PROTAZANOV, Y.RAIZMAN. cast:
I.SAMBORSKY, K.EGGERT Cast:
…one Master Tournament… Cast:
…and a Candidate Tournament. At the tournament. White Moves. TORRE (Mexico).
MARSHALL (Usa). Carlos TORRE (Mexico). Frank J. MARSHALL (Usa). GOTTGILF (Urss).
ALEXANDER ILYIN-ZHENEVSKY (Urss). R.RETI (Checoslovaquia).
F.YATES (United Kingdom). Richard RETI.
(Czechoslovakia). Frederik YATES.
(United Kingdom). R.SPIELMAN (Austria).
E.GRÜNFELD (Austria). Rudolph SPIELMAN.
(Austria). Ernst Franz GRÜNFELD.
(Austria). Black Moves. In the days of the “chess fever”. Don’t forget. Meet Vera, 10 a.m.
Registry Office. Remember, my darling,… …the most dangerous thing… …for the family life is: chess! Chessplayer – stop here. Give something to the blind man. I loved only you. And you love only chess. Between us all is finished! I will poison myself. I surrender, I will drown myself. Grandfather, my life is broken! My child, take the source
of consolation and peace. Anthology of the most antique
chess problems. Belated Congrulations. Whit best wishes for
your future happines! Kolya has just played such a fine Queen’s Gambit!
I can’t breathe! There is no place for me
in this world. Pharmacy. Give me something in big quantity
and strong against pain. Maybe, Love is stronger than chess? Maybe, Love is stronger than chess? Back to the fiancée. Leave me alone!
Because of chess I hate all the world! I understand this feeling. When I meet
a beautiful woman, I also hate chess. Finally I meet a chess enemy! Tell me how you saved yourself
from chess fever. International chess tournament. I give a final look, and then…
…that’s all! At the tournament! Pass! pass! Here are the effects
of the Champion’s narrations. Darling, darling! I didn’t know
it is such a wonderful game! Darling, let’s play a Sicilian. The family happiness begins! The End
This unbelievable story
started on the 13th of April, 1984. A pupil of the 6th form,
of the school number 20, Kolya
Gerasimov, who was going to buy some kefir,
met his classmate Fima Korolyov. Fima shares with his secret. One mysterious stranger
hides herself in an old house. This mystery must be solved. Kolya and Fima follow the stranger. To their surprise,
there’s no one in the house. On the way out Kolya finds a
basement. In the basement
he finds the time machine. But Kolya doesn’t know that it’s
the time machine and he switches it
on. And that leads to a dramatic seuel. That means if you find a time
machine never switch it on
without adults’ permission. Kolya finds himself
into the future, where he meets
a kind and romantic robot Verter, who works in the Institute of Time. Verter tells Kolya
that he’s in the end of the 21st
century. And the stranger works in that
Institute too and her name is Polina. She’s an expert in the 20th century. Kolya asks Verter to look at the
future and help him to get to
Kosmodrome. If Kolya assumed that his act
could lead to unbelievable
adventures he’d hurry home, but Kolya doesn’t assume anything
and starts to meet the star
expedition. THE VISITOR FROM THE FUTURE PART 2 Do you have tickets to the Moon? The registration and boarding
to the Moon’s flight has finished. I really need it. The registration and boarding
to the Moon’s flight has finished. Okay, any ticket,
somewhere where I could fly
immediately to. Didn’t understand the uestion.
Where do you want to fly? Uranium for example. What’s the purpose? My aunt works there. Go to the Academy of Science. Tickets to Uranium
can be booked only for scientists. Okay, any ticket. Please. You don’t understand me, do you? Boarding passengers for Kosmoflight
”Comrade”, Moscow – Luna port, proceed to Kosmodrome 4.
The Kosmoplane leaves at 12:26. What are you doing? Don’t you understand?
We’re working. Be more specific. We’re launching the satellite.
This is our out-of-class work. – What model?
– Just a satellite. Don’t you have
satellite classes in your school? – I’m from Kanatopa.
– So what? Do you have hard sky in Kanatopa? It’s liuid. You’ve got a nice satellite. We have friends in an Australian
school. We want to have
a constant connection with them. – Are you going to the airfield?
– Yes, we are, but not all. Yes, I see. Hold on, why are you asking
uestions? No reason.
I’ll tell guys in my school about it. We’ll lunch satellites to New
Zealand. – Why?
– Nothing. There was someone like you from
a kindergarten, he got to a
passenger flight. We found him at the last minute.
He would’ve died. He was just stupid. If I decided to fly, I would never
use a passenger flight for that. – What would you use?
– A post flight. They’re being
heated. How to distinguish a passenger
flight from a post one? It’s very easy. There’s a sign. Bye, Kanatopian. No, Mikhail Ivanovich, of course we
can. We have notes here. – You said it’s here?
– Yes. Nothing’s here. Mikhail Ivanovich,
it’s 16 containers with Plutonium. 600 kilograms of diamond.
Where is it? I think it’s in the third hall.
Let’s take a look. Let’s look in the third hall.
How long are we gonna search? Mikhail Ivanovich,
it’s not a needle in a haystack, is it? No, Mikhail Ivanovich, no excuses. Everything’s noted here: 18
containers with Plutonium, 600
kilograms of diamonds. Where is it? And what do unauthorized people
do here? Where? Here. Excuse me. Polina. You’re wonderful.
I always knew that my son’s got a
taste. – Mister Pavel!
– My young friend! – Have you been to the Moon?
– No, they don’t let me fly there. But I was downstairs. You wanted to steal up? No, no. I saw strange creatures
there. What creatures? They came out from crates
and almost killed me. Dear Kolya,
your imagination goes the limit. Although when I was young
I met robbers, pirates too. No, I really saw them. My friend, we don’t have time
for discussing your theories now. I have an offer for you. Do you want to meet my son? Who is your son? My son is a captain of a star ship
Fyodor Poloskov. He’s gonna be here any minute. Here are his friends,
waiting for him. I thought I’d meet you again. Professor, let me introduce you
my little friend Kolya. – Nice to meet you.
– Kolya. And he’s professor Seleznyov.
The director of Cosmo Zoo. He’s the biggest expert
in space animals. Is there a Cosmo Zoo in Moscow? Haven’t you been there? Professor, Kolya is not an ordinary
boy. – Where is Alice?
– As always. In Cosmo Zoo. – Good afternoon.
– Good afternoon. Is it professor Seleznyov? Yes. The biggest expert… Very good. Seleznyov, let me introduce
my friend, he’s a scientist. He’s inventing Mielophone. Oh, yes, nice to meet you. You run, I follow you,
I run, you follow me. It is… co… cooperation. Right? Excuse me, what planet are you
from? From the Archer’s system.
He flew here to see what you have
done. Then we’d better speak his own
language. My friend has left
his homeland many years ago. Out of respect he prefers
speaking the Earth’s language. What are you interested in? I want to look at Mielophone. First I need
to meet my friends with Pavel. Where is Mielophone? – Alice has it.
– And where is Alice? Alice in Cosmo Zoo. She reeds
some mysterious animals’ mind with
it. What a valuable device!
You can read other people’s mind
with it. It’s the power over the universe! And you gave it to your daughter? You know Alice, I trust her. Mister Pavel. Attention, all who is meeting
The First Intergalactic Expedition. Kosmoplane ”Vityaz” is landing
at Kosmodrome 1 at 12:55. Mister Pavel, wake up. My dear friend. – You recognized me?
– Yes. – What’s happened?
– Are you all right? No. Two men came to me. They asked me
about professor Seleznyov. And then…
I don’t remember what happened. Mister Pavel,
I don’t understand. Who are they? One of them turned into you. Kolya, they were looking for
Seleznyov. He has Mielophone. Of course they need Mielophone I should’ve guessed earlier.
They are pirates. Hurry to Cosmo Zoo.
Find Alice and Mielophone. Don’t worry, I will find them. Alice is in danger. I am gonna find them! Hurry up! – Cosmo Zoo!
– Mielophone! Alice! Excuse me, did you see two visitors
here? One of them is thin,
the other one is thick. They are space pirates. Space pirates don’t exist. Am I right? What? What an odd fellow.
Haven’t you seen a talking goat? Napoleon, don’t bother him.
Of course he’s never seen talking
goats. You make me angry. Eat the banana. I’m sick of your bananas. I’d better eat some grass. – Leave me alone.
– Don’t be afraid, he doesn’t gore. Excuse me, what planet are you
from? We live here. He’s the product
of a genetic fault. Students genetics made an error,
he started talking. And they gave him to Cosmo Zoo.
Where else can he go? I’m looking for pirates. Why? Why do you need them? He must be a pirate hunter. – A hunter?
– Yes. Actually I’m not. You know, I went to buy some kefir
and then I met pirates. – What do they do?
– Want to steal Mielophone. Why do they need it? They want to gain power in the
galaxy. Don’t you understand that? Napoleon. The whole galaxy?
I think he’s exaggerating. No, actually, why do they need
the whole galaxy? You don’t believe me. Alright, I’d better go. Hey, boy, where are you running? I gotta hurry. A very naive young boy. – Thank you.
– I got it. They were the pirates. Who? They. Those who tied us. Yes. I talked to them.
Like I’m talking to you right now. I should’ve guessed
that they are not you. Wait. You’re saying
that they’re we? No, you are you,
and they are not you. They look like you, though. – They turned into you.
– Into me? – And into the goat.
– Napoleon. Where’s Alice?
She’s in danger. They want to take Mielophone from
her. What? Let’s run.
Don’t waste any second. – What rascals they are!
– They are space pirates. Hurry up! Let’s run. Did you have a nice walk? Now let’s work. We’ll take Mielophone
and we’ll start carrying out the tests. Concentrate. Carefully. Good boy. You know, I went out
to buy some kefir. And now I have such an adventure. – Actually I’m from the past.
– Really? What century? 20th. I study at the 6th form,
school number 20. – 6”A” or 6”B”?
– 6”C”. How did you guess
that we’re not we? Their goat was talking. Excuse me. If a goat decided to talk
does that mean that he’s a pirate? It insults me. You can speak too? I’m the only talking goat in the
world. Unfortunately not anymore. Here they are. Hurry! We can get them! Think, Senya, think. About something serious. Quiet, Cheery, uiet. Wait for the signal here. Senya, be more serious. I’ll deprive your walks. Please, Senya. Concentrate.
What’s going on with you today? Hello Alice. Hello Electron Ivanovich. How are you today? Very bad.
He got out of my hands. – So bad.
– I just don’t know what to do with
him. What a wonderful thing, Mielophone. I’m always astonished
when I look at it. It’s so good when people
invent something at the right time. Humanity must be ready for the
progress. If Mielofone had been invented 100
years ago, somebody could’ve used
it for bad things. Like what? To steal a treasure or a secret code. Alice, Mielophone! Alice, Mielophone! Alice, come to me! I’ve got Mielophone! Alice, hurry up!
I’ve got Mielophone. – Napoleon, where did they go?
– There. Kolya’s got Mielophone.
He’s from the 20th century, school number 20, 6th form. Why shouldn’t I uit the job? Aren’t I a romantic? Am I worse than Kolya? I can go to the past,
to walk with him. And I will have something to
remember when I will be sent to a
dump. Verter! You came back.
I missed you. You know, I decided
to take occasion and to go with you. Hide me. We don’t have to hide. I will leave a note
and we will go to your time. Space pirates are following me.
Hide me! Pirates? Aren’t you exaggerating? Hurry! It’s getting more interesting. What have you done? I’ve got Mielophone.
They wanted to steal it from Alice. I took it from them.
Now I need to return it to her. It’s them. Let’s run, Verter. I have never seen pirates before. It’s getting even more interesting. Run to your time.
I will try to stop them. Verter, what about you? Do not waste time. Go. Go away! You, a tin! I’ll kill you! I am a biorobot.
And nobody has ever insulted me
like that! Go into the circle. Grasp the hand-rails. Can’t they walk?
Why do they always run? One can break a neck running. At our time
first you think, then run. And now – run and then think. – Where’s he?
– Who? – The boy.
– With the bottles. He ran over there. And adults run too. What weird clothes they wear! – Where did they run?
– Who? A boy, then two men –
a thick one and a thin one. Over there. And girls run too. Wait! Stop! Don’t you have milk? Fima, one day you’ll burst. You should understand that. I have a bigger body,
so I have to eat more. Okay, go on telling me your story,
I’m listening very attentively. I told you everything. I left the time machine
and went to the shop. – To the shop?
– I still had to buy kefir. And you could think
about kefir at that moment? I always thought about kefir.
Even at Kosmodrome. What’s next? That’s all. Now I don’t know what to do. – Go underground.
– Why? Don’t you understand
what a dangerous criminal you are? You wanted to go to the future.
Brought much trouble. You stole that thing… Mielophone. You didn’t show it to me, by the
way. I hid it. What if your mother finds it? She doesn’t interfere in my private
life. You’re a lucky one with that. If she finds it accidentally? It’s hidden in some stuff. – Wipe your hands.
– They’re clean. Hide, or even burn. Are you insane? Okay, give it to me. I wonder, what article of the
criminal code gives the best fit for
you. – Did you leave traces there?
– What traces? Maybe you met someone. Maybe left your address. No, I told everybody
I’m from Kanatop. Business is business. Fima, maybe I should
run to the future again. Yeah, they’re waiting for you there. I’ll just reach the Institute,
leave Mielophone with a note. ”I’m guilty,
but I wanted to do the best.” They’re gonna catch you there. And you’re gonna have to prove
that you didn’t do it on purpose. Burn Mielophone.
Gorky Central Film Studio
for Children and Youth THE SECRET OF THE IRON DOOR Based on the story by Y. Tomin
“A magician in Town” Written by
Alexander Reyzhevsky Directed by
Mihail Yuzovsky Director of Photography
Vitaly Grishin Production Designers:
L. Besmertnova, A. Vagichev Music by Vadim Gamaleya
Lyrics by E. Agranovich Conductor V. Vasilyev Starring
Alisa Freindlikh, Oleg Tabakov, Savely Kramarov, Yuri Uspensky Also starring: Tolik – Evaldas Mikalunas,
Mishka – Andrei Harybin, Mitka – Mitia Yuzovsky,
The magician – Sergey Evsunin Dear citizens,
please observe traffic regulations! Do not let children play
on the road! Do not allow children to travel
sitting on steps and bumpers of buses, trolleybuses,
trams and cars! Remember that adults
are responsible for children! I’ve just been to the bakery. I’m in
a hurry. I’m looking after my mom. She hasn’t been able to get out of
bed in 3 years. And dad’s in hospital. He also works for the police.
He was injured by criminals. – Last name?
– Whose? The criminals’? Your father’s. My father’s? My dad’s? Pavlov! Thank you. Go, Pavlov. Tolik! Where have you been?
Your mom’s been looking for you! And running around the courtyard.
She even climbed up into the attic! Quiet! 990-thousand and one 990-thousand and two 990-thousand and three 990-thousand and four 990-thousand and five What are you doing? 990-thousand and six,
990 thousand and seven. – Is there another exit in here?
– 990 thousand and eight. Are you deaf? 990 thousand and nine.
I can hear you fine. Don’t bother me. 9, 10, 11, 12. Now I’ll show you,
you’ll get to one million right away. And how do I get to it?
One million is precisely what I need. A million what? A million boxes. Then there will be
enough for my whole life. Are you collecting them? Leave that box! It’s mine! It’s mine! Leave that box!
Leave that box! Leave that box!
Leave that box! So, what is your mother ill with? His mom is fine. You know, just now
she was rushing about the courtyard. You’ve made a mistake.
That’s not him. Come with me. – What’s your friend’s name?
– Pavlov. – That’s what he said.
– You’re free to go. So, Pavlov, tell me, where did you
learn to lie so well? – Why lie?
– Because your name is not Pavlov. – So what is my name?
– You’re about to tell me. Ryzhkov. See? Now you’re telling the truth.
I can see it right away. – What time does your mom go to work?
– At about 2. Your mom goes to work at about 2.
Your mother? The one who’s dying? I didn’t say she was dying.
He made it up! I only said that she hasn’t got out
of bed in three years. That’s all. So, she goes to work lying in bed? – What’s in your hand?
– Nothing! – Do you smoke?
– No, I don’t smoke! I swear! I believe you this time. You like
lying, but you’re not good at it. Though you can cross the street
properly, but you don’t like it. – Now tell me where you go to school.
– I promise I won’t anym… – Please.
– No, after you! He broke the public peace and order. He gave such a concert! You could hear him
from the next district! Captain, why are you so sad? – Captain, captain, smile…
– Zaytsev. What? You are at the police station,
not at a friend’s birthday party. And if a friend suddenly turned out to be not a friend, not an enemy but… – Stop mocking.
– Laugh clown! – Zaytsev.
– What? You’re like a dragon-fly out of a
fairytale, constantly singing. You promised me you’d find a job. That’s right. And maybe I’ve been
looking for a suitable job for days. Maybe my hands want to work. These are working hands! They call them golden hands! Listening to you is like listening
to a white dove. I really would like it if you did
become a white dove. Is that your dove? No. I swear! Where’s he gone? He left. Capture him! MAGIC??? I want the policeman to be taken
back to the police station. So maybe they really are magic? I want ice cream! Where have you been?! I’m asking you where you’ve been?! Where have you been? Go to the table!
Go, sit down. – Eat!
– I don’t want to. Eat immediately! I was late for work.
I ran around the whole street. I looked on the roof, in the basement
and at the bakery. Where were you? Oh, mom, so much happened! The police
drove away pigeons. They were singing! Traffic was
stopped but they kept flying. Then they caught a sergeant
and pushed him into a GAZ car! I helped them. The captain thanked me
and he is going to call the school! I’m sick and tired of your lies!
You’re grounded for 3 days. 4. What is this?
And on top of it you smoke?! I want mom to allow me everything. I understand. You want to smoke,
but they won’t sell you cigarettes. From today I will buy you cigarettes.
Shall I get your father’s cigarettes? No, mom. – Shall we have a cigarette maybe?
– I don’t want to, mom. Let’s go then, I’ve got something
delicious for you. Aren’t you going to work today? Work? I have to feed my boy
and get him ready for school. You’re tired. As of today, I will
go to the bakery myself. The bread they gave you is dirty.
Shall I go get you another one? No, mommy, it’s my fault.
I played football with it. Oh, my clever boy. Why with the bread? Don’t you have a ball?
I will buy you a ball! Buy roller skates and a hockey stick!
Two sticks! Of course! – What about the main course?
– I don’t want it. You’re right. You should only do
what you want to do. Let’s go! There you go! Bless! Iron constructions were covered with
concrete, a dam blocked the river, and in the middle of the desert
a sea appeared. – Welcome! Why are you late?
– I… Had no time to think of an excuse?
Sit down. A sea. And this sea, dear children,
was most natural. – How did they let you go?
– Did you tell anybody? – Of course not.
– You can tell, I don’t care. – What have you got there?
– My ribs. Ryzhkov! Pavlov! On every side of this sea
ran irrigation channels. I can swim across any river. I can swim across the sea! You’re a fool! Ryzhkov, repeat what I’ve just said. You were talking about water plants and about dams and
how you can eat them. Now it’s Ryzhkov who will eat dams! – And wash it down with the sea!
– Be careful not to choke! – Leave me a piece!
– And one for me! Quiet, children! You cannot eat dams,
they’re made of iron. Of concrete. I will give you a 2
for inattentiveness. You can say that it’s my fault
that you got a 2. I don’t need to. Right, you don’t need to.
As if I didn’t know your mom. It’s better to tell her right away.
She’ll scold you less if you do. Is it you, my Tolik? Is it you, my darling? I got a 2 in school today. What?! When is this outrage
going to stop? I will not leave it like that!
I will go to the minister! I won’t let them traumatize a child!
Don’t be upset, my darling. What is a 2?!
It doesn’t matter at all! – Only don’t tell dad!
– I won’t tell him, darling! I… I’d better go home! – Go be in goal.
– I don’t have a stick. Take it from him. – Show me!
– It’s my stick! Give it to me! Go away! My dear Tolik! Here, for you. You asked for two, but they
only had one left. I wanted to make a complaint.
They had no roller skates either. Let me quickly run downtown
and have a look there. You’ll buy me one later.
You need to go to work now. What work? Work is nothing,
provided that you have all you need. Provided that you’re pleased,
my boy, my darling. Mommy, it’s time to go to work.
Go, mom. – If you let me, then I’ll go.
– Go. Goodbye, my darling.
Take care. Goodbye. – Show me!
– But it’s my stick. Give it to me! Go away! You’d better give it back,
or I’ll tell my mom! Ok, get a team together,
we’re going to play for the sticks. If we lose,
then you get our sticks. And if we lose? Then we get yours. That will be fair. – Mishka, come here!
– What do you want?! – We’ll play together against them.
– Two on two. Our greetings to the junior team. Our greetings to the senior team. Hello! Goal! Hurray! Tolik! Tolik! Stop acting like an idiot! Throw! Get out of the way, I’ll kill you! Tolik, catch! Shut up! Let’s play again. Come on! – We said until nine.
– I said let’s play! You lost, you wuss,
give me the stick. Wuss? Who’s the wuss here?
Who did you call a wuss?! – What’s your name, boy?
– Mishka Pavlov. – Do you like playing hockey?
– Yes, I do. Come to the skating rink tomorrow,
you’ll play in the junior/children team. But I can’t play. You’ll learn. You’re a brave boy.
We like brave boys in hockey. Hey, guys, that’s Boris Mayorov. Can I come too? I’ll play well.
Better than anyone. You’ll see. Take him too, we’re always together.
I won’t come without him. Alright, you can come too.
See you on Friday. Well done! Let’s go play! Aren’t you coming? No. It’s not interesting with you.
You can’t play. And I’m going to play for a team. – You’re just showing off!
– Who? Me? – You, you, you!
– And again you! – Now I’ll show you!
– Stop waving or you’ll get beaten. – And by who?
– By me! – And by me!
– And me! – Stop! What are you trying to do?
– I’ll beat them with my left hand! Let’s fight, you chickens! – Hit!
– You hit! – I’ll hit!
– So! Get this! Why did I fight? I don’t get it. My
hands were just hitting and hitting. I swear! I wanted to move away,
but something wouldn’t release me. My hands were punching
but I didn’t want to. – It’s my fault. I made you do it.
– What do you mean?! – I was joking.
– Ha ha ha! Very funny! I didn’t want to fight, but I fought.
They didn’t want either, but fought. And you did want to fight,
but you didn’t fight. I don’t understand anything.
I’ll go look for the boys. I want everybody to forget
about the fight. Mishka, wait!
What were you saying about the fight? What fight? – You were in a fight!
– Me? With who? With Petka and Zhenka! – When?!
– Never. I was just kidding. I was signed up for a hockey team. Good. Good! Good. What?! What?! Old woman, come here! Quickly! – Look at this hockey player!
– So what? I am very happy. It’s an excellent game and… Look at this excellent game!
It’s violent! See how he hit him? Please! This is simply murder!
Did you see how he beat him? – Did you see?!
– Tolik will also learn that. Right? Are you crazy?! Anatoly, go to the other room. Quickly! What’s wrong?! Why do you talk
to the kid like that? I forbid you to intervene in his
upbringing! You don’t know how! He won’t be able to finish school,
to say nothing about university! He wants to be a hockey player! Mom can take care of that! Now, kids, you’ve seen everything. We’re going to train
on Tuesdays and Fridays. Have you all got your shorts,
t-shirts, and your gym-shoes? Do you wear gym-shoes
to play hockey? We won’t start playing for a while. We are going to learn how to breathe,
hold the stick, and skate properly. – And for those who can play?
– None of you can play. I can! I swear! – Do you want to play with the pros?
– I can! It’s the same for me! Then go get changed,
and as for us, kids, we’ll see how, thanks to Tolik Ryzhkov, our young men will beat
the world champions. – I get it. A practical lesson.
– Just tell them to be careful. It’s not possible! Puck! Puck! Puck! Puck! Guys! Over here! – I am going crazy!
– Me too! Well done! Well done! Well done! – What’s this letter?
– It’s a number. Don’t bug me. – What’s this number?
– It’s a letter. Don’t bug me. Open! – Hey, buddy! What’s up?
– Two problems left, and geography. – I am not going to study.
– You’ll get another 2. – I won’t!
– You will! – Let’s bet 100 flicks.
– You studied and I get the flicks? – I didn’t study at all!
– You swear? I swear! I swear! Ok then! Guys, wait! Now I am going to flick
Mishka! You lost the bet?! Well yes, I did. But you’re lying
if you say you didn’t study! – Lying? Me?!
– You, you, you! And again you! – Of course he’s lying!
– You convinced me! – Yes, I’ve got…
– What have you got? Nothing. Mishka, your forehead! – And the rest is forgiven!
– I don’t need forgiveness. Flick! – I won’t!
– Flick me! – I won’t!
– Then I’m not talking to you! – What, are you offended? You lost.
– Leave me alone! Do you want to flick me?! I’ll give you half. Take your share!
I’ll tell you everything! Eight matches left. Seven, eight. Eight. Tolik! – I hope I am not disturbing you?
– No. Dad and I are going to our friends’
if you don’t mind. You need anything? – No, mom, go.
– Thank you, darling. Mom, I need a bike, with a little
motor. Oh, my poor boy! I should
have guessed right away! Of course you need a bike and
exactly one with a motor! Let’s go! – Yevgeny, our child needs a bike!
– Does he need a steamboat as well? – Very funny!
– The bike will wait. The bike will wait, but not our child. – We’ll discuss it later, we’re late.
– Now! This very minute! Anatoly, leave the room. Go to bed!
You will not get a bike! Tolik, don’t go!
You will get two bikes! – What are you talking about?!
– Three bikes! You’re just a fool! Lusia! Lusia! Lusia! What happened? I don’t understand. We never used to fight. I want them to make up. – Don’t be upset. It’s all my fault.
– Don’t be upset. It’s all my fault. – I love you very much.
– I love you too. Lyonechka, why are you not playing? Can you look after Mitka?
I’m taking Buran home. Okay! – Don’t you dare!
– Go take a walk, kid! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Can you throw me like that too? I won’t do it anymore! Take me down!
Please! His are bigger! – Shall we fight?
– I won’t! How did you do that? Let’s have a tug of war.
All of you together against me. – How are you going to win?
– Simple. I’ll pull and win. – He won’t tell you anything.
– He doesn’t want to. – I’ve said everything!
– If you don’t want to tell, don’t! Stingy! Stingy!! I am not!
Why are they still hanging around? If they want to take a ride, then
they should ask properly. Hello. Would you mind if
I took a short ride? Go ahead. Could you hold this, please? – Can I take a look?
– Yes, but be careful! – I like the violin.
– It’d be nice to learn to play! – I’d learn easily.
– Everything is easy for you. You’d learn easily as well. Have you seen how hard Lyonka works,
and he still hasn’t learnt! What are you whispering? Me? I’m just saying that you can play
better than anybody in the world. What? – Let’s bet 100 flicks.
– Aren’t you afraid for your head? – Play!
– Alright then… I’ll flick you all 100 times! – It was by accident…
– Play! Mishka, you’re a fantastic violinist! I will never play like you!
It was excellent! You play really well!
You play very, very well indeed! I will never play like that! Mishka, why are you crying?
You played so well! What do you need? I will do anything,
but please don’t cry! I don’t need anything! I’m not
a violinist, you know? I’m ashamed. As you wish. Now I’ll tell you everything. It’s for you! Do anything you want! – What can I do?
– Anything! Maybe ice cream?
Three servings for everybody. Are you crazy?
You want to waste one on a trifle? Can I have a real plane?
What’s that new one called? TU-134! Yeah, that one. So? Where are you going to put it?
It won’t even fit in the courtyard! Buran, do you know this doggie? It got lost! – Is this your dog?
– It’s not mine. Who lost this shaggy dog? Is this your dog? Have you lost your dog? Can I? It’s your match. You can do
whatever you want with it. Kuzia! Kuzia! Come here! Where have you been? My little Kuzia! Maybe I wanted to do that myself,
but I had no time to do it. Take this! Do something
for yourself now. – I apologize!
– It was an accident. Let me help you. Where to? Come here! Quickly! – Give me back the box!
– It’s mine! No it’s not! Now you’re nobody and I’m a magician,
and I can turn you into a spider. But notjust yet because
you’re coming with me now. I don’t want to! I want you to! You’re being naughty!
Mishka is a bad influence on you! Tolik, give me a match!
We’ll show him! – You won’t do anything!
– Who are you? The magician. From the booth. The mightiest, the most powerful. The one and only magician on earth! Oh, you’re a magician! Let’s go! He’s not a magician,
he only has magic matches. He’s nothing without them! Zero! Nothing without them?! I’ll show you! I can draw a zero
with or without matches! And you! And you! You all! Mishka! Mitka! Guys! Where are you?! Mishka! Mitka! Buran! Is there anybody here? Yes! Here! My belly is full of electronics, I’m not afraid of work,
I’m not a shy robot. I turn up when they call me,
and I act immediately, no tantrums and no refusals! I don’t know goodness,
to me it’s stupid and useless, I can step on flowers,
I’m completely made of iron. When I push on this button,
a little door opens, see how practical:
I don’t have a heart. Where are Mishka and Mitka? I have to show you the entire island. – You’ll see everything!
– Let’s go! Take the gun. Shoot! Shoot! – But it’s alive!
– Don’t miss it. Kill it! I don’t want to! You can do what you want! Go! Here, there are no classes
and no teachers. It’s just like being in heaven! And people older that 16 cannot visit this island. Far from boring classes and rules, play, have fun, have a good time! Praise me seven days a week, and the rest of the time admire me! I’m my own brother and friend, I like having fun on my own. I admire myself and see everywhere my own attractive face. My own attractive face. My own attractive face. My own attractive face. My own attractive face. – Good afternoon.
– Where are Mishka and Mitka? Forget about them. Now we three
will be friends. Me, you and Balbes. Or I’ll turn you into a spider.
Do you understand? Good boy! I’ll have to reward you. – Do you like it?
– It’s a golden star. I rewarded you.
Weren’t you dreaming of being a hero? I’m not a hero! This is not fair! And playing hockey better than
everybody else was fair? And getting good marks for nothing?
I wrote down everything! It was by accident. That’s why I liked you. But when you started using matches
for other people, I became angry. But I’ll forgive you like a friend. You’ll like it here!
And Balbes will look after you. I’m always near. I will allow you to envy and flatter. Start! Don’t hesitate! Try! We’ll live like that, and this will be a great friendship until we die. – Where are Mishka and Mitka?
– Here. – Where?
– One must not do what is prohibited. – I’m not doing anything.
– You can do what you want. – Then tell me where they are.
– One must not do what is prohibited. Prohibited! You fool! I’m not a fool, I’m Balbes. A robot. – So tell me. What is prohibited?
– To approach the establishment 13. Is Mishka there? – One must not do what is prohibited.
– Of course. Thank you. Look always ahead of you! In a fire, in the smoke of a battle! Good fortune is waiting for us ahead,
we’ll find an exit… Exactly! At least one from any hopeless situation! We’re in a trap, we’re in trouble, and we’re in a fighting mood! We won’t disappear anywhere:
Not in the fire, nor in the water! Hold tight, my friend!
Stand firm, my friend! I’m here with you, so… I beg your pardon. The three of us. Enough for you! Today I’m good. Ask for forgiveness and I’ll let you
go to your mom and dad! Is that clear? – Without Tolik, we’re not going!
– Is that clear? – Now you’ll crawl on your knees!
– What can you do without them? – Mitka, who is he without matches?
– He’s nothing, zero! I can do anything! But I want you two
to ask for forgiveness yourselves. The malicious magician
is the master here. He shouts loudly and watches strictly. Look, he’s so important,
but he’s all… alone! But good people like us, there are… many! Very well! I already know what
to turn you into! 24 hours to think about it and… – You spy!
– I’m not a spy. I’m Balbes. A robot. I’ve heard that 100 times!
What are those buttons? Red to stop. Green to go forward.
The steering wheel, to steer. You can go sailing. I’m near. – I don’t want to sail.
– You can do what you want. I want to play hide and seek! Order understood.
I’m starting to count. Eeny, meeny, miny, mo
robot counts and off you go. One, two, three, four, five,
ready or not, here I come! I have to be near!
I have to be near! I tricked the fool! 17 hours left. I will twist your hands and break
your legs and unscrew your head! I see a boat. I see a boat. – Why did you run away?!
– For fun. Out of spite. That’s great! I’m spiteful too.
I wanted to break Balbes into pieces. Right. It wouldn’t matter. Of course. I can make a million more! You’re spiteful too!
Now I’ll have to reward you! First of all, I’ll give you this boat. Then, I’ll give you back the matches.
Tomorrow. – You can do what you want.
– Can I go to Mishka? He won’t be there tomorrow! All of them won’t be there tomorrow! Where are you going? – I’m tired. I want to sleep.
– He can do what he wants. I hope you get rusty! Let’s go. Quickly! Quickly! – Do you like it?
– Yes, very much! I’m sick and tired of it.
Let’s be envious of each other! I’ll give this to you as a present,
and I’ll start to envy you. Then I’ll re-create everything
and you will envy me. – I don’t want to!
– Why not? Out of spite. It’s good that it’s out of spite.
You are going to be a real friend. – And I will lock you up out of spite.
– Goodnight. You can do what you want.
I have to be near. Be then. But be quiet. Order understood. Order understood. You can’t go any further.
Tomorrow you can. – Tomorrow will be too late!
– Better late than never. What do you know?
You blockhead! I’m not a blockhead. I’m Balbes.
A robot. I want to play hide and seek. Eeny, meeny, miny, mo
robot counts and off you go. That’s not fair! You’re peeking!
That’s not how you play! – You can’t go any further.
– Can you? – Yes, I can.
– I’m tired. Carry me in your arms! Order understood. Go straight. I am not allowed to go there.
But you can carry me. I want you to carry me in your arms.
And I can do what I want. Order understood. Order understood. Tolik! Mishka! – Where are Mitka and Buran?
– You won’t find them. Nor will he. – Where did you hide them?!
– Hup! Hello! – Why didn’t you hide?
– There isn’t enough room. Mishka. I will rescue you! – He’s coming here!
– Run away! Robot, down there! Order understood. Order understood. – Can you take me for a ride?
– That was a ride! We’re done for! Calm down. You go there. And you… You… – So? Have you changed your mind?
– Be quiet! Mitka is asleep! Is it hard to ask for forgiveness? You know what, magician? At last you understand that!
I am a great magician! You’re the greatest.
You can do anything. That’s right! You’re improving!
I’m the greatest. I can do anything. So why are you coaxing friendship
out of Tolik? Can’t you make any friends? You can only force them! I will turn you into a spider. You have turned into
a spider already! You’re justjealous because Tolik
is my friend now and not yours! And he wanted to scorn you! Goodnight! So you don’t want to talk anymore?
Coward! Coward! Coward! There are 6 hours
and 35 minutes left. Tolik, are you sleeping? He’s sound asleep. I have nothing to do, but rest is good I’m the richest and the
merriest of all! And boredom is a mere trifle.
It’s just an illness. It’s the illness of magicians
and kings. Oh I’m so bo…
Oh I’m so bo… I’d like to drive away
this dark melancholy! But how can I entertain myself? What can I blow up? What can I break?
What can I set on fire? I’ve got everything,
just stretch out your hand. If I want to, I can turn
a hippopotamus into a donkey. Why am I so bored? It will go away. It’s gone
away already. Oh, I’m so bo…
Oh, I’m so bo… I’d like to drive away
this dark melancholy! Oh, I feel down in the dumps. I’d like to laugh just for 5 minutes. You can find at least one exit from any hopeless situation! Now, uncle robot, together. You can find at least one exit from any hopeless situation! – Of course! Where is the exit here?
– Where is the exit here? There is an exit here! – Where is the exit?!
– Quickly, robot! Speak! You have to say “please”. Please! Order understood. Order understood. I am the greatest magician. I am the greatest magician. I am the greatest magician. There are 4 hours and 25 minutes left He’s stuck. Help! – Tolik!
– Mitka! Buran! Go in. – Mitka, go ahead!
– Hurray! Climb up, uncle robot! Hide! – What is this?
– Eyes – No, those are radars.
– Really! Uncle robot, hold the antenna please. I’m not uncle robot,
I’m just a robot. – Thank you.
– You’re welcome, uncle robot. It’s a true story. It happened on the new street
in the 6th block. Some bad habits were thrown
in the dump, cruelty, and deep envy,
hatred and flattery. And there, with a sad song,
the magician retired. He came across a treasure
and screamed “Hurray”! You see,
I will fashion a subordinate, a little son, a little magician,
thanks to this treasure. A little son, a little magician,
thanks to this treasure. And he fashioned a subordinate,
who, while hugging him, slipped his hand into his pocket
and stole the magic matches. And immediately he performed magic:
He deprived his father of reason, and he turned him into
a stupid dummy made of iron. Kids, it’s important
to drop nasty habits. Take care of this immediately,
but you must remember to throw them very far,
so that people won’t see cruelty, and deep envy,
hatred and flattery. Cruelty, and deep envy,
hatred and flattery. Raise you hands! He’s got the matches! – Mishka!
– Give it back! – Tolik, grab it!
– Give me the box! – Mishka, catch it!
– Mitka! Balbes! I am near! Tolik! Shut his mouth! Quickly! Buran, stand guard! Mitka, pull the rope! Balbes, grab! Like that! Order not understood.
Order not understood. He said, grab the chocolates
and shove them in his mouth! Order understood! Eat. It’s good for you! Let’s make compote from him! It’s a pity. Uncle robot, thank you.
Goodbye! Goodbye! – Come here!
– Mitka, go! – Yes, captain!
– Let’s go! – Balbes, help!
– Order understood. It’s a pity that there aren’t anymore
undiscovered countries. Stars are waving at us. We’ll teach Martians
to play football. Martians are little blue guys. We’ll remain friends everywhere, and we’ll never part along the way. We’ll show you such marvels, just let us grow up a bit! Isn’t it upsetting that a sparrow should fly right above you? We promise that soon
people will have wings and we’ll be able to fly
anywhere we want to. We’ll remain friends everywhere, and we’ll never part along the way. We’ll show you such marvels, just let us grow up a bit! He’s following us! Rescue me! Save me! Order understood! Help! Help! Help! Overhaul! Order understood! Order understood! Don’t be scared! – Crush them! Drown them!
– I won’t! What?! Traitor! Take this! – Has he drowned?
– No, he’s a diver. Alright. I’ll catch you anyway! He’s taking the matches! What will happen? Buran has got matches too. I’ll show them! I’ll get them! Look! There are two matches here! One for you and one for me. I want… I want… Now, now. Now! I’ll show them! They’ll cry! Oh! Oh! I am the greatest magician. I am the greatest magician. I am the… I am the… – What’s wrong?
– I’ll be told off very badly at home At home? Out of one match I made
a million boxes. You’ve got only one match left! You can do anything! Anything at all! I don’t need anything! Nothing! Tolik! Where have you been? Your mom has been looking for you.
In the courtyard, in the attic! THE END
Central Studio of Children and Youth
Films named after M. Gorky Written by
Vladlen BAKHNOV Directed by
Veniamin DORMAN Director of Photography
K. ARUTYUNOV Production Designer
M. GORELIK Music by
Nikita BOGOSLOVSKY Sound
D. FLYANGOLTS Lyrics by A. GALICH, V. BAKHNOV,
Ya. KOSTYUKOVSKY USSR Cinematography
Symphony Orchestra Conducted by Emin KHACHATURYAN REMOVING STAINS I’m telling you again – our dry cleaner’s
doesn’t do ripping off buttons or sewing them on
to clothes, dropped off for dry-cleaning. We got different responsibilities. Why don’t you agree
it sounds pretty weird? It would be way more logical
if you did those buttons too. Let’s take me, I’m still a bachelor,
you know, and these buttons are a real pain
for me. I’m very sorry, but I can’t help you.
I’m a bachelor, too, you know. Then you can understand me
better than anyone else. I’ve been doing research work
throughout my entire life, and these buttons have passed me by. I understand it all, but I’m telling you
again – our dry cleaner doesn’t offer… I’ve already heard it. I can’t make you change your mind,
as I see. And you’re calling yourselves ” The Team
Delivering Excellent Customer Services” ! Sheer paradox! And you check the book of complaints –
so many customers write about it there! However we could easily sew on or
rip off buttons on customer’s request. This is called ” services” . Services? Ms. Gulkina, you’re
new here, and you’re still unaware that in our business it’s much easier
to put a new burden on our shoulders than lift if off later. Hello? Nina? Yes, it’s me. Of course I remember. Sure, I’ll see you off. When does the train leave?
I’ll be at the station in 30 minutes. – Alright, Ms. Gulkina…
– Gulina. Don’t complicate life,
it’s very rough as it is. And you should live easily,
Ms. Gulkina. EASY LIVING STARRING: Aleksandr Bochkin – Yuri Yakovlev If anyone wants to see me
or calls me – I’m at the Directorate. Margarita lvanovna
aka ” Queen Margot” – Faina RANEVSKAYA Galya – Nadezhda RUMYANTSEVA – Is Aleksandr Petrovich available?
– No, he isn’t . What a shame! I’m running a bit late.
I’m working like a dog. – I beg your pardon. Pure wool?
– Right, pure. Domestically-made. Hand it to him and ask
to get it cleaned by tomorrow morning. You got it. But next time spare me
these kind of errands, please! – You’re so rude! Bye.
– Bye, Queen Margot. Give my best to him. For your information, women’s jackets
are worn longer now. Up to here. Olga – Nelli MYSHKOVA
Yuri Lebedev – Vsevolod SAFONOV Can I help you? No, no! Thank you. I’ll take a porter. No big deal.
I can easily handle it myself, especially as I know now
we’re both from the same city. You’re very nice. Vasilisa – Vera MARETSKAYA
Muromtsev – Rostislav PLYATT – Where did you hide away my books?!
– Took them to a second-hand bookshop. Don’t you know it’s out-of-fashion
to have too many books at home? – Look…
– Come on, Vovik, honey. Gulina – Lyudmila GNILOVA Professor – Georgy TUSUZOV Okay, let’s get started. With Yu.Timoshenko, Ye.Berezin,
S.Balashova, G.Vodyanitskaya, I.Zhevago, N.Golubentseva, N.Ivanova,
V.Kabatchenko, N.Kokorin and others – Thank you. See you.
– Any time. I feel so embarrassed, you know.
You’re a like a real porter. That’s okay. Excuse me, Mr. Bochkin, right? – Shurka! Bochkin!
– Yurka! Lebedev! – It’s me. Front and present!
– Glad to see you. Where from? From Dalnogorsk. This is my
travel-mate Olga Sergeyevna. And this is my former group-mate
Shura Bochkin. – Glad to meet you. Welcome.
– Likewise. – Can I take it?
– Here you go. So? Incredible. It’s a small world! – Are you gonna stay in Moscow long?
– A couple of days. Then to the mountains. Who else from our group-mates
works in Moscow? Shura! What? Practically no one.
And where are you going now? To escort Olga Sergeyevna home,
and then – to the hotel. Then I’ll give you a ride. – Thank you, don’t worry, please.
– Why? I’m going the same way. – How come you know where I’m going?
– Wherever you go, I’m going. – And what’s your currentjob?
– I’m head engineer. Wow… But our plant isn’t the biggest one
in the USSR. And what about you? You haven’t closed the door well,
I think. Let me do it… – So you’re going on vacation?
– To Bakuriani. Wow! Terrific! – How long haven’t we seen each other?
– Since we graduated. For 7 years. – You’ve been in Moscow all this time?
– Yep. – And where do you work?
– Who? Me? – Right, you.
– At some place, you know. Producing something
or doing research? Mostly doing research. Olga Sergeyevna, is it your first
time in the capital? I used to live here for many years. Olga Sergeyevna went to
a teacher training college here. – Really? So you’re a teacher?
– Right. I’ve been respecting teachers
since I was a kid. So here we are. Thank you. Wait. Yura, this calls for celebration.
What do you say? Definitely. Olga Sergeyevna, let me invite you,
on your behalf and on my behalf, to take part in our big party today. I don’t know. It’s kind of unexpected. So much the better. Life would be
so boring if you knew all in advance. Come on, say ” yes” . Please.
And Yura is asking you, too. Right? Please, come with us.
I’m begging you. See? Please, don’t say ” no” ,
or we’ll get down on our knees. If you get down on your knees,
then I say ” yes” . Great. Tonight at 9 exactly
right here. – Where’s Vladimir Yermilovich?
– At a lecture. Alright, tell me how you are. Like a squirrel in a wheel. This
apartment alone takes heaps of time. Then comes all this shopping.
Can you imagine this? At times I think
I’d better be working. Like you, in school. And I quit my job in school
shortly after I divorced Nikolay. – Really? And what are you doing now?
– Making hats. – What hats?
– Ordinary hats. Like this one. Really? Wow! A fabulous hat! – You made it yourself?
– Right, myself. Oh my! You must be raking in money. I earn more than I did in school. I’m on my own now
and must take care of myself. But I’m sick and tired of all this-
hats, customers, Dalnogorsk! Poor Olga! I understand you.
This life is not right for you. I can imagine this Dalnogorsk. I guess people are so unfashionable
there that you got no one to talk to. How many hotels, do you think,
are there in Moscow? About 50, I guess. Then we got to try just
the 40 ones left. Right, to make sure
there’re no vacancies in them. I wouldn’t have stopped in Moscow if
I needn’t to go to Chief Directorate. Why not drop by there
on your way back. They will have approved all
the figures by that time. I feel very awkward, but is it okay
if I stay overnight at your place? – If not, just say it straight.
– No, why not… Great. I’m not gonna bother you.
D’you keep yourself busy at home, too? – Keep myself busy doing what?
– I mean, busy writing, thinking. – Ah…
– You, scholars, are obsessed guys. Right. But that’s okay.
I can live with it. Olga, dear, where is your Nikolay now? No idea. I think he’s building
something somewhere. Aren’t you sorry you’ve divorced? Me? Sorry? No way. I hate losers. Why was he transferred
from place to place? Because he got no backbone. To go to Siberia – no problem.
To Sakhalin – okay, great. To the North Pole – still better. I’ll tell you this – never marry
young guys, it’s way too risky. You never know how they’ll turn out
some years down the road. Way better to marry mature guys,
who’ve made their careers already. He may have heart and blood pressure
problems, but it’s not a pig in a poke. Don’t worry, next time
I’ll be a smart girl. Good for you. Margarita lvanovna.
Hi, dear! Got any visitors here? Just my sister. – This is Olga.
– Glad to meet you. And this is my benefactress
Margarita lvanovna. Queen Margot. You know, I could tell at a glance
you two are sisters. Cause you are like two peas
in a pod. And both are real beauties. Only you wear a size bigger, right? What size shoes do you wear? – Size 36.
– I got something especially for you. Only make sure this time it’s not
like with that dress the other day. And what was wrong? I bought a dress from you, but these
dresses were on sale at every corner. Look, I didn’t say
stores were not carrying them, I just said I was having them. Margarita lvanovna, but… It’s so very hot in here.
You’re so gorgeous! You’re a goddess! A queen!
Do you know who you are? – Who?
– You ‘re Minerva-horsewoman! I got something very special
for you. I bet you’ll like it. – Something really glamorous!
– I’m intrigued. – The Kunderevs give you their best.
– Aren’t they in Karlovy Vary now? Got back already. If you’d like something
made of 100% pure wool… I got it for myself, though, but you know how I feel about you. Just look at this. Too ordinary… Wait. Isn’t itjust fabulous?
A real day-dream! I’m taking this one. – What?! I promised it to an actress.
– Which actress? – From the ensemble.
– How come? I’m your client, aren’t I? I can’t . Don’t open! Please, don’t open! What are you doing to me!
Let me get dressed! Don’t open! Don’t scream so loud! Quick! Quick! I can’t . Go check who’s there. It’s milk delivery. Oh my, they scared the hell
out of me! You know, I got so nervous lately. I can’t relax even at night: I keep on seeing those cops
in my dreams. It’s a real nightmare. Look… My legs won’t hold me up. I got a totally wonderful thing for
you. Strongly recommend to take it. Here. Look. What is it? Wait. Do you know what’s this? This is a cream… This is a cream for facial mimicry. And what’s this? This is a compact, lipstick, perfume –
a make-up set, you know. – How much?
– We’ll agree on the price. And you haven’t seen this yet.
You can get it only from me. I’m buying it! And what’s this? An anti-aging cream for wrinkles. But you’re too young for it, you know.
Keep it in the fridge. Olga, honey, do you still remember
English? I hope, yes. I used to read
Shakespeare in the original. Incredible! You’re so well educated!
You can do even this! I also used to know
some foreign words. I even knew a French guy
from Odessa. And this is especially for you. This is… You know, what’s this? This is a one-size bra
right from California. Look, fabulous, isn’t it? – No, no, wait.
– Hang on. Don’t worry about the cream. My clients took 4 sprays from me,
and now they look totally different, even their own kids
don’t recognize them. I’ll get the same jacket for you. I know one guy, a real saint.
He can get anything. I’ll go call him. You know how I love you!
Bitch! Oh my, I’m just a nervous wreck. Just look at this parasite’s riches.
Even hung some abstractionism. Can I speak to Alafern Nikolayevich,
please? Alafern Nikolayevich, it’s me. Have you got what I need in size 48,
for a highly educated one? You have it. On my way already.
See you. Jeez, how smart this moron looks. Oh! Oh! What is it?! What’s up?! Oh my God! What is it?! What’s the matter?! – What did you give to me?!
– A cream. – It’s so very burning.
– It’s a natural reaction. That’s it. – Olga, read the instructions, please.
– It’s a furniture polish. Not a cream. – A furniture polish?!
– My face is totally disfigured now! They palmed off 5 such sprays on me.
Damned illegal traders! I’m gonna sue them! – I’m gonna sue you!
– Come on, you’re kidding me. I’m an honest lady, I graduated from
a grammar school. Take the jacket. To hell with yourjacket!
Get out of here! What an unpleasant incident! Oh my! You’re trying to do the best you can.
And what do you get in return? Listen to what I’ll tell you, dear. The imported furniture polish is as
good as our domestic cream. Trust me. Your old skin will get off
and you’ll be like a newly born! Really? You’re so beautiful today! If my clients weren’t waiting, I’d be
admiring your beauty all day long. A real dandy! Couldn’t you go
to the dry cleaner’s yourself? I’m rushing from place to place: work-
college, college – dry cleaner’s , dry cleaner’s – grocery store! I’m tired like hell! And frozen to
death, too! Aren’t you ashamed?! Yes, I’m really ashamed! – Who’s washing there?
– A buddy from Dalnogorsk. – Which one?
– Yuri Lebedev. – The fat one?
– No, the tall one. Remember him? Nope. – Look, Galya, honey.
– Yes? Want to go to a restaurant with me? Why?
Is it your birthday? No, just to celebrate our reunion.
So will you? If you insist. I got new shoes on credit
by the way. Why on credit?
Couldn’t I give you cash for this? You know that I wouldn’t take money
from you. Look, why are you so nice?
Do you want anything from me? No. And why are you asking? I can see through you. Okay, I’m gonna confess.
I want you to do me one little favor. Galya, sweetie, don’t tell Yuri
where I work. Again?! I’m sick of you leading a double life.
And I’m not gonna lie to cover you! I don’t ask you to lie.
Just hold back the truth. No way! I’m not gonna help you,
you’re on your own. Galya, please, try to understand me.
You’re making me look like a fool! I’ve already told him I’m doing
some research. Itjust slipped out. You’re putting me in a horrible
position. Not me. You did it yourself. Okay, okay, I did it. But please,
help me out, for the last time. Galya, really for the last time.
Trust me. So what do you want? You want me to
say you’re a scientific genius. Why a ” genius” ?
Just an ordinary researcher. We were at college together.
I feel kind of awkward. You feel awkward, and I must lie.
And what if he asks me? Get creative. Feel free
to dodge the topic, or say nothing. Great. If you’re asking, I’ll keep
my mouth shut. I won’t say a word. It’s a no go. How can I explain
why you’re not talking to him? Get creative. Feel free
to dodge the topic, or say nothing. Hi. You must be Shura’s sister? – Good guess.
– And your name is Galya. Right. Galya. – And I’m Yuri.
– And he is Yuri. Sorry, I’ve barged in on you like this. Never mind. Don’t make a big deal about her not
talking to you. She’s got a sore throat. I mean, it hurts. Some complications.
Docs forbade her to talk. – Okay, let’s get ready.
– You mean I need a tie? Sure. – Does this table suit you?
– Absolutely. Thank you. – Sit down, please.
– Here you go. – Hi, how you doing?
– Hi. – Hi.
– Hi. – Who is it? A very familiar face.
– Come on! This is Toropunka! – The Toropunka?
– Sure. Who are you saying ” hi” to? Absolutely no idea. – Why say ” hi” to strangers then?
– So they won’t say I’m conceited. – Let’s split it in half, huh?
-Right, in half! – Is it fair like this?
– Absolutely fair! – Okay, which half is yours?
– This one. Here you go. Take it if you think it’s fair. I’m toasting the man, thanks to whom
we’re having this merry party. What’s the essence, the significance
of his invention? Sorry, Mr. Bochkin,
I kept you waiting. We are catering the banquet now. – In whose honor?
– In some renowned inventor’s honor. What can I offer you?
We got your favorite fish. That’s for sure. Maybe, you’d like
to make your own orders? No, we totally rely on you.
Here you go. Thank you. Okay, we’ll do it like
this. We’ll order this. Why teach you, you know all yourself.
And this? Have you got it? For you we got everything –
just name it. – I see your friend is a famous guy.
– Today chemists are held in esteem. What, Galya, dear? Ah… crabmeat.
We’ve already ordered wine. What? – Champagne.
– 2 bottles. – Oranges.
– Right. And why can’t she speak? It’s her throat. Doctors temporarily
forbade her to speak. That’s it for now.
Extra tips for speedy servicing. You’re number one after the director
here. How do you get time for that? So where do you work?
I didn’t get it, you know. Who? Me? After today’s happenings I’ll challenge to a duel everyone
who dares to deny love at first sight. – Any volunteers? Great. Want some?
– No, thanks. – Do you fall asleep fast?
– Actually, yes. Okay, sweet dreams,
but I got some work to attend to. – I’ll be there, in the kitchen.
– Stay here. Don’t kill the light. – I better go to the kitchen. Sleep.
– Good night, scholar. Good night. Okay… ink. The picture’s clear –
we got an educated woman here. Alright. Let’s try to remove
these stains. Sorry, Shura,
I need to light up. I cant’ sleep
God knows why. – Working?
– Right. We’re working. I won’t distract you. Sorry. No. Well, what? I can’t work
in these conditions. Oh, Vovik! Chapa! Vovik, it’s bad for your health!
Eat this carrot. – Look, I’m not a rabbit.
– Nibble this dry cracker then. Anyway, I’d like to know
what your Shurik does. I’ve already told you,
he’s a chemist. It’s way too abstract.
Mendeleyev was a chemist, too. At school we had a chemist who taught
chemistry. Actually, a lady-chemist. So I’d like to know to what kind of
chemists he belongs. Obviously, he’s not
a school lady-chemist. And it’s even more obvious,
he’s not Mendeleyev. But this is not the answer
to my question. They’re roasting Skvoreshnikov here-
it horrifies me to read it. Oh God, I can’t believe it.
He’s Vovik’s colleague. But why? Obviously for his book. Olga, just imagine – he was absolutely
all right and bang!… And he’s done. Yes. He’s done. You remember, I didn’t advise him
to take up this theme, don’t you? Alright. We’re praising
the insanity of the brave with an adequate song,
so to speak. Thank you. Vovik looks so much like Hemingway.
Don’t you think so? – Right.
– I’ve heard others say it, too. Go work, and take it easy, please. No. Thank you. I can’t believe it. He was absolutely
all right. If Vovik comes in,
say it’s you who’s been smoking. The two of us quit smoking together. Olga, I guess I figured out why your boyfriend avoids
talking about his work. Why? He just can’t talk about it.
Has no right. He’s a top-secret researcher. A top-secret researcher?! All physicists’ and chemists’ work
is a military secret. Trust me. So is it good or bad? Let’s try to reason logically. If he’s a top-secret researcher,
he’s no fool. Sounds logical? Right. And if he’s no fool,
he’s a talented scientist. Maybe, even renowned. And, probably,
Vovik knows his last name. Vovik! Yes! – What famous chemists do you know?
– How many letters? – To hell with letters.
– I thought it was a crossword. Olga, we’re so stupid! How can Vovik know his last name
if it’s a military secret? All adds up, you know. Vasilisa! What? What’s the hell is going on here?
Where’s my manuscript?! What manuscript? The manuscript
of my Ph. D. thesis I’m working on. It’s gone all of a sudden . Don’t worry.
I’ve hidden it in a safe place. Vasilisa, I need it for my work now!
Where is it?! Up in the mezzanine. Up in the mezzanins?!
My manuscript?! – Get it from there, please.
– Right. – Do it. Now.
– Okay, just take it easy. It’s been up there for 2 years,
so what’s the rush now? I’m better already. And what’s your thesis about? Olga, dear, I’m afraid I can’t
explain it to you in a few words. It’s not completed yet.
I got a lot of work to do. But I can tell you this. This thesis is the dream and
the essence of my whole life. Everyone should have
a long-cherished dream. Some high goal, which he’s trying
to reach throughout his whole life. He’s trying on,
and on, and on. Otherwise he’s not Man! You know, for me this thesis is notjust work I’m doing for a living. Each time it’s a discovery of
the world. Some kind of happiness. And the confirmation that I do
mean something in this life. – Vovik!
– What? You’re a total ingrate. I’m keeping your manuscript safe and
you’ve come down pretty hard on me. Here. Safe and intact.
Do you love me? I do! Olga, dear, hold it, please.
This is my thesis! This is it! Right, let them not think
that only Skvoreshnikovs can think. Here they are – my huge ideas! You know, Shura, I think everyone
should have a dream. A cherished dream he’s trying to reach
all his life. He’s trying on, and on. Otherwise he’s not Man. – Do you think so?
– Sure. And you? Me too. Go ahead,
I’m listening to you. You know, I work in a school
notjust for a living. Every time it’s a kind of a discovery
of the world, happiness of creativity and the feeling that I do mean
something in this life. You know what I mean? Sure. I’m positive your kids
in the school love you so much. And I reciprocate them their love. In this case, on behalf
of your favorite students, I propose a toast
to their favorite teacher. Oh no. Let’s better toast
your favorite work. – A very good toast. Bottoms up.
– Okay. I desperately want to see where
you work. Will you take me there? It’s totally impossible. Sorry.
I’m just mortified! Forget it. No big deal. Don’t worry. There’ll be no traces left. You’re so professional at it, as if
you’ve removed stains all your life. You’re right. Didn’t I say I’m
working in the dry cleaner’s . I’m just dying to see
where you work. Though I understand
it’s just impossible. I can imagine you at work. You sit there so concentrated,
knitting your brows and ignoring everyone around you. Like this. You’re a very good imitator. No kidding, a perfect one. “Snow-flakes are swirling all around
us like in a dream. “Show-flakes are melting
on your eyelashes. “Are you going to stay with me long, “My darling stranger? “What town is it? What land? “The vast dazzling whiteness
stretches in front of us. “Maybe, it’s not January, but May? “Maybe, it’s cherry-trees blooming. “I’m so much scared it’s but a dream. “And you will be gone,
like snow in spring. “So why have you come to me, “My darling stranger?” – Yuri, want some tea?
– No, thank you. Good, I don’t have time
to serve you anyway. Afraid I won’t have time to sleep
because of this draft. Your brother works at nights,
and you too. You two are like a model working
family. – You got a mistake in it.
– Where? Sorry. Take a look. Here. When are you supposed
to hand your draft in? Tomorrow, or I won’t get any academic
credit points. – I can see your throat is okay now.
– What? Your throat. Ah, my throat… Yes, it’s okay. You’re very efficient with it. Nikolay Petrovich
would’ve given you an ” A” . For real?
Nikolay Petrovich himself? Wow! You’re trying to butter me up. Here we are. We got so much in common
in our outlooks, in preferences, like we’ve known each other
forever. Like a thousand years? – I know all about you.
– And I’ve always known I’ll meet you. I’m happy, too, I’ve met you. Till tomorrow. See you. I’m happy, too, I’ve met you. Don’t be making this noise! Yuri is sleeping. Yuri is sleeping. I think
he’s been abusing our hospitality. I couldn’t imagine he’d be staying
so long with us. I’m terribly uncomfortable with him.
And you too, by the way. Sure. Every minute I expect him
to start asking me about you. – And what am I going to say?
– You lecturing me again? Yuri says you were a top student
at university? Right, you got a very talented
brother. And Yuri owes me his job. Really? It was me who was originally assigned
to this plant in Dalnogorsk. – Why is this light on?
– Want to see you better. Why do you never talk to me
seriously? I hate serious conversations. Or you are frightened of them, huh? When Yuri arrived at Dalnogorsk, there was neither town, nor plants
there, they had to rough it in tents. And you’re blaming me
that I didn’t go there. I can imagine how much
you envy him now. – Come on! I envy Yuri?
– Right. And what good has he got in his life? Sweats blood at his plant. Wastes
his vacation on the Chief Directorate. My life is much more exciting. Definitely. Thanks to Queen Margot
you got all this cash. You got a car and more threads
than any fashionable girl. Waiters in restaurants just adore you
and you’re leading such an easy life. Right, I’m not the role-model
of our time. So what? Some are after heroic acts,
others – after a quiet, peaceful life. You had a talent, but you
traded if for cutlets a la Kiev. It’s my own talent. I have the right
to trade it for whatever I want. Bravo! Bravo! So why won’t you tell Yuri
or Olga about it? – Probably, you want to do it?
– I’m staying neutral so far. – Armed neutrality.
– But I’m gonna take you in hand! No, this is going to end badly.
I’ll have to get rid of this Yuri. Hi! For the 3rd day running you turn up
in front of our plant after the shift. Is it accidental too? History knows much weirder
coincidences. – Going to college?
– No, home. And, you know,
I’m accidentally free tonight. Same here. And also accidentally. And after that you refuse to believe
in amazing accidental happenings? I wouldn’t say so. And we can have a very good time
together tonight. Great. You’ll be helping me about the house. Yes, ma’am. Oh, our ride! Okay, like we agreed.
You’re my aunt from Kiev. You’ll come 5 minutes after me.
Will you remember this? Go again, please,
I’ve developed sclerosis recently. You’re my aunt from Kiev.
Can you playact my aunt? You know how I feel about you. I can playact even Anna Karenina for
you, no worse than a People’s Artist. I was in amateur talent activities.
Sang Snow White in my hometown. Here are your things. You’ll come in
precisely 5 minutes after me. Wait. What about your sister?
Will she be in? She doesn’t like me, you know. Relax. She’s always out at college
at this time of the day. You’re so cute. You make me crazy. Salute to those working in chemistry! Is it okay if I stay here for another
couple of days? Even for a month. Especially since
you’re irreplaceable in the household. Yura! Yura, potatoes, please! Why are you home?!
And not at college?! – They cancelled a seminar.
– Why? – How do I know?
– I got to tell you something. What? Look, Galya. Now our aunt from Kiev
will come to stay with us. Got it? – What aunt?
– Margarita lvanovna. Why are you doing all this? To get rid of this Yura. You said
you feel uncomfortable with him. And when our aunt arrives, Yuri, as a polite guy, will understand
there’s no room for him here. – Is that it?
– Yes. That’s it. – Great.
– Great. – It won’t work.
– Why? I’m against it. What do you mean?
She’ll come here in a second. She’ll come and go. And cut this crap,
or I’ll spill the beans to Yuri. – So what do I do now?
– You’ll find a way to get out of it. Hi! Hi, darlings!
I’m your aunt. I’ve come all the way from Kiev.
And I’ll be visiting with you. – Right?
– Yes. Hi, auntie, dear!
This is a surprise! Hi! – And this is my friend.
– Glad to meet you. I’m Lebedev. Likewise. I’m their aunt.
I’ll be visiting with them. And where’s my dear niece Galya? Oh, yes, she’s not home.
She’s at college. No, she’s home. Galya,
your aunt has arrived. She’s home.
This wasn’t our deal. Shura! Oh, there she is! My dear niece Galya! I can’t believe my eyes! Is it her?
She’s so grown up! Oh! How very rude! And where am I going to live here? You’re not going to live here! What do you mean? Dear auntie, you’re going
to stay with someone else. You’re gonna stay… with Grisha. – What Grisha?
– Your other nephew. But I don’t want to stay with Grisha. I want to stay with you, Mr. Bochkin. Just Shura. Dear auntie, we got no room here,
you can’t stay with us. – Look, we’re backpedaling out of it.
– What? But am I still your aunt? – Yes, but you better agree on Grisha.
– Okay. I agree to stay with Grisha. After all, he’s my own nephew, too.
See you. Alright, great. Just great.
Let’s not lose our time then. I was so nervous when I was acting. I’ll give you a ride to his place. – See what a hell of an actress I am?
– Yes, I do. Will you take me home? – I’ll move to the hotel right off.
– No way! Vovik, don’t forget for God’s sake,
handkerchiefs are in the left corner, the hot bottle – in the right one,
validol is in the upper pocket, piramidon, aspirin, codeine
and antibiotics are in the lower one. Nitroglycerine is right here. You’ve loaded me with all these
medications like I’m going on a trip from the Directorate of Drugstores
and not from the Knowledge Society. Knock it off.
Cracking jokes is not your genre. You’re so out of shape. So a 2-week
lecturing trip is no stroll for you. Okay. Here’s a list of some errands.
Do them all, please. Pick up the suit from the cleaner’s .
Take the Hoover to the repairs. Can’t you do all this yourself
when you’re back? I can never ask you for a favor. Why? Here it’s written: get money
by proxy. I’ll gladly do this one. It’s natural. And now I ask you, no,
I demand: stay away from this… Margarita lvanovna.
Or I’m taking away this proxy. – Vovik, sweetie! Do you love me?
– Yes, I do, I do. Let’s sit for a few seconds,
before I hit the road, okay? I had no time to say ” bye” to Olga. She’s too busy now. A 5-day-long
continuous romance. It would be very appropriate
if we met this guy too, you know. I desperately want her to strike it
lucky at least once. However, he’s totally crazy
about her. And what about her? You’re asking.
He’s so talented and unmarried. These two qualities are so rarely
found in one person now. – But I possessed them both.
– Vovik. Sorry for taking your precious time, but can you make an exception
and take this suit for cleaning? I would’ve gladly helped you,
but I got to follow instructions, which forbid us to take things
with such stains for dry cleaning. So what do I do now? I’m going on a trip
and I need this suit badly. Yes, I understand you. It’s not my responsibility, you know,
but… I can make an exception for you
and give you the number of a woman, who can do it privately. She can remove any stains. I’ll greatly appreciate it. – But it’s just between you and me.
– Sure. Here’s the number.
Margarita lvanovna. Margarita lvanovna. I’ll remember. You know, I’m so happy that your
relationship with this scientist is developing in accordance
with the plan we worked out with you. But you need to be more active. What are you talking about? He got a right to know me better
before he proposes, okay? And you got a right to show yourself
to best advantage. There’s a graduates reunion
in your college today, right? Why not go there together
with Bochkin? Why? What do you mean ” why” ? He’ll see
what interesting people you know. Tell me who your friend is,
and I’ll tell you who you are. And besides, when he sees
how many guys you got around you, he’ll realize that he has to rush it. There’s a rational grain in it. I got granaries full of such grains. Aleksandr Petrovich,
we’ve come to talk to you. – About what?
– About how we’re serving our clients. – Again?
– Again. I see you’ll never leave me alone.
So? We got a new complaint here.
We don’t want our clients to think that only bunglers and inefficient
workers work in our dry cleaner’s . Ms. Gulkina, that’s not me, who issues instructions,
and I can’t cancel them. You’re standing in the way of progress.
Then we’ll go to the Directorate. – Okay, I’ll think about it.
– We’ve heard it already. – I’ll consult someone.
– We’ve heard this, too. I’ll think again
who I can turn to for advice. And you come in my office, please. Look, Ms. Gulina. Sit down, please. I’ll be honest with you. You’re here just for a working record
to be accepted to University, right? Go ahead. You’ve been here for only 6 months,
but I’ll give you a certificate that you’ve worked here for 2, 3,
even 10 years. And you can go and apply
to university. Don’t thank me for this. Maybe, there’re some who are trying
to get here after college, but I’m not in a rush to go to college
from here. I want to work here. But I can imagine how desperately
you want to get rid of me. No, you can’t imagine it.
And one of us will have to quit. Mr. Director. What is it, are you mocking at me
or what? You’ve been holding the suit here
for six weeks. All suits of Moscow and Moscow
region could be cleaned in this time. And what’s the result? It’s no
cleaner than it was before. Take a look at these huge stains.
Bigger than the jacket itself. This is a great exaggeration.
They’re just tiny stains. – You think so?
– Yes. Look, I got to warn you,
you may get in big trouble because of these tiny stains. Come on, don’t you try to scare me. Your husband shouldn’t have put
such stains. Are you going to teach my husband
which stains to put and which not? You think, if my husband
is away on a very important trip, I don’t know where to file
my complaint? File your complaint wherever you like,
but don’t speak to me in such a tone. That’s how you’re talking to me?! I mustn’t speak to you
in such a tone?! That’s how you’re reacting to
the criticism coming from below? Remember, you’ll come to apologize
to me. It’s no cleaner than it was before! Totally outrageous!
This is some lowdown business! And you call it dry cleaner’s !
Wrap it up! I know where to turn to about it. You’re my last hope. Get it cleaned
before my husband is back. Relax. The firm won’t let you down.
The suit will look brand-new. You look so gorgeous today!
A real Venus. Shit, forgot her name. See you. See you, dear. God damn you! Mr. Bochkin, I’m so glad
I met you here. I was about to go to your place.
We got an urgent order. Not so loud! How many times
did I ask you to do that?! – All right. An urgent order.
– I got it. – Must be ready by tomorrow morning.
– Get in. Does your girlfriend
live in this house too? My girlfriend? Wrong.
My bride lives here. – Are you getting married?
– Having it in my plans. Best guys go away to become husbands. Guess what I got for you in this case. Imported nappies, baby’s loose
jackets, caps for twins. – Thank you, but it’s too soon.
– Take them. Babies grow, you know. – What suit is to be cleaned?
– Very important stains. – Oil paint?
– Wait. I’m not a professor, but I guess
it’s corn oil. Margarita lvanovna,
I don’t like the way you’re splitting our company’s
revenues. You’re hurting me so bad. I’m doing all the harmful work,
and you’re just collecting orders. Pardon. You’re working underground,
while I’m risking in the open. Who knows, what’s worse for health? Do you read newspapers?
On the last page? Guess what I got for you.
An imported tie. With such a pattern that I’m really
embarrassed to show it to you. You’ll check it out at home. Keep it for yourself. Where on earth
do you get all this stuff? It’s my little women’s secret. Okay, look. I’m late for the theatre. I’ll drop you off over there. PEOPLE’S COURTHOUSE No, not there! A bit further on! Here! She lives here! Easy, Shurik. Easy.
Stay calm, and that’s it. – Hi.
– Hi. Can I see… Oh, I’m sorry! So now you’re saying you’re sorry? What did I tell you? I told you
you’d come to me to apologize. Okay. Take off your coat. The minute I’ve given a call to
the authorities, and you’re here. But I’m not spiteful, you know. Come in, please. Thank you. But how did you find me? Who? Me? It’s a secret. I got it. There’s my address on the receipt. And you’ve come to take
the suit for dry-cleaning, right? Yes! You’re absolutely right. You’re late. I’ve handed the suit
to a private specialist, who, unlike you, is not set off by
the stains that are hard to remove. Basically, there are no such stains
that private specialists can’t remove. I beg your pardon. Hello? No, Olga,
your scientist hasn’t called yet. If you’re not gonna wait for your
turn in the hair salon, take a taxi. I’ll introduce you
to the dry cleaner’s director. Right, he’s here to take the suit
back to the dry cleaner’s . Can you imagine this?
Such a fantastic customer service. So come quick. Olga! – Where are you going?
– Who? Me? I’m not going anywhere. – And why did you blush?
– No, I didn’t . You just imagined it. Why are you standing?
Sit down, please! You know, I got 2 tickets to
the theatre. So if you don’t mind … You’re inviting me to the theatre,
right? Me? You? You’re so nice. Does the dry cleaner’s
offer this service, too? No way! This is my own initiative. You want to invite me to the theatre
on your own initiative? And I thought you were doing this
on behalf of your dry cleaner’s . And why are you so positive I’ll go? I’m not positive at all.
I’m positive you won’t go. And will I make you happy
if I go with you? I’ll be on cloud nine.
But please, hurry. We won’t be late. I’ll be ready
in 3 minutes. And what’s your name,
mister director? Shurik. Aleksandr Petrovich. Aleksandr Petrovich? Terrific. There’s so much expressiveness, dynamics in your name.
It’s so emotionally charged. – You think so?
– Yeah. – Well, how did you like the singer?
– Nice, but not Jacqueline Francois. – And you heard Jacqueline Francois?
– Sure. – And how did you like her?
– Nice, but she isn’t Edith Piaf. – 15 ice-creams.
– Why so many? – It’s for my whole brigade.
– Here you are. I’m out of ice-cream. It’s just outrageous. A kind of outing
to the theatre with ice-cream. – Probably, a cup of coffee?
– With pleasure. Oh, excuse me! I need to make
an urgent phone call. – Suit yourself.
– Thank you. – I’ll be over there.
– Great. – Can I use you phone, please?
– No. Please. No, it’s for the staff use only. Thank you. You’re very kind. Olga, dear! Good evening! I’m so sorry, I’m being delayed
at work, and so I can’t make it tonight, I’m afraid. Oh, what a pity. We have a graduates reunion at our
teacher training college. I didn’t go. I waited for your call,
thought you’d make me company. So what shall we do? What shall we do? We’ could meet tonight
after work? Sounds great! Then I’ll rush to the college now and you’ll come there to pick me up
when you are free. Great! I’ll be waiting. She’ll be waiting. She’ll be waiting! Yes! Thank you. – Here you go.
– Thank you. What’s the matter?
Aleksandr Petrovich? What’s wrong with you,
Aleksandr Petrovich? Oh, my shoe strings got untied. Sorry. That’s all right. Let’s take a stroll.
I’d like to be alone with you. – Really?
– Yes. Come on. Aleksandr Petrovich! For God’s sake!
Are you nuts or what? And you’re calling it ” a stroll” ? I thought we were participating
in a kind of hurdles. I’m sorry, but I’m acting with you
like I’m a total fool. Do you think I’m that dumb
and don’t understand anything? And what do you understand? That the suit was just an excuse
to come over to my place. No use to try to outwit you.
You got the male mind. Right, sometimes I understand
more than I need to. But you’re a very dangerous guy,
too. Do you try to meet many girls using
the same tactics? Right, many. Shura! Look who’s here!
Meet my friends, please. Hi. I’m Galya. I’m Vasilisa Sergeyevna. – Glad to meet you.
– Likewise. – Vasilisa Sergeyevna.
– Lebedev. – Well, how’s the concert?
– Not bad. We don’t have such concerts
in our Dalnogorsk. Are you from Dalnogorsk? My sister
lives in Dalnogorsk too. Probably you know her?
Olga Sergeyevna Korotkova. Olga Sergeyevna… Do you know her? And I thought you all knew
one another there. You must be kidding. Dalnogorsk
is a huge city. Really? – Yura, it’s huge, right?
– Yeah. It’s natural that Olga Sergeyevna
doesn’t know Yura, she’s a teacher,
and Yura is a chemist, you know. Are you a chemist? Tell me, please, probably you know by any chance
a chemist named Bochkin? – Bochkin?!
– Right, Bochkin. He’s a researcher. – No, he doesn’t know any Bochkin.
– No, I don’t know him. Aleksandr Petrovich, and you,
do you know Bochkin? Who? Me? Right, how can you know him?
This is not your field. Right, this is not my field. I think it’s very hot here.
It’s draughty here! – I don’t think so.
– I guess the interval is over. Excuse us. We’ll meet later,
In the next interval. Are you nuts?! – Galya!
– Yes. Tell me what’s going on. Look, let’s make a deal.
Never ask me about my brother. I should’ve told Olga the truth
long ago. And wouldn’t have been
in such a stupid position now. How can I explain it to her now? How? Easily! Like this! And who knows. Maybe tomorrow
I’ll be no longer a bachelor. “It’s incredible, but it’s a fact. “When the examination period
begins due to the schedule, “We say to each other
‘Good luck’, buddy Don’t be chicken.” “To boost our self confidence “For the examination period “We say to each other – ‘Good luck!
Don’t be chicken!’ “Chefs don’t serve chicken or duck
to us. “We’re hitting the books
from morning till night. “And to make sure we don’t oversleep
the sunrise, “Our pillows are as hard as rocks. “There’s no down or feathers in them!
So good luck! Don’t be chicken! “Student life is full of fun.
We’re good friends. “Forever we’ll remember college
and heated discussions till morning. “Years won’t gallop past us, buddy,
leaving us untouched. “And so instead of big mops of hair “We’ll end up having heads
bald as chicken eggs, buddy!” “We’re not occasional friends,
we’ve been friends since forever. “And when time to part arrives, “Instead of saying ‘good-bye’ “We’ll say to each other our usual- “‘Good luck! Don’t be chicken!” ‘ Then I became a post-graduate student. And I’m finishing post-graduate
courses now. I have three kids. All is clear about you.
Take your place, Vadik Mineyev. – And now Borya Morozov.
– Me! I’ll send you out of the room! Tolya Vakula! Look at yourself! What
kind of assistant principal you are! – Borya, tell us, where do you live?
– In Tula. – And what are you doing there?
– Teaching literature. Tanya Levchenko. I’m Savchenko now. And where are you living now? Go to
the board and show it on the map. I’d gladly show it, but this place
isn’t on the map yet. Olya Korotkova. I’m working in Dalnogorsk.
Teaching literature. – And do you like it?
– Yes, very much. I think that the teacher’s profession
is the most exciting, and I’m just happy that I dedicated
my life to this noble work. What do you want, Masha? May I step out? Why do you want to step out? My husband is signaling to me. – What are you doing here?
– She’s crying. Time to nurse her. Couldn’t you wait? The recess. The long recess. This tall guy in specs is a professor
at University, he’s writing books. And that one is Vadik. He’s finishing
post-graduate studies. He has 3 kids! And that is Misha Sergeyev.
He’s a writer now. Come here. Do you see the girl
conducting the choir? She defended her thesis
and moved to Chukotka. Can you imagine this? Olya, who is it? My bridegroom.
A very talented scientist. Shura, meet my friend, please. – Shurik… Aleksandr Bochkin.
– I’m Tanya. Ivan Sergeyevich has arrived!
He’s my favorite professor. Would you like to meet him? Let’s go. Hi! – Let me introduce my friend to you.
– I’d be delighted. – Excuse me.
– That’s okay. Shura! Where are you going? I’m sorry, I’m tired as hell. It’s been a very long day for me. Then I’ll go with you. No, stay here, enjoy yourself.
You got really good friends. See you. I’ll call you tomorrow. If anybody calls me,
say I’m not home. Maybe, you’re not home for Olga
either? For Olga, in the first place.
Yesterday we had our last date. Did you have a fight? Or did she uncover your secret? None of your business! Sure, it’s none of my business.
And to save your ass is my business. You stirred up all this trouble
and got me into it, too. I can’t explain anything to Yura now. Serves you right! You shouldn’t have
kicked out our aunt from Kiev. You’ve picked up a perfect hero
for your romance! Just listen to him!
And who brought him here, huh?! Me, but he won’t go away
because of you. Chief Directorate is holding him up
here, in Moscow. Chief Directorate?! Right, Chief Directorate! I’d like to know what you mean
by this word? Look, I don’t allow you to go out
with Yura. What?! I obey, my brother and master. It’s a whole hell of shit! I’m dodging Yura in my own home. I’m trying to sneak into my own
apartment when he’s already in bed. Can you take him away for at least
one night? I got urgent work to do. Queen Margot’s order, right? My dear brother and master,
how can I take Yura away from here, if you put the big foot down and
don’t allow me to go out with him? Oh, wisest of the wise!
I can’t see any logic here. Today, I’m making an exception, and you can go with your Yuri
wherever you want. I’ll do anything for you!
The dry cleaner’s requires sacrifice. Imagine, I thought such passions were
possible only in foreign movies. Actually, I already noticed his
strange glances at the dry cleaner’s .. I was yelling at him,
and he was just staring at me. So what’s next? Today I’m going out with him, and
I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know. I don’t know.
But can I get a short rest from Vovik, while he’s sowing seeds of wisdom,
kindness and eternal values? One poem in my head goes like this:
“I like it when someone likes me.” I absolutely adore poetry. Hello? Wrong number! Why isn’t your Shurik calling today? He will. Everybody is so different. Take your scientist. So indecisive.
And my director is all assertiveness. Yours is so insecure,
mine is a primitive but glamorous guy. Like Pushkin said:
“Water and rock, ice and flame…” Hello! Push the button! No. It’ll be like I said. Period. Never! I got no time to speak to you, Olga. I need to dry clean the suit
of your esteemed sister’s husband. What can we talk about? Huh? You got your outlook, I got – mine.
You like to work, I – to enjoy life. A researcher. So what?! If I wanted, I could be
a researcher, too. If I wanted… Mr. director, I devoted my entire
life to research. And I’m not supposed to rip off
and sew on these damned buttons. Professor, it’s not
one of our duties. I’ve already heard it! – And I got a company car.
– Really? And what do you do? I’m head engineer. I propose a toast to our talented
inventor. – Cheers!
– Cheers! – In whose honor is this celebration?
– This is Bochkin. Front and present! – That same Bochkin?
– Aleksandr Petrovich. – He knows me.
– Really? – Really.
– You must be kidding. Hi there! Yes… I could’ve been anything
that I wanted to be, and what am I doing now? Shura, what’s going on?
You didn’t call me. What happened? Absolutely nothing. Where did you disappear?
Oh my, you’re such a mess! I’m busy with my research. Doing
a very serious experiment. An experiment?! How very interesting!
Can I peep with one eye? No way! It’s top-secret. Top-secret? I got the point.
Military secrecy. But If I’m in your way,
I’ll be off. That’s okay. Come in, please. You even look a bit different,
you look real drained. But I understand you – nothing
can beat exciting work. I am not even pissed off at you. You’re talking to me,
but you’re thinking of your research. The experiment! Stay where you’re! Back off!
This is lethally dangerous! – Are you okay?
– This time, yes. You have no right to risk your life! I understand, science comes first,
but don’t do it. They got nothing similar here.
Incredible! Come here. Are you carrying
the same suits, but without a hole? Made of the same fabric? Sorry, we don’t carry it. – What do we do?
– Let’s go to Maryina Roshchya. – Okay! Let’s go.
– It’s a fantastic department store! – Are you carrying the same suits?
– Made of the same fabric? – We gotjust one, it’s in the window.
– Get it for us! Please! Save us! Get if for us! Okay, I’ll try. We got lucky this time! You know, the one who’s seeking
will ultimately find it. Right? Aleksandr Petrovich, where did you
disappear? It’s so cruel. I’m so happy you’ve come! I’m so glad to see you, too! But, please, don’t sugar up reality. In life, like in art, I value
only the truth. Me too. While we are at it, the suit, which I had to take
to a private specialist after your dry cleaner’s ,
got back to me absolutely brand-new. Really?! Fantastic. The advantage of private sector!
It beats me how they’re doing this! And you’ve come here
just to tell me that? And why not? I’m not that mean, as you might think. I was just passing by, and decided to tell you that I’ll be home tonight,
and if you… No, it’s absolutely impossible. I’ll be busy. Sorry, I intend to work
late tonight. Aleksandr Petrovich, labor helped
Ape evolve into Man, not to turn him into a working mule
afterwards. – Work can wait, huh?
– Yes, you’re right. Yes. Work can really wait.
I’ll drop by tonight. By all means. And I’ll introduce you to my sister. I bet you’ll fall for her. Terrific. Cha-pa! So? What’s new?
Did your chemist call you? Yes, just now. And you spoke to him
like we agreed? I told him I’m leaving tomorrow.
He got so upset! Good. And then I said that I don’t feel
well and can’t go out with him, and if he wants to say goodbye to me,
he must drop by. He got so upset
that I felt so sorry for him. Let him get upset. Now he’ll show up
and get straight in my hands! You came up with a great plan! Actually, intellectual guys tend to
hesitate and self-analyze. And your Bochkin hesitates, too –
to marry or not to marry. And unless we slightly push him,
he’ll be self-analyzing till he retires. I guess it’s very possible. And your departure
will urge him to act promptly. Note, we aren’t doing anything bad. We’re just speeding up the natural
course of events. And we’re right doing it. I should think so! Like the French
saying goes – c’est la vie! By the way, my director also
promised to drop by tonight. Olya! Let’s introduce them to one another,
okay? I spent last night at the Telegraph,
so that I wouldn’t meet Yuri. Today Olga leaves, but I can’t say
goodbye to her because of Vasilisa. – Aleksandr Petrovich!
– It’s my lunch-break! Ours, too. That’s why we’ve come.
Here! – What is this?
– A collective request to quit. What’s the matter? A collective request? Very interesting. So you decided to quit yourjobs.
All together. Right? – You got it wrong.
– We’re asking you to quit. What?! What the hell you are talking about! We’re asking you to quit of your own
accord and not to meddle in our work. So you’re intent on teaching me
how to work? Lunchtime is over.
Get back to work. – And you, Ms. Gulkina.
– Gulina. – I won’t leave it like that!
– We so much hope for it. These suckers dared
to teach me how to live! Look who’s here!
Hi, Volodya! Hi, Olga! – Vovik, why you got back? You sick?
– Come on, darling. Relax. Just no lectures today, so I decided
to spend the whole day at home. I hopped on the train for Moscow,
and here I am. Like Chatsky said: ” I’m up with the
sunrise, and here I am, at your feet” . He didn’t have a bad heart, and you
better quit all this ” hopping on” . – Are you mad that I’m back?
– No! Vasilisa can’t wait to see you. Do you love me? I do. I just got so scared.
You appeared out of the blue. Ladies, I got a surprise for you. What surprise? Come on, tell us. On the way home I bought tickets to a variety show
for all of us. Terrific! Only Olga will be busy
dating her Bochkin. How come? The chemical reaction
still proceeds? Wait. Bochkin, Bochkin.
I guess it rings the bell. Sure. He must be very renowned.
Are you hungry? – Like a wolf!
– It’s bad for your health. Here’s my director’s number.
Tell him not to come today. But speak lower, okay?
And I’ll go feed my wolf. Hello? – Is it the dry cleaner’s ?
– Yes. Can I speak to Aleksandr Petrovich,
please? Olga! Aleksandr Petrovich speaking. Vasilisa Sergeyevna asked me to tell
you not to come tonight. Her husband is back
and they’re going to the theatre. – Are you positive about this?
– Absolutely positive. – And nothing can change?
– I’m afraid, not. This is great! Thank you. It means I’m going to see Olga! Sorry I’m late.
And thank you for waiting for me. But we didn’t arrange to meet here. I’ve been just window shopping. Thank you for being just
window shopping. Are we going home? Then let’s take a bus? You know what? Let’s better take a walk. – I need to talk to you.
– About Shura? – How do you know?
– I was ready for this conversation. I’m going to say good-bye
to Olga now, and this is it. I won’t tell her anything.
And what can I tell her? I’m proposing to you and offering you
Queen Margot’s illegal dry cleaner’s . No, I better let her go away
and stay unaware of my secret. Then Yura will go away
and I’ll resume living like I want. – Like you want?
– Right. You think so?
Come on, don’t cheat on me. No, brother. You won’t get rid of me
so easily. You’re ashamed of yourself
and would like to live like good guys do. But only on one condition: so that you won’t have to waive your
conveniences of life, habits, money. But it doesn’t work like this. Why should I be ashamed? I’m neither
a freeloader nor a swindler! I’ve robbed no one! No one? And what about yourself? Myself? When? When you set your mind on living for
yourself and started to seek easy ways. First you allowed yourself to forget
you’re an engineer. Then you hooked up with this
Queen Margot. And what’s next? Did you think of it? Shura! Shura! Drop this act! Don’t pretend you’re
sleeping. I spilled the beans to Yuri. Do you think I was blind and didn’t
see something’s wrong with you? – And don’t be pissed off at Galya.
– Let him be pissed off. I don’t mind! Stop bugging me, okay?!
What do you want? Right, I’ve ruined my own life!
Note, my own life, not anyone else’s . What am I supposed to do?
Maybe jump out of the window?! Huh? It’s the best escape from your problem.
We live on the 1st floor! And stop yelling! And what would you do
in my place, huh? You know, Shura, any situation
can be altered. Right, I know this. But what am I
supposed to do? I, not someone else? Who needs an engineer who’s never
been a day in his profession? I’ve totally forgotten everything. Yura suggests that I go
to his plant in Dalnogorsk. – What do you mean, to his plant?
– What you heard. To work there. Is it true? But not as an engineer, you really
forgot everything. But with time… But if only you want it. I want it! You can’t even imagine
how desperately I want it! But Olga. How can I explain it
to her? – Come on, if she loves you…
– Wait! I got a brilliant idea! She said that she can’t imagine her
life without her school in Dalnogorsk. I can say to her that I’m moving
to Dalnogorsk just to please her. Sounds great! Galya! – You’re an incorrigible show off!
– She’s right here. Today I’m going to tell her the truth.
And nothing but the truth! I’m going to tell her everything.
It’s up to her to decide what to do. I got to rush while Vasilisa is out.
I want her to know the truth from me. Then do it! You’ll never regret you’ve taken me.
I’ll be sweating blood! I promise! I’ll make up for the time lost! I’ll
push you aside and take your place! Vasilisa, honey! Hurry, we’re already late. I’m almost ready. You may put on the suit,
I picked it up from the dry cleaner’s . I’m sure you won’t recognize it. Okay, we’ll see. Chapa, Chapa. – Do you remember our plan?
– Yes, I do. Act as though you future is at stake. Either you move to Moscow
and live the way you like it or… – Vasilisa!
– What’s the matter with him? Vasilisa! – What is it?
– What does it all mean? – What have you done to my suit?
– Me? Nothing. It’s the suit itself. – What do you mean ” the suit itself” ?
– It stretched in the cleaning. Wait. What are you talking about, Vasilisa?
Just look at it! Margarita lvanovna, what has your
private dry cleaner done to the suit? What private dry cleaner?
And why Margarita lvanovna?! Quiet! Are you using her services again?!
I asked you not to do it! I demanded! Stop yelling at me! I can turn to whoever I like
and buy threads from whoever I want! From whoever you like?!
But who gives you cash for all this?! What?! Cash? So this is what it’s all about! You worry about your damned money!
You’re obsessed with money! Right! I can think only about money!
I’m working like a mule to make it! My colleagues are doing some important
work, and I’m just making money. They write books, and I’m busy doing
this fucking useless side-work! And I’m doing itjust to make
more money! That’s it! But they end up having heart attacks
like your Skvoreshnikov! And you live like a normal guy! It’s not normal, you hear?
Not like a normal guy! Vovik! A normal guy would’ve gone berserk
living such a meaningless life! I live like a watchman,
guarding my own belongings! My sables! Vovik! Are you nuts?! You know who I could’ve been?!
And what I’ve traded myself for?! For the furniture! For the antiques! For the cut glass! To hell with all this stuff! – Vovik, please!
– To hell with it all! To hell with it all! She doesn’t need books, and I…! Vovik! Vovik! Vovik! All right! That’s enough! That’s enough! You’ve gone nuts! Remember
how much it costs?! I don’t care! You don’t care? Then break
something really cheap. Here. Drink this water. And break
the glass. Well? Come on! Break it! Good evening. I already thought you wouldn’t come.
Take off your coat, please. Thank you. – Are you crazy?! Get out of here!
– Who’s there?! – He is not my guest. Honestly.
– He’s come to me, Volodya. Come in, please. Don’t stand there. Come on in. Come on! Terrific! You’re my silly darling! Why get so nervous over some stupid
suit? More the less, not a new one. A match. Where? – Perhaps you better go to sleep?
– For good? What are you talking about? I’m sorry, there’s got to be
some mistake here. – Forget it. But, maybe, I better go?
– No way! I’m so happy you’ve come. – Come in, please.
– Thank you. Have a seat. Olga. I’m moving to Dalnogorsk. Great. For long? You didn’t understand.
I’m going there forever. – Forever?
– Right, forever. And what about Moscow? By then I’ll be always around you and
you won’t have to quit your school. I’m really at a loss.
And what about your work? This is precisely what I wanted
to tell you. There I’m gonna get some real work,
and here… No, no. Better I’ll move here. I can’t accept such a sacrifice.
I’m set on moving here. But this is not the point. Yes, this is the point! My dear,
my sweetie, please, don’t move here! Just great!
You leave a guy for 2 minutes, and some girls go all sweet on him
right away! Aleksandr Petrovich, out of here! Don’t listen to her. Vasilisa,
this is my Bochkin. He’s come to me. Wrong, this is my Aleksandr Petrovich.
And he’s come to me! What Aleksandr Petrovich?!
This is my scientist! Scientist? This scientist’s working
in the dry cleaner’s ! – No!
– Yes! Yes. – How did you dare?!
– I… I didn’t want to, itjust happened. I felt ashamed that you’re so
engrossed in your work, a teacher… A teacher?! She’s as much a teacher,
as you are a scientist. A hatter with university credentials! You’re a perfect match! So what? Olga, dear,
we can start it all from scratch. If you’re by me side… Dream on! If I start it all from scratch, it
won’t be with you in Dalnogorsk! But why not? If you care for me… Me?! For you?! You cheated on me. Cheated so cruelly. Who can one trust then? It beats me. What could’ve happened
to the suit? – Wait! I beg your pardon!
– Now what? What happened to the suit?
First case of spoilage in our firm. And the last one!
Your firm shuts down for good! Why didn’t you give me a 2-week
notice? Do you know the law? You! That’s all I need now! Hey, you, Don Juan – home-worker!
An abscess on society’s face! I can handle this myself. Bastard! Son of a bitch! – Did you call me? What’s wrong?
– And you ask? What have you done? What?! Jeez, what is this?! Get a load of my husband!
He’s a real scarecrow! – Hi!
– And you’re here, too? Your husband has really changed.
He’s kind of shrunk. But what do I got to do with it, huh? Vovik! For God’s sake!
Don’t worry, Vovik. Olga, I’m so sorry. – You spoilt the suit!
– Hasn’t Bochkin told you anything? What does Bochkin got to do with it?! Now it’ll turn out that Bochkin
was dry cleaning at home. Right, he was dry cleaning at home! And may you make such big money,
like he did! What a shame!
To shut down such a firm! Olya, did you hear that? Olya, we’ve made a big mistake! I guess we’ve let your true happiness
slip by. – Hi!
– Good day. Here are the tickets. To Dalnogorsk. Say ” good-bye” to each other.
And I’ll get the luggage in myself. The ticket. – I’ll be right back!
– Don’t get out without your coat! Yura, look after him, please,
he isn’t seriously-minded at all. And I’m even less seriously-minded. Why are you saying this? So that you won’t forget that
two absolutely light-minded guys, who must be always taken care of,
live in Dalnogorsk. I hope you got what I mean? Sure. And you know what? I’ll ask pensioners
and community activists in Dalnogorsk to take care of you. Great. Margarita lvanovna, what about you?
Where are you going? Hunting. – Is it far away or close by?
– Oh, it’s a long way from here, dear. – For long?
– For long, dear, for very long. And why? Leave me alone, okay?!
Better ask them. Come on. Follow us. – Bye!
– Goodbye, dear! Goodbye! – I’m coming! I’m coming!
– You got the ticket? – Here. The ticket.
– Okay. Here you are. Seat 15. Bye, Olya. Take care of yourself.
Say ” bye” to Chapa. – Hi, Olga Segreyevna.
– Hi, Yuri Nikolayevich. – Hi.
– Hi. I’m happy we’re
on the same train again. You can be on the same train, but
still go in the opposite directions. – Yura! Time!
– Excuse me. Come again. And sooner. Next time
I’ll take care of your life myself. “Going to far-off parts,
while we’re still young. “What’s the name of that station?
And how are those lands called? “Do you know how happy people are
when they meet “With the cape of desire,
with the vast field of dream? “What’s the name of that station?
And how are those lands called? “Going to far-off parts,
while I’m still young.” THE END
This musical reconstruction is based
on a manuscript by Dmitri Shostakovich… that is being kept
in the Glinka museum of Moscow. In 2004 the manuscript has been edited
and arranged for the film’s premier. The New Babylon drama in eight parts during the time of the Franco-Prussian war… and the Commune of 1871 Screenplay and direction:
Grigori Kosintsev, Leonid Trauberg Camera:
Andrei Moskvin Art direction:
Yevgeni Yenej Consultant:
A. Molok Assistant:
S. Bartenev Assistant director:
M. Yegorov Production studio Sovkino
Leningrad War! Death to the Prussians! Let their blood flow in Berlin! Let their blood flow! War! All tickets sold out! Death to the Prussians! War! The prices have gone up! the great warehouse ‘The New Babylon’ the manager
(David Gutman) Sale! the shop assistant
(Yelena Kuzmina) And for dessert… From the board…
(A. Kostrichkin) My dismissal? ‘The board of directors
invites you to the ball tonight.’ Sale! Sale! Sale! Sale! Let them bleed! Paris! My beloved Paris! We are all looking for love
(Sofiya Magarill) We are all looking for love I am looking for love, mademoiselle. A deputy
(A. Arnold) I was just saying to madame… that the government has agreed
to your appointment. Here’s to a cheerful Paris! To a sated Paris! To a carefree Paris! a reporter
(Sergei Gerasimov) People of Paris! The French army… has been defeated! Defeated! To Paris! To Paris! To Paris! To Paris! How about my appointment? Paris is under siege Cheerful… Carefree… Sated Paris. the National Guard of workers
defends the city If Paris falls,
the workers’ Guard will be destroyed! We need guns
to make sure Paris doesn’t fall! For the guns! in the workers’ quarter When Paris falls it won’t be the bourgeoisie
who will pay for the war… but the working class. the soldier
(Pyotr Sobolevsky) He has been begging. Take those boots off! As long as you don’t surrender
there won’t be any peace! I don’t need your bread! I’m off. Where will you go without your boots? There are placards
saying they have capitulated! They have capitulated! The Prussians
are taking away the workers’ guns! The Prussians and the bourgeoisie… are pointing the workers’ guns
on the workers! Let’s take the guns to our quarters! Why aren’t you coming? What do I care about your guns? I don’t want to fight anymore!
I want to return to my village! the morning of March 18th the workers’ Guard defends their guns preparations for the operetta’s premier preparations We are all looking for love All we need is the horses and we’re done! Faster! What are you doing here? What are you doing?
(Y. Zhejmo) Leave me in peace. It’s tough enough
when you’re hungry all day. Look at these men!
Look how beautiful they are! If only I were younger… Who are you serving? Finally! There’s no more milk! Please, take our guns away! Saddle the horses! Take your guns and shoot us! Shoot us! The people won’t let itself be disarmed! Shoot that rabble! What a disgrace, the operetta is a failure! To the town hall! To Versailles! We’ll start from there! To the town hall! Soldiers! After Versailles
you will be allowed to go home! Why don’t you appeal to the soldiers? To the town hall! To Versailles. Jean, please don’t go! Don’t go, Jean! Paris as it has been for hundreds of years this Paris is no more Why we enjoy our work more? We work for ourselves
and not for the owners. As decided by the Commune! We don’t work nights anymore. As decided by the Commune! Our children aren’t cannon fodder
for the rich anymore. As decided by the Commune! We aren’t evicted from our homes anymore. As decided by the Commune! As decided by our Commune! We have plenty of time.
We can solve everything. Paris lacks money,
weapons and ammunition. Can’t we just seize shops and banks? No, we won’t threaten anyone
who isn’t threatening us. in Versailles Why are you sad? Who did you leave behind? Soldiers! Thieves, prostitutes and murderers
have taken over Paris! I left my girl behind. She won’t survive over there. They take away your land and divide it. No violence.
We will solve everything peacefully. Friends! Let us sing the hymn
of a free France: the Marseillaise! Arise, children of the fatherland The day of glory has arrived Against us, tyranny Let blood flow! To Paris! the 49th day of battle The Commune has been
surrounded and cut off. The enemy has broken through! This sitting is over. Over? the new Babylon the bourgeoisie looks on
from a hill at Versailles Let their blood flow in Paris! French! You’re lying. We are not French! We are communards! Your deputies are done for. You want Paris? The old Paris? Never! the new Babylon Be the boss? Never! Sale! peace and order is restored in Paris peace and order Long live the Commune peace and order Our army has brought peace and order! I’m completely wet because of that rabble! Mademoiselle! And so you wanted to be the boss? I’ll show you who’s boss. I’ll show you. May tainted blood water our fields Where did they take the prisoners? The French soldier is tall and strong! He once conquered half the world. He will conquer the whole world. Where did they bring the prisoners? He will conquer the whole world. It’s prohibited to beg in cafés. the trial Next! Death! Death! Admit, you prostitute… that you led a wild life during the Commune. Take this shovel and dig a grave! Death! Mama! They shoot us as if we were arsons… Prostitutes… Murderers… We will meet again, Jean! We’re off to our Paris! We, the communards! Long live the Commune! Long live the Commune!
Gorky Film Studio Based on the stories by
Vasily SHUKSHIN Knyazev’s works Knyazev’s clothes Knyazev’s perpetual motion machine Spinoza
Knyazev Oh, hi, my friend! Give me a ruble till the year’s end! This day, dear
Nikolai Nikolayevich, will live in the children’s memory
for a long time. When they grow up and become adults, this day will remain for them
one of the most precious recollections from their childhood. Accepting such an expensive
thing as a color TV set, our boarding school
is getting much more than this valuable gift. You demonstrated to us a fine lesson
of kindness and disinterestedness. You, Nikolai Nikolayevich, is,
undoubtedly, a man of the future! Children, you’re looking at a living
example of a man of the future! And specially for you,
Nikolai Nikolayevich, Sasha Illarionov will sing
“The Sail I Whitening Alone” . At the piano is Lenochka Opalyova. The sail is whitening alone In blue obscurity of sea!.. What did it leave in country own? What does it want so far to see? The wind is strong, the mast is
creaking, The wave is playing with the wave… Alas! Not a fortune is it seeking… Sergey NIKONENKO Yekaterina VORONINA Galina POLSKIKH Leonid KURAVLYOV Yevgeny YEVSTIGNEYEV Leonid YARMOLNIK in a film HELL’S BELLS!.. He’s nuts.
Gave them a color TV set. Assembled it from old parts. And it worked
like a new one. As if he’s a rich man. Just to make an impression. He would’ve done better if he sold it
and bought himself decent clothes. He’s as poor as a church mouse. I was telling him, but he won’t
listen! Not expedient. God has blessed him with golden
hands and a featherbrain. And he neither drinks nor smokes. And what’s the use? I’d rather he drank
and was like everybody else. But he’s slaving away from morn
till night, and writing at nights. And making people laugh
at his stupidities. Why don’t you get him married
to yourself? It’s easier to say than to do.
He won’t even look in my direction. Getting him married…
I wouldn’t mind to. And my Vovik follows him like a tail:
“Uncle Kolia this, uncle Kolia that…” The sleeping fox
catches no chickens. Are you suggesting I invite
him to a dance floor? Why not? Leave Vovik with me, I’ll baby-sit. What’s so bad about it? Jerking with milksops.
You’ve got to be kidding! You can go to a restaurant.
Or for a walk in the woods. Or go to the park. They say the bikers are here,
racing in circles. I don’t know how to approach him. Do it through Vovik.
He can’t turn him down. He loves kids,
gives them color TVs. Make Vovik say, ” Mom is busy,
too much work at the post office.” And you meet them
all dressed up, with a hairdo. Well, ice cream, cakes,
this and that. You know,
the whole regimen. Oh, I don’t know. Uncle Kolia, what will
this thing be called? Perpetuum mobile.
Ever heard of it? No. Many have forgotten, have given up.
We call it a perpetual motion machine. I’ll get it into shape, push it with
my foot, and it will get going. See, they said friction would stop it,
it’s the laws of physics. And gave up on it. Impossible! What do you mean, impossible? And what
about the photon, the solar energy? It’s still a granny’s guess.
Impossible! What granny? Grandmother History,
an interesting granny, a cunning one. There was time when tuberculosis
was incurable. And now, six months –
and a man is as fit as a fiddle. Was it that granny who cured him? Not without her help. Today the medics are storming cancer. What cancer? A cruel tumor,
a very bad sore. And here comes a psychic
and begins treating it right and left. And it vanishes without a trace. In fact, they remove all kinds
of tumors with their hands. Come here.
Give me your hand. C’mon, hell’s bells,
put your hand here. Feel warm? Nah. – And now?
– Yes. – Yes what?
– I feel. – Feel what?
– Warm. You see?
And now? – Feel cold?
– Yes. There you go. And they say, impossible. Healer Knyazev Help! Quick!
Come here! Let’s go, uncle Kolia,
or the ponies are going to leave. Like an ice mountain emerging From the fog, the iceberg rose, And the tide carries it over Across the wide, boundless seas. How fortunate are those Who know the danger in the ocean, Who know the danger in the ocean
for a ship meeting an iceberg on the sea… What’s going on!
So much joy! An intelligently organized recreation.
Joy for people, benefit for the state. They’re saying goodbyes as though they go
on a round-the-world trip. Psychologically, this is
a round-the-world trip for them. Really?
So much joy! Such a joy! Nikolai Nikolayevich! I’ve been looking for you.
Is Vovik taking a ride? Yes, he went on
a round-the-world trip. And I got time off.
I can spend it with you. – Really?
– Yes. We had a party at the post
office, so I had to. So you’re here
and I can go? Why go away? It’s your day off. They brought a gorilla and show him.
It’s such a rarity. Let’s look together,
at the gorilla. – I’d rather be alone.
– Vovik and I won’t be in the way. We’d better not. I cooked borsht,
we could dine together. Thanks, Lyuba, but it’s not expedient.
Some other time. Not expedient. And five rubles for a hairdo,
is it expedient? Did man really
originate from the monkey? Do you doubt it?
It’s been proved. I’m used to putting
everything to doubt. From whom, then? From whom? Who knows?
The universe is infinite. Don’t you ever suppose
that we’re extraterrestrials? I don’t know about you, but I’m not. Idiots!
They drink beer at Buratino’s ! You damned alcoholic! Thank you. – Is it occupied here?
– No. Will you take half a glass? No. Why not?
You don’t drink? No, I don’t . Alright, then. So the problem of
free time has been solved. It’s that simple. – What’s simple?
– The problem of free time. What free time? They’re arguing about it,
and here everything’s clear. Who’s arguing? Arguing about how
to spend free time. And you know how – a glass in
the morning, and you’re free all day, Yes, yes. Been watching the beasts? Yeah, was passing by,
and thought why not go in? I remember when I was a kid… It must be expensive
to keep them here. How much does he gobble in a day? – Who?
– Say, a gorilla. Who knows? If it were unprofitable,
they wouldn’t keep them. There must be some interest, right? That’s right, but you’re
overlooking the process of cognition. Not all come because they have nothing
to do, they want to cognize something. Come on! What is there to cognize? A gorilla?
Some shit! I’ll go and report on you now. What? Are you surprised?
But I should have. All right, I drink two, you – one,
you owe me a pail. I drink three, you – one, then 3 pails.
Let’s get going. You’re spilling some. That’s it. You can’t drink. Two pails. Help! What is it? I wanted to ask you. I didn’t get it alright.
Were you really? What really? Going to snitch. No, of course I wasn’t . But I ought
to knock some sense into your head. Come on. Please. You see, I got nothing
against people drinking. But there is an intelligent
organization of people. Generally, this organization
is called the state. Imagine that everybody in
the state would begin drinking. I’m not doing it at working time,
only on my day off. That’s what we should talk about. What is it – the day off? Suppose we are
putting up some… say, we’re mounting
a complex steel construction… I’m an electrician. Suppose we’re laying down
a complicated circuit. On weekend we get drunk.
Then get sober. Work for a week.
Then get drunk again. You mean I’m an alcoholic or what? I mean that our state
gives us a day off, even two. And what for? First, that we would have
a good rest, and, second, that we wouldn’t have
fallen behind in our development. For example, you got a day off
and you don’t know what to do with it. You were passing by the Zoo –
shall I go in! And if you were passing by,
well, I don’t know… a pharmacy? Passing by a pharmacy. Shall I go in
and buy a purgative, right? You can’t drift with
the tide like a log, whichever way it washes me,
I don’t care. The state
affords us a free time, for us to cognize
something useful. Are we going to lush up
that moonshine forever? Enough, my dear, enough of
this lushing, enough is enough. The state is accelerating its pace. It’s not a cart anymore, it’s a liner. And we try to catch up with
this liner on foot, we keep bending down
and pouring it into a glass. What movement, what
acceleration are we talking about? Not a chance for us on that liner, with
our bloodshot eyes and throwing up… You bastard! You want to make a career
at my expense? Where do you work? At the repairs shop. He says
I’m throwing up all over. Occupation? – Was I talking about you?
– About whom, then? – I was developing an idea.
– Quiet. Can you keep silent? What’s your occupation? An electrician. You should work not as an electrician,
but as a sewage cleaner doing 2 shifts. Letting loose with his fists. You’ll come with the sergeant. And you’re fined 10 rubles. Leave the sugar here. There’re 12 kilos of it,
watch it doesn’t disappear. Yes? It’s open. Hello. May I introduce myself?
Nikolai Nikolayevich Knyazev. I’ve been observing your work twice. Hello. Sit down. – Thanks.
– Wait. Why are you scattering
your things around? – Have a seat.
– Thank you. And the room is not so good. Really? Well, it’s like this. I want to invite you to my place. – Why?
– To visit, to have tea. I live not far from here,
only 6 bus stops away. – Interested in new discoveries?
– No, not interested. Then just come. – Why?
– To visit, for God’s sake. What’s so strange about it? I’m not inviting you
for a threesome drink. What do you want? Shut up. Why do you get offended? I’m not offended. But, on the other
side, I don’t get it. I’m explaining: let’s go to my
place, and it’ll be the other side… I’m not going.
I don’t want any tea, you get it? Why not? Shall we step out? – Grisha.
– Shut up. – Let’s step out.
– Where? To the hall.
And you’ll explain what you want. – I can explain it here.
– Better there. Don’t think
I’m aiming at something. I just wanted to talk
to the new arrivals. Grisha, but you’re free. And I can’t , we’re leaving
tomorrow, I have to pack. I know you’re leaving,
that’s why I came. I’m sorry, I just wished for the best. Did it offend you
that I began to giggle? I’m just being shy,
you’re so famous. Well, alright.
Why not go? You go, and I’ll pack. Come on, you’ll see
how provincials live. Shut the door. You’re lying down anyway. What? Straight ahead. Grisha… Oh, God, Heavenly Mother… What’s it all about? What’s your patronymic? What do you want? Did you get scared or what? What do you want?
I don’t like those things. I’m inviting you for tea. My house is by the water,
I got a sister at home, and TV sets. A sister! You got a weird manner,
giggling all the time. To the left. My manner?
You noticed? A manner developed in
the contact with human stupidity. After beating your head against it,
you start giggling. At first you want to yell
and curse, then it gets funny. To the right. Brake it, we’re here! Have you heard
of Spinoza? Of whom? Spinoza. Oh, that… Sure… The composer. No, not a composer,
a thinker, a philosopher. Once Spinoza came
to some town. He settled down to live with some
people, sitting and writing all day. And those simple folks made fun of him – look, the man is doing
nothing but writing. What was Spinoza to do? Are you asking me? Yes, I’m asking.
What is the thinker to do? What to do?
The same thing as before – to think. And to write.
What? Write! Write! It’s easy for you to say it now,
300 years later. But he was only human,
those jokes were driving him mad. I should warn you,
my sister’s not very cordial. Don’t pay attention
to her displeasure. Perhaps I’d better not go? – And what did Spinoza do?
– What? More courage, artiste! Let them condemn us later, if,
historically, they’re more intelligent. I’m not scared, but I shouldn’t
have gone with you. Who knows.
Straight ahead, and then left. Oh, two of you all at once! The comrade is from the State Circus.
Fix us some tea, and we’ll talk. This way, comrade Kaigorodov. Excuse me. Watch your head here. Another victim. Don’t pay attention.
Come on in. – Why so many TV sets?
– I’m repairing them. Spinoza polished the glass, and I’m
soldering, earning my living. Fixing up this and that
for our citizens. Our workshop is too cramped,
so I have to do it at home. C’mon, sit down. I don’t like people standing. Perhaps we’ll even get tea
if her conscience wakes up. Take a seat,
I don’t like people standing. This is my work of many years. Reflections on the state. On what? I just need an hour
and a half of your time. Why are you standing?
Give me a rag. Please,
we don’t want any tea of yours! Just don’t be nervous,
I beg you, and no scenes! – All the ducks go in pairs…
– Now she’ll gad about all night. Having one of her fits. The state is
a very complex organism. To put it to use you have… It has to be comprehended as a whole. Not in these conditions, of course.
I ought to have built my own house. She’s waiting for me to get married.
Even picked a bride for me. That one. A serious woman, has
a nice boy, but all this… Here is, in fact,
my idea of a state. Here.
Chapter one. The outline of the structure
of an expedient state. The state is
a many-story building, with all floors having a phone link
and connected by a staircase. The floors are gradually tapering
until only one room is left on the top, where the control center is situated. The meaning of such a state
is as follows. Mobilize your imagination and we’ll string on phenomena
that we can’t feel. The Russian man likes
to feel everything with his hands. He’s not yet used to
thinking in categories. Do you get the sense of
what I’m reading about? Everything’s clear to you? Let’s picture that
huge building in a cross section, and the population as
the figures supporting the floors. Thus, the whole building
is supported by the figures. To change the picture, let’s assume
that some figures on floor X evaded their responsibilities
and stopped supporting the ceiling. The ceiling sagged in. The figures conscientiously supporting
their floor got an additional burden. The laws of fairness and
balance have been violated. The control center
receives an alarm signal. The controls send a query –
where does it sag? They call all the floors. People of goodwill
plus modern technology. It’s been established:
the sagging is on floor Y. From the control center… Are you serious? Meaning? Are you doing all this for serious? Goodbye. Why are you playing the fool? Did no one ever tell you this? I understand, the motorcycle
engine is an objective thing, you can also fantasize
some centrifugal force. But this is different.
Come with me. I’ve got half a bottle, we’ll
have a drink. Why should you sit here alone? Don’t get pissed off, don’t be like… Sorry, what’s your name? You didn’t tell me. I told you at the hotel.
Nikolai Nikolayevich. So, you’re Kolia.
And I’m Grisha. C’mon, let’s have a drink. Forget about that state.
They’ll sort it out without us. That’s what we all are saying. You didn’t even want to grasp
what it was all about. You should’ve listened to at least
two chapters, it’s just one notebook. What education have you got? Whatever I got, it’s all mine. Stop making people laugh. Goodbye. This one didn’t take too long. There was a military man whom
he was pulling the wool over all night. We’re not at counsel with
Kutizov in Fili! – Will you have supper?
– I’m working. Oh, you may write till you’re dead. – Nikolai Nikolayevich.
– I’m working. – Maybe it’s something important.
– Oh, you’re no better than him! Why not make him marry you,
then you would write together. Or he would read to you
and you would listen openmouthed. Why not? I would listen. Look, last summer
I saw in the theatre how one woman was netting a man. She pretended she fainted. He began running about and fussing,
and the woman was lying down. He tried everything – blowing on
her, sprinkling her, shaking her. And then she drew him to her! And he got stuck. – Did they get married?
– You bet! How did she draw him? Oh, God!
Don’t you know how to draw? I wince every time I remember it.
Don’t feel like drawing at all. When is your name day, Vera, Nadezhda,
Lyubov and their mother Sofia? In the fall. We’ll celebrate it next Wednesday. – Why?
– What do you mean, why? – What for?
– Why should we draw it out? He won’t understand anyway. And we two will sit and
drink a bit to brave ourselves up. Then I sort of go
and you will fall. – Fall where?
– Into a swoon. How am I going to fall? Just fall and lie like a log.
And I’ll be near, outside the window. And what then? And then, go on pretending.
He’ll run to you. And you do your act.
Moan or something like that. And when the real thing starts,
I’ll catch you in the act. What real thing? Oh God…
He won’t eat you, will he? Why do you have to catch us?
Can’t we settle it between ourselves? I see how you’ve been
settling it for three years now. You’re so slow-witted.
If I catch you, there’d be a witness. He won’t get away with it.
That’s what they showed in the theatre. No, I don’t know. What is it you don’t know? Maybe you shouldn’t catch us? If I shouldn’t , I wouldn’t . We’ll see
if I should or not. Excuse me… Could you tell me
where the marriage registry office is? It’s downtown,
six bus stops from here. Thank you. – Where do you need to go?
– To the marriage registry office. We’ll give you a lift. Come on, Josephine.
Careful, she’s very fragile. Good afternoon, Lyuba. Any letters for me
from the Academy of Sciences? No, Nikolai Nikolayevich. You could at least look. I look every day,
Nikolai Nikolayevich. If you want, I can look again
while you’re here. No, nothing for you.
Still writing. And from UNESCO? – From what?
– UNESCO. Nothing from there, either. – Goodbye.
– Nikolai Nikolayevich. The day after tomorrow is my name day. Congratulations. Maybe we’ll celebrate it together? In the evening. Maybe, I don’t know. I’m in a hurry now, sorry. Sergey Nikolayevich. – We got a complaint here.
– Another complaint? Another complaint. Do it yourself Today we have
a very interesting guest, Nikolai Nikolayevich Knyazev. He came to share with us his thoughts
about the organization of the state. Once I thought about
what would happen if we, like ants,
brought the maximum to the state? Just imagine the situation
when no one steals and no one drinks. A very important thought. – No one is loafing.
– Just great! No one gives and no one takes
bribes, no one profiteers. Everyone at his or her place
puts his or her little brick in this grandiose
building – the state. When I pondered over it and saw
in my mind’s eye all our expanses, itjust took my breath away. My goodness, I thought,
what are we doing? We could have covered with
asphalt the entire globe, dug the subway through
to Vladivostok, built a staircase up to the Moon. One global idea should
subordinate all the minor ones related to our
behavior and everyday life. Kolia Knyazev, pedal over here. – How are you?
– Hello. Take a look at our telly.
We turn it on – there’re some flakes. Whoever can compare
to Mathilda of mine, Whose pretty black eyes just sparkle
and shine… Just fine… Something must be wrong
with the aerial. Would you like to go fishing? We’re planning to,
with Yuri Viktorovich. I don’t like it. You don’t like fishing?
How come? Well, you know… – It’s just a waste of time.
– It’s a rest. What difference does it make what kind
of rest you’re wasting your time on? There’s an active rest
and a passive rest. The active rest means
some useful event. Those events make
your head reel as it is. I don’t mean those events,
I mean expedient ones. – Getting the difference?
– No, I’m not. Be so kind
and explain, please. What is your occupation? – What difference does it make?
– And anyway? A makeup artist. Are you aware
how burial mounds are made? What do mounds have to do with it? – You ever seen how they’re raised?
– Have you? You might have seen it in a movie?
Do you have a general idea? I want you
to recall in your mind’s eye the picture
of a mound being raised. People are walking one after another. Each takes a handful of
earth and throws it. First they fill up the pit, then a mound begins to grow. Have you visualized it? Note the disproportion between the
size of a mound and a handful of earth. A handful of earth is this small,
and on the other side, a big mound. Was it magic? No magic.
The accumulation of quantity. This was how the states were formed,
from Urartu to modern ones. What can
a weak human hand do? A fishing rod. The fishing rod is
also the work of human hands. In this case, it’s only one man. But when they continuously
walk one after another and throw a handful of earth each,
a hill is formed. A fishing rod and a hill.
Are you getting it? No, I’m not. What do one and
the other have in common? We were talking about
how to spend free time. I believe, I think that
whatever you’re doing, if you like it,
it means you had a good rest. Nonsense, rubbish, it’s reasoning
at the level of the Stone Age. The moment you begin
to reason that way, you’re leaving
the continuous chain of mankind that is accumulating quantity. I gave you such a graphic example –
how a mound is raised. Everybody threw a handful
of earth, and you didn’t . Then what’s the meaning of your life? It makes no sense. It’s really some rubbish.
What mound? I’m telling you,
I came here to have a rest. Close to nature, to the sea. I like fishing and I’ll fish. I came to have a rest, too. – Well?
– What? Did you come here
to raise a mound? If you don’t like thinking in
categories, then you don’t like anything. Such a graphic example! – What’s the meaning of our life?
– It depends on a person. No, answer me, what’s
the universal meaning of life? In universal statehood. If the state prospers,
we all prosper. – Am I right or not?
– Right. Figuratively speaking,
we all carry on our shoulders a certain burden. Suppose you, me,
the granddad here are carrying a log. We have to carry it over 100 meters. We’ve got over 50 meters, and
suddenly you say, ” I’m on leave.” You mean we don’t need leaves?
It’s nonsense, too. A leave is possible after we’ve carried
the log 100 meters and thrown it down. I don’t understand
what you’re meaning to say. First a mound, then a log.
Did you come here to rest? Yes, to rest. Or you came here
to throw a log on the road? Are you doing it on purpose,
refusing to understand? I really don’t understand it.
It’s some nonsense, some rubbish. A total gibberish.
It’s a total gibberish! It makes absolutely no sense.
Granddad, do you understand anything? Do you understand what he’s jabbering? I’m listening. It’s serious. Sure, serious.
But I can’t understand anything! Cool it. Why get so nervous? And why are you jabbering
some gibberish? You didn’t even get to the crux
of the matter. When are we going to learn
to reason logically? And what about you? If I don’t understand it, it means
it’s gibberish. A splendid logic! For how long are we going
to brush it aside like this? Well, let’s make it
clear, simple and precise. What do you want to say?
In plain Russian. – Where do you live?
– In Tomsk. No, more broadly, as a whole. I don’t understand,
in what whole, in what, where? You live in a state. With what do your
main interests coincide? – I don’t know.
– With the state interests. Your interests coincide
with the state interests. – Is it clear now?
– Well? – What’s the meaning of your life?
– Well? Well? Not ” well-well” ! What’s the meaning
of the life of each citizen? Well, I don’t know! Working, being honest, not betraying anyone, defending your country
if need be. That’s all true.
But it’s only offshoots. What’s the principal meaning?
Where’s the main stem, so to speak? – Where?
– I’m asking you! But I don’t know! Do with me whatever you like!
I don’t know! Are you stupid or what?
Fuck it!.. What do you want from me, huh? What do you want from me?
Or I’ll send you packing from here! What do you want from me? What?! Yura, calm down. Oh, holy God… In the blue sea and the ocean,
Each to his own merits, Making such a wild commotion
A band of evil spirits. Future prospects, that’s their worry,
That’s why all this brawl. Evil force would rage and scurry,
For years been having a ball. A pike in the sea,
water in the mortar, water in the sieve… Uncle Kolia, when
shall we launch the perpetuum mobile? – When I finish it tomorrow.
– All right. Water sprite waving his hands,
All dried up from speeches: Been reforming all our fiends,
Werewolves, devils and witches. Past are the years of stagnation,
Those were a great time, Now we robbers have to be patient,
It’s hard to commit a crime. A pike in the sea,
Water in the mortar, water in the sieve, There’s no other way for us
To muddle the bottom of the sea. Our Neptune gotjust insufferable,
Going against us all, He wants to make the quagmire arable
And clean the bay of gall. We’re bringing sabotage
To the very forefront, So that underwater gardens
Would never bear a plant. A pike in the sea,
Water in the mortar, water in the sieve… Hell’s bells!
So many loafers! If each of them broughtjust a handful… And to not overlook the morals,
Just in case anyone cares, We’ll call up mermaids as well
For amorous affairs. So, no hackwork, dear girls,
Don’t spare your tails. We got to attack all at once,
From all fronts and trails. A pike in the sea,
Water in the mortar, water in the sieve, There’s no other way for us
To muddle the bottom of the sea. I thought you were at home,
but you’re at work. What was it you had there? Because… everyone keeps telling me. What are they telling? Comrade Knyazev, I hate
to do it, but I have to… Why do you have to? You think
I don’t understand what I’ve done? Comrade Knyazev. To hell with them!
Let them live as they like. Thank you. Hell’s bells!
Did I say something wrong to him? I was suggesting that he would
see his objectives more clearly. He could make a speech at the club. Telling us about the actors.
Oh, God… He’s a makeup artist. But what do life objectives
have to do with it? He would have done a useful thing. That’s what I began with yesterday,
that people are filing, and each takes
a handful of earth and throws it. And a hill is formed.
The hill is an expedient state. If we assume that
the meaning of life of every man, figuratively speaking… No, no. No, comrade Knyazev. I got a meeting at 10,
a conference. I’ll be glad
to listen to you some other time. Eat it with bread. Don’t
choke on it, no one will take it away. Let me cut it, I’ll cut it. Uncle Kolia and I are going to launch
the perpetuum now, I mean, mobile. What? It’s a machine of perpetual motion. It works on its own.
And everybody’s happy, no crisis. What crisis? There’s an energy crisis now. But we’ll launch the perpetuum,
and there’ll be no crisis. I don’t understand what you’re
talking about. Mom, it’s all very simple. This is the Sun, and this is the Earth. No one spins them,
yet they’re rotating. And the solar system is rotating. And whole galaxies are rotating. You think you’re standing?
No, you’re rotating. As for me, I sure spin, like
a squirrel on a treadmill. – Where’re you going?
– To uncle Kolia’s . Isn’t this thing dangerous? – It may be dangerous.
– What if it blows up? Oh, I don’t know.
He’s wasted so much salt. Vovik explained to me that they’re
making a perpetual motion machine. He says they’ll put a monument to uncle
Kolia for this thing in his lifetime. They will.
They’ll catch him and put another. Vovik told me about the stars and the
Moon like he was reading from a book. He who lives with a cripple
learns how to limp. There’s nothing bad about it for Vovik. Once he starts to explain,
there’s no stopping him! When you get married to him, you’ll
be making a perpetual motion machine from morning till night and back. The day will be too short for you. Well, Vovik,
shall we start perpetual motion? Let’s start it, uncle Kolia. Well… The mankind’s centuries-old dream. There we go! Uncle Kolia, it’s going to stop. I admit I didn’t recognize you, You had changed, got so mature by far. Oh, how quietly I stood there When you sang for the boys to your
guitar. It was so long ago… So you didn’t leave? It’s hard to recognize you now. First the cars move the equipment.
We decided to stay and get a tan. What do the scientists think now
about the perpetual motion machine? What? About the perpetual motion machine. What machine? The perpetuum mobile
that they just couldn’t build. Who’s supposed to think? The academic world.
Have they given up on the idea? It seems they have. Wasn’t it too soon? What too soon? Dismissing the idea. Have you invented the perpetual
motion machine? Yes, I have. Congratulations. The man invented the perpetual
motion machine, and you… The water’s so cold. And what’s next? What’s next, I say? Meaning? You congratulated me, and what’s
next? Run to the store. – No, I’m serious.
– It’s just some bullshit. And if it’s not? You’re not Kulibin, are you? The world’s best scientists rack their
brains, and you – bang! – invented it. They brushed it away just like you. They didn’t brush it away, they proved
it’s impossible, you must know it. But it revolves. – What revolves?
– The wheel. It was revolving all night,
and is now. I got tired of watching it,
so I decided to take a walk. What wheel? The bike’s wheel. Right. It’s got a good bearing,
so it’s revolving. But not through the whole night. Uncle Kolia, let’s go and give it
another spin, maybe it’ll spin then? Uncle Kolia! I’m going to my workplace.
As though I forgot to turn in the keys. And you don’t lose your chance.
Most important is to be aggressive. Fall down and lie there. C’mon, to brave you up. He got no choice, he’ll come. – But why shall I fall?
– What do you mean, why? – Did I get poisoned or something?
– No, not poisoned. You got scared and fainted –
ah! and you’re lying down. – What did I get scared of?
– A mouse or something. Your head went round,
and you’re lying in a swoon. You’ve got mice? Oh, what do you care?
Just fall and lie. All right, I’m off. Lyuba, I’ll run to my work.
I forgot to leave my keys there. Don’t be lonely here. Fall! Fall! Lyuba, fall with a cry.
He can’t hear you. Got it? Lyuba, get up.
He can’t hear, cloth-ears. Take the vase with chocolates
and smash it to smithereens. And yell at the top of your voice,
or you won’t get through to him. Lyuba? Lyuba, are you all right? Lyuba? Klava. Klava, where’re you?
Klava! Klava! Damn it! Lyuba, what’s wrong? What happened, Lyuba? What is it? What happened? Lyuba? Are you all right? Is it your heart? What are you feeling? What? – Kiss me.
– What? What? Kiss me. Lyuba… Lyuba, it’s … Not expedient, Lyuba. That’s how gradually we learn our
dreams to subdue. The sailboat moves away into obscurity, Between us, more and more of
insincerity. My dear boy, it couldn’t be
really you? I so much believed your eyes, I so much believed your lies… Lyuba, how was it? It’s silly and ridiculous,
Oh, what the heck, it’s so obvious. No, I won’t even recall
How could I wait for it at all… Not expedient. That’s it. Lyuba. Don’t get in the way of studying!
Don’t get in the way of working! One-two, arm-in-arm,
Three-four, our ranks intact! If need be, we’ll sound alarm,
It’s the only way to act! Our pioneers’ salute
to patron Knyazev, for him we root! Beer, vodka and moonshine
Out of our planet, as any wine! Long live the science,
Long live the progress And the wise policy of our Party
and its press! Good afternoon, Lyuba. Good afternoon. See, I got 8 notebooks here.
I would like to send them. Should I put them in a box or..? I’d like to have a guarantee
that none of them gets lost. I guess I’d better send them
by a registered parcel? Nikolai Nikolayevich, dear. Let’s not be in a hurry with your
parcel. I know it’s none of
my business, Nikolai Nikolayevich. But listen to my advice,
wait a little bit. We can always do it. What if you change your mind? You fool!
You toad-eyed fool! Why are you sitting and croaking here? Can you at least spell the word
“statehood” correctly? You’ll spell it like ” stategood” ! Don’t you dare shouting at me! Sergey Nikolayevich! Sergey Nikolayevich,
come here! There’s some shit here
about stategood! – Sergey Nikolayevich!
– What’s the matter? Some shit about stategood! Come here,
let’s goggle together. Maybe at least you
got some brains in your bean? – What’s up?
– It’s all sewn up! – Away!
– What is it, you drunken lout? C’mon, get him! Let go! Tie him up! Give me his hand! Hurray! Our side has won!
Tie me, tie me up. He’s drunk. No, I’m not drunk.
You can’t pull it off! I just took the liberty of
sending my work by mail. Whose post office is this?
Yours? It’s my post office, you idiot! Oh, you toads! I wrote down my thoughts and by
accident dropped a stone in your bog. And what a croaking it has raised! I hope I didn’t catch against
your head, Sergey Nikolayevich? Go on, shout.
To the police. He’s absolutely off his rocker. Dimwits! They don’t like being
dimwits, that’s the problem, but then they like being
dimwits, they do! They’re leading Spinoza!
Have you ever seen Spinoza? Here I am, a Spinoza
in a hat and with a tie. Hello!
Hell’s bells! Well, I kicked up a racket, I did. But I’m not drunk.
I never drink. Did I insult anybody? What about Sergey Nikolayevich?
And this one, Lyuba, too? Take me to a hospital. I have a headache. You mean my calling them dimwits?
And what do you think they are? All right, let it be a hospital. Thank God the police was near,
or he would’ve said I don’t know what. – Well, what soberness conceals…
– …drunkenness… He doesn’t drink. I was born to a poor peasant
family, a ninth child. Giving me any education
was out of the question. As there was no upbringing.
We were brought up by labor. Open your eyes and sit down. Cross your legs. I myself broke through
those strata of life over my head. I displayed the signs of philosophical
consciousness since childhood. I remember a foreman yelling at me, and it made me wonder in some
while why he was yelling. I read a lot, though I got into
much trouble because of it. My father didn’t approve, he made me
work more, but I kept reading. Don’t move your head, please. Follow the hammer with your eyes. And the more I read, the more
troubled I became. I looked around me and I thought
about how much they had piled up. But there was no order. Get dressed. And so gradually I got preoccupied
with the thoughts about the state, and, with sadness and amazement,
I came to understand that we all were living
each to his own liking, and hardly anyone cared
for the state’s interests. And even if anybody shouts at every
street corner about its interests, he’s just pretending,
his self comes first, he just wants to look vanguard,
and thus steal more. Take sedatives. I saw how our state
was being squandered. Each does his best at his place. And still our state is alive.
What is it alive by? And I came to a conclusion –
by its structure. The structure of the state is such that even with the minimum
that we’re giving it, it is still capable of
strengthening itself by some way. But what if we, like ants,
brought the maximum to the state? An absolutely normal man. What happened, Knyazev? To hell with them.
I just exploded. I couldn’t stand
human stupidity any longer. I tell her one thing, and she –
let’s wait and think. She will think, that hen. But why insult her? She insulted me even more.
She thinks I’m an idiot. She hasn’t read a single line of this. She’s my sister’s friend, and my sister
says it’s bullshit, waste of time. But what’s it all about? My thoughts about the state.
I’ve been writing it for 7 years. Let’s not start it now… No, leave it, I’ll take a look. Take a look.
May I go now? You may, only you’ll have
to apologize to the post workers. All right, I’ll apologize. I’ll apologize. All right, go then.
I’ll return it later. – There’re 8 notebooks there.
– So what? In case something happens.
There’re eight of them. – All right, eight.
– I don’t want them to get lost. Nothing will get lost. You know… here… perhaps it is… Inventory of the life of Knyazev
Notes and drawings A cornflower field, And the grass a-little stings. I’m lying as though drunk, I forgot about all things. I’m lying, arms spread out, The wind bends the bushes down, And a melancholy willow Sings a sad song with a moan. Oh, you, my dear willow, What do you sing about my fate? Maybe I will know glory Orjust die before my date. In that song of yours so doleful I do not understand a bit. Itjust brings me more depression, Though there’s no lack of it. A cornflower field, And the grass a-little stings. I’m lying as though drunk, I forgot about all things. Look,
the farther a stick is from the shore, the longer it takes to throw it out. Yes, yes. Excuse me, sir, you reinvented
the wheel. – Why?
– It’s been known since long ago. During a storm, ships try to get
as far from the shore as possible. I didn’t mean the law as such. It’s just so like people. – Any Salem’s left?
– Here. The strongest go farther. As a result, we have a storm,
a storm in our everyday life. And the winner is the strongest,
the one who rows away farthest. It’s too clever. It’s too wrong
to be clever. Why? The point is how
to get the farthest from the shore. I’m not saying
“the strongest” . Perhaps it should be
“the most cunning” ? Help! Quick!
Come here! I meant another
strength, a real strength. What matters is the result. When we estimate
our strength correctly, we can clearly see what we have
to do to achieve our aim. Excuse me, what did you say? – It wasn’t I who said it.
– Who, then? – Benedict.
– Benedict? Spinoza. – But he was Boruch.
– Baruch. Baruch Spinoza. Excuse me, I didn’t get what he said. You’ll never get it. Oh, hell’s bells! Where’re you going?
You’ll catch cold. The water is 7° C., man. He’s sloshed. You’re going to catch cold! Must be a polar bear. I’ll bet he’s added 40°
to his own 36. A Siberian, they fear nothing. 76° degrees, for sure. Come on! I’m drowning! – Is he serious?
– Kidding. He’s drowning! Hey! Are you serious? Of course, he’s serious!
What the damn! Help him! Guys, why are you standing? – He’s going to drown.
– He’ll swallow a bit of water and… Holy shit! Hey, hold on! Why did he go in in the first place? He’s under me. I grabbed him by his shorts,
but he slipped out of them. – Where’s he?
– He was here. A boat. The boat! The boat! There he is. – He’s slipping away.
– Catch him. They got him. They got him! Boys! – Hold his head.
– I got it. Can you do mouth to mouth? Wait with mouth-to-mouth.
Shake him and get the water out. Oh, what’s this? Come on.
He gulped down chockfull of water! Is his mouth open? Hold him vertical. Enough, put him down. Lay him down. Boys, put his pants on. Pump him up. First put them on, then pump. You’d better run to the store. Or they’ll do us in,
those polar bears. I guess you’ll be awarded
a medal now, right? With no pants on, it doesn’t count. What do you mean, without pants
it doesn’t count? If a drowning person has no pants on,
it doesn’t count that you saved him. We have to get his pants,
then there will be a medal. Ira, come here, hold his head. Boys, put the pants on! Ira, we all got our pants. He seems to have gathered his wits. Are you back with us? Well, happy birthday, man! He looks quite alive. Just look at him making a run of it! And he didn’t even say thank you. Oh, boys! Greetings to Benedict Spinoza! Mom! Mom, uncle Kolia’s coming to see you!
He’s starting a new life. Lyuba. You see, I… I got totally free of those… ideas that… for a long time… Well, that’s not the point. The point is that
I’m proposing to you. I love you. And I don’t love you. Well, think about it, Lyuba. This is for you. And something else. Please forgive me if you can. Well, for what was today
at the post office. I’m very sorry. Uncle Kolia, mom is saying ‘yes’.
She was just kidding. I’ve invented a new machine, Vovik. – Perpetual?
– No. Not perpetual, but very powerful. It’s powerful, but it’s
the size of a matchbox. The principle of its construction
is very simple. We’ll talk about it later, uncle Kolia.
It’s high time for you to get married. My mom is the best. Let’s go. It’s time, Vovik, it’s time. Come on! Written and directed by
Sergey NIKONENKO Director of Photography
Nikolai PUCHKOV Production Designer
Yuri KONSTANTINOV Music from L. Minkus’ ballet
“Don Quixote” English Subtitles by
T. Kameneva The End
CHAPAYEV Based upon documents of
D.A. Furmanov and A.N. Furmanova Written and directed by
the Vassiliev Brothers Co-director
Yuri Muzykant Photography by
A. Sigayev and A. Ksenofontov Sound Engineer – Bekker
Music by Gavriil Popov Consultants: I.S. Kutyakov,
D.M. Kovalyov and A.I. Furmanova Chapayev – Boris Babochkin
Furmanov – Boris Blinov Anna – Varvara Myasnikova
Pet’ka – Leonid Kmit Colonel Borozdin – I.N. Pevtsov
Cossack – S. Shkurat Yelan-V.Volkov, Zhikharev-N.Simonov
Peasant – B. Chirkov A Lenfilm Production, 1934 – Hold it! Where’re you going?
– The Czechs’ve taken the farmstead. – The Czechs? Where’s your rifle?
– Back there. – Where’s your rifle?
-Vassily Ivanovich, Comrade Commander, I’ve lost it in the river when
we fled the farmstead. – Find it. And where’s your machine-gun,
Pastukhov? I’ve hidden it by the river,
right on the bank. Thank you for the farmstead, fighters. As for your rifles, I’ll personally
check up on all of you tonight. Fall out! – My name’s Furmanov. Appointed
a commissar to your division. – I know. That’s the weavers, our volunteers. So you’re here? Yes, we’re here. Are you a machine-gunner? Can be a machine-gunner too. Why? You’re just in time. We’ve got
an order from Mikhail Frunze: tomorrow we’re assuming the offensive. What are they doing there? Taking a swim. It’s too hot. Quiet, folks! Chapay needs to think. Pugachev’s regiment attacks at mid-
night… Razin’s stays in the reserve. So, by 9 a.m. we’ll take
the village of Lomikhinskaya. – What d’ye think, Yelan? – I think
a blow on the right flank is better. And what does the Commissar think? I think… My opinion is… The Commander’s already taken
the decision and I think it’s right. Everything you said here is to be
spit on and forgotten. Now listen to my command:
we attack on both flanks. Cross the river only by the bridge.
It will hold. I’ve checked it. We begin attacking at 5 a.m. sharp.
And we’ll go by way… The village has been taken. – Wounded? – I am, Vassily Ivanovich.
– Stupid. You’re the only brigade commander,
my military deputy. You have no right to expose yourself
to stupid bullets. – The bullet doesn’t think who’s
commander and who… – It doesn’t, but you must think.
Haven’t you got brains? Come here. For example, a detachment
is on the march. Where’s the commander supposed to be?
At the head, on his dashing horse. The enemy showed up
and opened cannon fire. Where’s the commander supposed to be?
He can be at the head again, because they wouldn’t fire
from cannons at one man. Now the enemy opened gunfire.
Where’s the commander supposed to be? Suppose they have 10 machine-guns
here, and two here. Where? – Where The ten are.
– The ten… Can’t you think? It’s easier to kill you where the ten
are. So you must be where the two are. Otherwise, without a commander,
it’ll be the end of his men too. Now the enemy is attacking.
Where’s the commander supposed to be? – At the head. – He must go
to the rear of his detachment and watch the whole scene of
the battle from some vantage point. Otherwise his detachment’s flanks
may be turned. Now, thanks to the decisive actions
of the detachment and its commander, the enemy’s been beaten off
and made to flee. Our detachment is harrying the enemy
that retreats in panic. Where’s the commander supposed to be?
At the head again, on his horse. He has to be the first to burst into
town on his enemy’s shoulders. Use your brains! You’re such a liar, Vassily Ivanovich.
If need be, you’re always at the head. Well, if need be. This is called “back plate”. And this is called “cheeks”. And what’s that called?
Back plate… Cheeks… Smart guy. – Don’t you understand jokes? – You
– are all buggers. The Chapayev men… You’re heroes only with women. Cut it out about heroes. Wait till I sneak to the Whites
and bring back a prisoner who’ll talk. I bet I will… We have to see about a prisoner yet.
Whether you bring him or not. You think I’m going to leave?
Forget it. Teach me the machine-gun, you devil. This is called “cheeks”. Cheeks! I swear it’s cheeks. On the German front, I had the honor
of fighting General von Ludendorf, and here, who the hell it is?
Chapayev! They say he was a sergeant. There’s nothing to laugh at,
Lieutenant. Chapayev is a serious adversary. He and his fame are equally dangerous. Petrovich! – Bring in The mail, please.
– Yes, Sergey Nikolayevich. Don’t you think, Colonel, that your
relations with your orderly are too… You mean, patriarchal? Not at all. They’re quite up-to-date. Times change – relations change.
Too bad you don’t understand it. When you attack, you look back for
fear of getting a bullet from behind. – We all should look back.
– I never do. Petrovich’s been with me since 1914,
he’s gone through all fronts with me. – He’s mad at us.
– He promises to shoot us. – Who promises? Why?
– Chapayev. Both of us. What for? A fellow-villager has come to Chapayev,
he was a horse-doctor there. – So Chapayev asked us…
– He demanded! Yes, he demanded that we put this
horse-quack to a test for a doctor. I say: no veterinarian can test
a horse-quack for a doctor. – Chapayev got mad, called us names.
– Called us sobs. – We know you, he says, you…
– …son-of-a-bitches… You would never let any muzhik
become a doctor. – Test him, he says, right now!
– And give him a document. And make that document according to
form, or there’re 7 bullets in my gun and I’m ready to spoil two of them
on you! Aha, you’re here, my dears!
Complaining! You scoundrels! Enema injectors! Forward march! So you’re with them?
Routing for the rotten intelligentsia? – They can’t do it…
– And I say they can! They must! Why won’t you let a single muzhik
be promoted to a doctor? Test him at once and give him
a document according to form! You see, they can’t do it.
They don’t have a right to. Especially to give him a document. How you dare mocking at Chapayev?!
I’ll kill you, bastard! Alexander the Great was a great
military commander, too. But why break stools? Alexander the Great?
Military commander? Who is he? Why don’t I know him? I know all military commanders:
Garibaldi, Napoleon, Suvorov, but this one… Alexander… the Great?
Who is he? Why don’t I know him? Not many people know him.
He lived two thousand years ago. But you know him, so I must know him
too. It’s only two years
since I’ve learned to read. Come on, Commissar, tell me
about this Alexander the Great. Tell you? Very well. I’m a sailor, very trim and handsome,
I’m only twenty years old. Listen, sailor very trim and handsome. I’ve been meaning to tell you.
You should make yourself more trim. You always look so slovenly. You’re a regular Red Army commander,
you must set an example for your men. You mean your Alexander the Great
did his fighting in white gloves? – He didn’t look like a tramp. – How
d’ye know what was 2,000 years ago? Lenin rightly said that a strong home
front determines the final victory. And in our General Headquarters,
instead of strengthening this front, they’re still diligently counting
their chickens before they hatch. To revive Russia… Report. Cossack Dmitry Potapov was
arrested when trying to desert. Yes, that’s my signature. I can’t do
anything about it. Discipline. Besides, we have a HQ directive
about deserters. An order is an order. – Wait a minute. This Potapov is
your kin? – My brother. Why didn’t you say it… To subject to execution. Chapayev’s division was pushing
forward… There’s unrest in the village.
The 3rd Platoon men are marauding. Go find platoon commander Zhikharev
and bring him here. You monsters! We’ve been waiting
for you, and you’re taking our last? – That’s the Soviet power for you.
– Hush, grandma. At wartime, even a piglet
is a godsend. You long-legged tyrant, damn you! What’s going on, damn it! Some merry-go-round. The Whites
rob us, the Reds rob us. What is a peasant to do? They come here, and we shout:
“Hurray! Hurray!” Damn them! Are they your boys plundering
in the village? Did you let them to? Me? I don’t know nothing about it. Do you realize what it means? All right, we’ll talk tomorrow.
And now you’re under arrest. Who’s under arrest? Me?
A war commander? This is not something to toy with.
Stupid. Arrest him. Wait. First issue an order,
so that everything be returned. – Where’s Zhikharev?
– He’s here, under arrest. – You know Zhikharev’s my comrade-in-
arms? – I know. – And you arrest him? How dare you? You red-tape worm! – And do you know that he allowed…
– Never mind what he allowed! What he allowed, only I can forbid!
You get it? No, Comrade Division Commander! Who’s heading the division?
You or I? You… and I. I’m Chapayev! Do you understand
that I’m Chapayev? And you? Who are you?
Who sent you here? Want to have a free ride on my fame?
Get the hell out of my division! I don’t need your fame. As for recalling me from the division,
only the Party that sent me can do it. You’re a Communist too,
so you must know that. Comrades, citizens, Red Army men,
who is Chapay among you? – I am.
– Aren’t you lying? No, I am not. I’m him. Then I’m here to see you. Thank you very much. Your boys have
returned everything, to the last thing. Otherwise it was some merry-go-round:
The Whites came and robbed us. The Reds came and started robbing too.
What is a peasant to do? So thank you again, from all our
community. Commissar, call up a meeting,
I’ll be speaking. Vassily Ivanovich, the Commissar
seems to be a… – And I thought he’s a…
– You thought… They wouldn’t send some nobody
to Chapayev. What’s going on, comrades? Such a disgrace for our division!
The entire Red Army’s been smeared! Who are you robbing? You’re
robbing your brother, the peasant! We’re sacrificing our lives for that
peasant and for the worker. ‘Gainst ‘xploitation,
‘gainst all sort of capital! Is that what the Chapayev men famous
for? Are we some bandits? So watch out, heroes! I’ll shoot
everyone who’ll be caught plundering. With this hand of mine,
I’ll shoot the bastard! And if I’m caught, go ahead
and shoot me! I’m your commander only in action.
When at ease, I’m your comrade. Come to see me at midnight and later.
If I’m drinking tea, join me. If I’m having dinner, help yourself.
That’s a commander I am. Am I right? Right! I weren’t taught in academies.
I ain’t finished any. Vassily Ivanovich, men are wondering.
Are you a Bolshevik or a Communist? What? Tell me, are you for the Bolsheviks
or for the Communists? I’m for the International. – Which one, Second or Third?
– What second? – The International. – I’m for the right one.
– So Which one? – Lenin was in which one? – The Third.
He founded it, the Third Bolshevistic. Then I’m for the Third International,
too. That’s it. And even ahead of time. Good for you, Anka. You excelled
in technology. So much for the studies, Anka. Now you’re buddies with
the Maxim gun. Remember what you said about
being heroes with women?.. I’m going to pay a visit to the Whites. Chapay and the commissar sent me on
an important mission to get a prisoner. – Can you?
– I can do anything. Don’t even try it! I’ve taken out the
charges. Drop the gun and no tricks! Have you got many perches? Craving
for fish soup? Some bungler. – It’s for Mit’ka… – For whom?
– For Mit’ka… My brother. He’s dying… he wants
fish soup. -Is he wounded or what?
– No. Lashed with ramrods. With ramrods? And you serve them
after that? Mit’ka’s dying… He wants fish soup… Please let me go. – And you let him go?
– I did, Vassily Ivanovich. – But I’ve got his gun. You scatter-brain! Under tribunal,
you loafer! Yes, under tribunal. And you should make yourself more
trim. You always look so slovenly. What is it? You’re a soldier of the
regular Red Army, my orderly. You’re supposed to set an example,
and you walk about like a tramp. Well, as I said, under tribunal! Mit’ka’s died. My brother is dead. Vassily Ivanovich was a peasant too.
Then worked as a carpenter in Balakov. And now he’s a military commander,
and what a brilliant commander! Frunze wanted to give him an army.
You and I, says he… – Vassily Ivanovich turned him down.
– Who is it? – Why? let him answer first.
– Never mind. I missed anyway. It’s good that you’re not sleeping.
But you shouldn’t fire aimlessly. But as long as you fire,
be a good shot. – Everything is quiet?
– Quiet, Comrade Commissar. Hands up! – A scout? – No. I’ve come to you.
Your boy caught me and let me go. Now I’ve come on my own will. So you’re Pet’ka’s White. Your gun. – So The offensive is planned for
tomorrow? – Yes, sir. – You say, The officer units?
Kappelev’s? – Yes, sir. They devised some attack at the
headquarters, a psychic one… Pet’ka, take him to the quartermaster.
Keep him in the kitchen for awhile. Come on, big guy, they almost sent me
under tribunal on your account. What does the commissar think? They want to stop us
by the counter-offensive, so they’re forming a striking force. And what does the commander think? Don’t worry, we’ll meet them. I’m going to the political department,
to have a talk with the communists. A psychic one? Well, what the heck, let it be
the psychic one. Hey, black raven, hey, black raven, Why you circling over me? I shall never be your booty… – So we’re taking a battle?
– We are. Why aren’t you sleeping? So that you wouldn’t say that everyone
was sleeping and you fought alone. – Did you sleep, Vassily Ivanovich?
– I did. Go to sleep, I said! – Was it the night before? – Are you
some inspector? A Sleep Commissar? I shall never be your booty,
I’m not the prey of yours. Yeah, we don’t have enough ammunition. Nor enough men. You know, you’re too awesome a man
for my understanding. I’d say you’re like Napoleon! Even more, Pet’ka, even more.
Napoleon had it easier. There were no machine-guns or air
planes then. It was no big deal. The other day they’ve sent me an air
plane, too. It eats so much fuel, you’d never get
enough. – Vassily Ivanovich, can you command
an army? – I can. – How about a front?
– I can, Pet’ka, I can. – And the Republic’s armed forces?
– If they teach me a bit, I can. Can you cope it on a world scale? No, I can’t. I don’t know foreign
languages. Will you go to sleep,
you pain in the neck? – They attack in 30 minutes. Everyone
at their places? – Captain’s not here. I’ll shoot that bastard, Zhukov. – Pet’ka, rush to the squadron!
– Yes! Have we got enough cartridges? If the battle is fierce,
we’ll be out of them in half a hour. Come on, cook, take it! – Mutiny in the squadron! They killed
the commander. – What? Zhukov killed? – Take along some men.
– No! I’ll manage alone. Quiet! Don’t listen to the enemy. What
are we going to win by taking our own? There’re lots of masters around.
We must kill all the masters! You can go, but don’t make us go. Enough, we’ve had our share of
fighting. Let others fight now. Why should we leave our homes? Right! We won’t go. No! We’ve had
enough. Let’s go home, men! Line up! Attention! The country’s best sons are giving
their lives for the cause of Revolution. And you… Only spilling your blood will atone
for your guilt! I will myself go at the head! Who fired? Who fired? We’ve finished one here ourselves. Mount horses! – Tell me, What do men Go to their
death for? – What for? It’s simple: for their life.
Everybody wants a good life. – That’s Kappelev’s officer regiment.
– Where’s Chapay? Hold on, Anka. I’m dying.
The cartridges… – They’re marching beautifully.
– Aristocrats. Shoot, bastard, shoot! They’ve sold us out, men.
We’re done for. Come back! Stop! Cowards, abandoning your
comrades! Forward! – Why did you stop? Why the delay?
– Go to hell… Cossacks! At the Kappelev Regiment HQ… God’s with us! Reds cowardly flee!
The Chapay men crushed like fleas! Swell drawing! Son-of-a-bitches! But the verse is no good. No, Pet’ka, put it somewhere and
keep it. – Did you call me, Vassily Ivanovich?
– Yes, I did. What’s the matter, Madame? You should
have fired. Did your gun getjammed? – No, it didn’t.
– Why didn’t you fire then? – I was waiting. – Waiting for what?
– Waiting when they get closer. Look at her… What a girl! You fire very well. Good for you! Pet’ka, give it here. That’s for you, as a keepsake.
Sit down and have some tea. Autumn Father wouldn’t believe his son That there’s such thing as love. A funny story. The son took a saber, very sharp, And he stabbed himself dead. A funny story. Yes, a very funny story. Due to an emergency, I insist on
Furmanov’s immediate departure. He is to be succeeded by Sedov.
Frunze. That’s it, Vassily Ivanovich. – They hurt me by this.
– They have other fronts to think of. If it wasn’t Frunze, I’d never… This is your new commissar.
You know him very well. The disposition of the Red forces is:
HQ and Political Dept. in Lbishchensk, the division’s main forces under
Yelan’s command are in Sakharnaya. As you see, the HQ remains isolated,
and can be reached by the steppe. This is our only chance
to do away with Chapayev. Yes, this is our last chance
to annihilate Chapayev and hold Lbishchensk.
There’s no other way. We need a brave, determined officer
to head this operation. – To whom do you plan to entrust it?
– I would be happy if… – You entrusted me with this operation.
– I could hope for nothing better. I put the fate of our front in your
hands. By the way, the Allied Command
valued Chapayev’s head at 20,000. The Allied Command could afford
to give even more. Behind him is the city of Guriev,
and Guriev has oil. The storm was rolling, raining hard, The thunder roared, holding grip, A lightning sparkled like a dart, The tempest rolling in the deep. The night is pitch-black, we should
double the guards. The Cossack tribe beat it as far as
Guriev. – They won’t dare to come near me.
– Look, Vassily Ivanovich. All right, tell them to put up
additionalposts. – How lucky you are! – What?
– I say you and Pet’ka are so lucky! – You’re young, with your whole life
to live. – You’re not old yourself. Old or not, but I’m not like your
Pet’ka. You’ll get married, you’ll work
together. The war will be over, you’ll have
a beautiful life. Do you know what life will be like?
You’ll never wish to die. No one wants to die.
But our struggle is such that we can’t spare our lives.
Either we win, or they win. No, we win. Why did you stop singing? Come on… Well, will I make a good performer? Everything is quiet. The road is clear. Stop! Where are you going? Down! Let’s run to the guns! Sakharnaya! Sakharnaya! – They cut it, bastards! – Ride to
Sakharnaya, to Yelan! Both of you! Go on, I say! I can’t leave him! And you go! Goodbye! – It’s you?
– Me. – That’s it! We have to retreat.
– Chapayev never retreats. Chapayev is wounded. Take him
over the river! Go ahead, swim. I can manage myself. No, you won’t get me! Forward! Fire! The End
Gorky Film Studio TEENS IN THE UNIVERSE Screenplay by
A. ZAK, I. KUZNETSOV Directed by
Richard VIKTOROV Director of Photography
Andrei KIRILLOV Production Designer
Konstantin ZAGORSKY Music by
V. CHERNYSHYOV English Subtitles by
T. Kameneva Cast: Sereda – Misha YERSHOV
Kozelkov – Sasha GRIGORYEV Kopanygin – Volodya SAVIN
Lobanov – Volodya BASOV Kuteishchikova – Olya BITYUKOVA
Sorokina – Nadya OVCHAROVA Panfyorova – Ira POPOVA
Agapit – Dima LEDOGOROV A.S.A. –
lnnokenty SMOKTUNOVSKY Extraterrestrial – Igor LEDOGOROV
Academician Filatov – Lev DUROV This is my place, move over. Mishka’s taken my place. What’s this row?
Mind your table manners. C’mon, sit down, sit down. We’ve gathered here today to mark the fortieth birthday of our Pavlik, who 27 years ago flew off to the far-off Cassiopeia
constellation. Each year,
we gather at this table. We’re doing our best
to keep everything here as it was when
our Pavlik lived in this room. Though now he is already
Pavel Kondratyevich Kozelkov. The briefcase, with which
P.K. Kozelkov loved to go to school The nails P.K. Kozelkov
loved to hammer in Visitors’ Book Let’s drink to good luck, so that it should always
accompany our Pavlik in everything. Who are you? Please excuse
my sudden intrusion, but I deemed it my duty
to congratulate your family with the birthday
of Pavel Kondratyevich Kozelkov, the first pilot of ”Dawn”. Excuse me, but who are you? Well, I know who he is. How should I explain it… I’m performing special
duties in this whole story. Listen, pal… – I’m, you know, A.S.A.
– What? Acting specially as.
A.S.A. In my line of duty, I was closely
connected to the crew of ”Dawn” and, particularly, to your son,
dear Antonina… Don’t be shy. You see, I’m tangible, quite
material, so everything’s all right. Dear Antonina Alekseyevna
and Kondraty Panteleimonovich. Why are you having 40 candles here? Pavlik was 13 when he flew away. It was 27 years ago.
27 plus 13… What a childishly naive conclusion.
Come on, count them. 1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. 1 1 , 12, 13… 14. 14. 14! Just 14,
dear Irina Kondratyevna. – Einstein’s paradox.
– What? – Einstein’s paradox.
– So what? While here, on Earth, 27 years pass,
less than a year passes over there. Einstein’s paradox. What does he have to do with it? Mikhail Kondratyevich is absolutely
right, it’s Einstein’s paradox. May I remind you
that it was the idea of the expedition’s head,
Viktor Danilovich Sereda, to form the crew
of teenagers no older than 14, so that they could
reach Cassiopeia in the prime of their life,
about 40 years old. But an incredible thing happened. The ship broke
through the hyperspace and reached its destination 27 years
earlier than the calculated… – Time!
– Absolutely right. There’s nothing we can do about
the paradox, we’ve been hearing about it
since Pavlik left. But I just cannot believe
that Pavlik is younger than Misha,
who was only 3 then. Oh, women! Nevertheless,
my dear Antonina Alekseyevna, today, there or over there,
in the depths of space, your son has
turned just… – Forty.
– Fourteen! A paradox. Too many temptations. How about a picnic amid nature? A birthday in our
own simulated nature. We’ll sunbathe, we’ll sing,
we’ll fix a barbecue. We need something more ceremonial. After all, it’s the first
birthday on the ship. At least, in some room. Guys, let’s do it
in his flat, like on Earth. – Well, it’s not a bad idea.
– Great! Let’s simulate Pavel’s flat. Don’t forget about a samovar
and a white cat. – Write it down.
– I already did. And I’ve got something here
for the sound effects. – Three… four.
– Please! Mom, will we have compote today? Yes, Misha dear. – What about jelly?
– We’ll have jelly tomorrow. And ice cream? No ice cream,
you all got sore throats. Children, who took my magazine? I’m sure it’s Pashka.
And he’s late for dinner as usual. Where’s Pavlik? I’m here, Mom, Dad! Help me slice the bread and put the plates on the table. Those Pashka’s nails
are all over the table again. Fedya, I’m sorry
you have to do it. Happy birthday! Sorry, we wanted to please you. lt was a stupid joke. But take it easy,
you’re a grownup man now. – No, not grownup.
– Yes, grownup. If you’d stayed on Earth,
you would have been 40 already. Old man. We must swear right now that we’ll never play
such jokes on one another, that we’ll never remind
each other of home, our home on Earth, so that we never felt
such an excruciating nostalgia, so that memories
never weakened our will. I swear. I swear. I swear not to remember. I swear. I swear. – I swear.
– But it’s impossible! Impossible not to remember the Earth,
your home, your family. Those are the dearest things we got. Childhood will remain here forever,
on the planet we’re heading for. As the ship commander,
on behalf of the earthmen, I exempt you
from this oath for tonight. – Intimacy is welcome.
– Anything for the crew. Come on, ”The night is gone”. The night is gone, as the pain is gone, Earth is asleep, yes, let her rest. The Earth has to go a way as long As life, as we have to go in our quest. I’ll take along this big world, Every day, every hour that has passed. Should l forget something, The stars may not accept us. Should I forget something, The stars may not accept us. I’ll take the memory of fields wide
and far, I’ll swim in the ripe, thick hay. And there, far off, by the blue star, The Earth’s Sun will light my way. I’ll take along this big world, Every day, every hour that has passed. Should I forget something, The stars may not accept us. Should I forget something, The stars may not accept us. Twenty seven years ago,
the spaceship ”Dawn”, which is a Russian acronym of ”annihilator relativistic
nuclear starship”, took off from Earth towards
Alpha Star in Cassiopeia Constellation, also known as Schedar. As you know, after the ship left
the Solar system, we lost all communication with it. For 27 years, all our efforts to locate the ship
and contact it have been in vain. However, last night,
at 18:57, we succeeded in
not only locating the ship, but even having a direct
television hook-up with them. All the members of the expedition
are in good health, the ship’s systems
are in working order. The starship is
approaching Schedar, that is, the target of its flight. What 27 years ago
was just a tentative hypothesis, is beyond
any doubt today. The Schedar star’s system has a planet inhabited by intelligent creatures. Moreover,
our laboratory has deciphered the signals
coming from that planet. There has been a catastrophe there that threatens
to destroy civilization. What has happened is not clear. But the thinking creatures
are in danger from someone. Children’s magazine ”Pif”. I would like to know when you’ll have
another connection with the starship. I cannot answer that question. We have waited 27 years
for today’s connection. There it is, Alpha in Cassiopeia. The signals come from the second
planet of the Alpha system. Apparently, these are the signals of
the disaster the Earth had anticipated. Here is the planet. It looks so much
like our Earth. What do you think, guys,
where our Earth can be now? I didn’t ask about my home,
I just asked about Earth. That’s the same. Just approximately,
where is it now? – We can’t even see the Sun from here.
– Approximately. Approximately, over there. But given the curvature
of space, it’s there. Or there. Stop fooling. We’re entering the sphere
of planetary gravitation. What awaits us on this planet? If only we could know who’s sending
the signals. We thought we’d arrive
here already as grownups. Why getting in the dumps? The sooner
we arrive, the sooner we leave. – Wise man.
– Aristotle. Alright, let’s get serious.
All go to your work places. Fix the parameters of circular orbit,
with account of atmospheric density. Check the manual controls. Is it so difficult to choose those
three? It is. I hope you understand that I have
to fly under any circumstances? I understand. Sereda, I hope you understand
that in any case I must fly with
the first reconnaissance capsule? Why you? Vitya, I’m an exobiologist. Should there be an encounter
with intelligent creatures, I must meet them first. Yes, I guess you’re right. Thanks. Switch off, Lob,
Vitya’s still thinking. Vitya, I hope you understand
that in any case I have to fly. Why? You ask, we answer. I’m the only specialist
in extraterrestrial civilizations. Who can tell
a pulsating homunculus from a twinkling octosaur? Secondly, I invented a unique
glue, and my resourcefulness… Block him. Vitya, we hope you understand… Alright, go. I have
to think it all over again. – Yes, Commander.
– Don’t consult with the computer. He is at bad terms with it. You should look beautiful
when you step onto an alien planet. You’re so lucky.
I didn’t think Vitya would send you. – Anyone but you.
– Why not? You know
how he feels about you. When we were in the 4th grade,
he stole your photo. I gave it to him.
And not in the 4th, but in the 5th. All right, he didn’t steal it. Julia’s right, you’re lucky. If Misha looked at me
the way Vitya looks at you, I would have died from happiness. I prefer people
who give no sign of what’s going on inside them. Because you’re too secretive yourself. But one can’t hide anything
from me, I’ve got eyeglasses. All right, girls, we’re not on Earth. On Earth or not on Earth,
I cannot hide anything. All is written on my face,
and he can see it. But he looks only at you. Guns are in pockets behind your seats. Thanks.
Kuteishchikova is late even now. She’s coming. – Well, good luck.
– Goodbye. Goodbye. – I’ll call her Varyana.
– Who? – That planet.
– Why Varyana? Varya. Varyana.
You’ll be the first to step on it. I won’t be alone to step on it. Well, call it whatever
you like, even Juliana. I don’t care.
Goodbye. Goodbye. Pasha, we’ll be on line all the time. Goodbye.
Let’s go. – How are you?
– Everything’s great. Good luck! You’re leaving the zone of visibility.
We’ll contact you in 55 minutes. – What’s this?
– Some kind of top toys. We’re observing a rare case
of spindle-like civilization. These structures indicate that the planet was inhabited by the 6-
legged, 8-winged dragonfly creatures. There’s nothing funny about it. Why are you so quiet? You’re
the first humans on this planet. Man has never set foot in this place! We’re the first here! – You’ve spoiled it again.
– Why me? What a strange echo. Let’s call this planet Echo. – Sounds good.
– Echo! Echo! Vitya has called this planet Varyana. Well, let it be Varyana. And what’s this? Obviously, these are the remnants
of a civilization. But where from? They’re the cubs of dragonfly creatures. They’re absolutely harmless. Besides, they’re just running by. – Anything fell off?
– Nothing so far. – Maybe, my universal glue.
– We don’t need your glue. Then I’ll take a run. – Where?
– Over there. But be quick. We must not
keep away from each other. Sure. All right, run. – Where’re you going?
– To play some soccer. – No kidding.
– He needs to. We have reached the second planet
of the Alpha-Cassiopeia system. The preliminary data on
the atmosphere have been verified. O2 – 21%, H2 – 78%, CO2 – 1%. All is within the range of the earth
standards. Wow, what a wind! We’re observing the signs
of an existing civilization, and, therefore, of thinking creatures. Though everything around
looks rather deserted, so it’s possible we’re too late. I’ve been here.
Lob. Humans? Just a minute, I’ll turn on
my thought detector. Where are you from? I’m from over there, I flew on this
in here, to you. Earth, peace, friendship. The square of the hypotenuse equals
the sum of the squares of the catheti. It can happen to anyone. Peace, friendship! Where’re you going, guys?
Where to, guys? We shouldn’t have let him go a step
away. Just wait till I catch him! What’s this?
It’s a third column already. Dying civilizations have always
created graveside monuments. But where’s Fedka? It’s just an outrage. Now we have
to waste time on searching him. We have to make a radio contact. There he is, our dear boy.
Stop fooling. Stay cool, Varvara. We seem to have an encounter. Who are you? We’re the executors.
Follow us. The controllers are waiting for you. Where’s Fedka? There’s no danger.
Your friend is already there. What’s most important is not to show
distrust. Go on with reporting inconspicuously. We’re having a close encounter
with the intelligent ones. The creatures looking like humans, their heads equipped with
numerous metal details. Their means of communication is
whistling. The human ear cannot… We’re in a small white
spherical premises… A prophylactic module. The walls are from something like
our foam rubber or asbestos. The air in the room
has no smell. What a profound silence. All is white, like in Julia’s hospital.
A trap? A trap for fools. Attention. I am ”Mainland”,
calling ”Island”. ”Island”. Guys, do you copy?
Varya, Pasha, Fedya. Varya, Pasha, Fedya. They left the capsule
five hours ago. They didn’t make contact
at the appointed time. They absolutely disappeared
from the planet’s surface. An artificial body port side. Look, it’s approaching. That’s it, boys. – Civilization.
– Too early to rejoice. What’s this?
I don’t get it. It’s a cannon.
Guys, it’s a cannon. Sure, a cannon. What do we do, Vitya? – Katya, give me a candy.
– Here. Activating the protective system. Don’t get nervous. lf necessary,
the automation will work on its own. Only who will prove stronger? We? We must not
show them our distrust. What about the cannon? That’s something absolutely different. I’ll go out
into the demonstration module. All right. Try not to take
extreme measures. Good luck. Humans. Just like us. I’ve always believed it. If there are intelligent
creatures in space, they can only
be like us. It can’t be proved. You always dispute
the obvious facts. We’re gratified
that we could have pleased you. Come to the ball. Where’re you from? From the Solar system,
from the planet Earth. Why have you come to us? You asked for help. We didn’t ask help. You did, we received
your signals. Those were not our signals. What do you mean, not yours? Not ours. We were looking for the intelligent
in the Universe. – Thinking ones.
– Live ones. Are you alive? Yes, alive.
And we’re thirsty. For this, you’re given a control
key, inserted in the niche. For you not to use
your primitive instruments, we’re switching to your speech code. – That’s something!
– All for the happiness of the alive. – Do you want to be happy?
– Sure. You bet. You will be happy. We’ll make you happy. Will make you happy. Will make you happy. Weird. – What’s weird?
– Everything’s weird. Why do they say
they didn’t ask for help? Who sent the signals then? Or were we mistaken? What does it mean,
”make us happy”? I’m already happy. You happy?
They’ll make you even happier. I don’t want
to be made happy. One must win happiness oneself. – What’s up?
– Where’s the chair? I think I did it. Give it here. A remote control system. It is our planet.
It is the Earth’s garden. The Earth feeds us, gives us water. We exist in this environment,
we move, we breathe. But it is just a tiny model
of a part of our planet. These are flowers, which
will yield delicious fruit later. We call the fruit
apples, cherries, pears. Please. Sending us on a distant journey,
people created this room, in which we could make simulations
of places that are dear to us, and they called
that room ”a surprise”. We would like to know your alphabet. There you go. A, b, c, d, e… Now we would like
to know your vocabulary. There you go. Abacus, abbot, abdomen, aberration, aborigine,
absentee, abracadabra… Hell’s bells. – They’ve assimilated it!
– Yes, assimilated. Thank you. Please, sit down. We’re happy to see our brothers
in intellect. Now we shall tell you
about our planet. This is what our planet looked
like 250 years ago. We were happy and looking for
new ways of development. Creative work was
bringing us joy. The greatest invention
of our scientists was the bio-technical
executor robot, which liberated us from
primitive working processes. Following the executor robot, the controller robot had been created, which was able to not only
manage the executors, but perfect them, too. However, the controller robots decided also to improve
us, the live ones. They believed that the achievement
of full happiness by us is impeded by
the torments of creative work, the feelings of dissatisfaction, compassion for others,
kindness and conscience. They decided to deprive us
of those qualities. We didn’t want that kind of happiness. We began to fight back. But it was too late. All you see now does not exist any more. Only pictures remained. At the final stage
of that planetary tragedy, the controller robots
resorted to an awful craftiness. They created a call – an eerie
mesmerizing combination of sounds, upon hearing which
even the strongest of us lost all willpower and
obediently went to the stations where they were turned to happy, senseless,
complacent creatures. Those absolutely happy ones lived aimlessly
through the rest of their lives, leaving
no offspring after them, for they had also been
deprived of the feeling of love. There is not a single live
creature on our planet now. How could you survive? Shortly before the catastrophe,
our scientists built and put in orbit
a space radio observatory. We’re the descendants of those
who were on that orbital station and, thus, out of reach of the robots. Our observatory
can’t leave its orbit. We are doomed to
forever orbit the planet that no longer belongs to us. For 250 years we have been
sending SOS signals, and we’re happy
that you heard us. The smell. Our three comrades
are there, on your planet. They’re going to die. If they get
the control key, we’ll try to help you
see each other. Square A-739-12 – minus. Square A-739-13 – minus,
Sergei Sergeyevich. Square A-739-14 – minus. Minus, minus, minus… We need different solutions.
We should look for something else. We’re looking, but, unfortunately,
we don’t possess the energy necessary for
covering such distances. I know it without your telling me. Excuse me for so unceremoniously
intruding on your conversation. I’d like to be useful,
for I have some resources, though, maybe, of not
quite scientific nature. Of not quite scientific nature? Not quite,
in the light of the present day. I would like to offer my
services in order to contact the ”Dawn” starship. – How?
– When? Right now.
Please. There we go. Capricorn, Cabalevsky, Centaur,
Cryuchkov, Cristalinskaya… There it is, Cassiopeia.
555-666-777. Do you happen to have any metal
object of medium size? No. – Will it do?
– Just fine. We got it. What’s this? The first contact of man
with an extraterrestrial civilization. The inhabitants of Varyana. And where are the kids?
Vitya? Vitya? Here he is,
Viktor Danilovich Sereda. Excuse me, you’ve got strong tobacco. That’s all
I can do so far. I don’t command
the feedback yet. But… I’m thinking, searching, researching, hoping. The devil knows what. Try the crimson one,
it’s something like our mango. Let’s try your mango. Cool. Well, up! – Hi.
– Hi. Up!
Here comes the mango. We expected a destroyed civilization,
and what we got is just wow! Your mango stinks.
It’s just red ink. Where do these horned
retorts come from? Can you not ask questions
at least now? Please. There’s a hole here.
Interesting. The elementary action
of a field of force. Try the yellow stuff, something
like strawberries in chocolate. ”Island”. ”Island”.
I’m ”Mainland”. I’m ”Mainland”. – Guys, do you copy?
– We copy. We copy. Pasha! Pasha! Pasha, if you have
the control key, hurry and put together the upper
yellow plate and the red one, and then we shall see each other. ”Island”! I’m ”Mainland”. I’m ”Mainland”. You’re in danger,
you’re surrounded by robots. Return to the ship
immediately. To do this, insert the key in
the niche, which must be in the room. Make a half-turn of
the key’s upper plate. After you connect
the green and red plates… You’re being deceived.
You’re in no danger. We’ll make you happy. Will make you happy. It’s all nonsense. Vitya is just
panicking, he’s jealous of us. No, he isn’t panicking. Vitya wouldn’t scare us
just for nothing. The robots. – Come on, what’s the matter?
– We must leave. – Follow me.
– Bye, robots. Danger. Danger. Varya, where’re you? Batten down.
Starting the engines. Hurry, Varvara.
Why are you standing? Maybe we’d better not fly, guys? – What?
– Are you tired of living? No, I’m not. But there’re so many mysteries here,
and we flee without solving them. If they’re really robots,
don’t you want to know why they look so much
alive, like humans? It’s antihuman.
And all the rest? Those balls, means of transportation,
and the whole civilization? We’ve encountered
what we were looking for, and now we chicken and flee. – Shall we bind her?
– I’ve got Sereda’s order. And what would Sereda have done
if he were in our place? He would have stayed. – She’s crazy.
– I’m staying! You don’t even have the control
key to be able to stay. – We are in a mess.
– Pasha, give me a gun. There’re no guns. – What do you mean?
– They stole them, bastards. – Give us the key.
– Not allowed. – We’re hungry.
– Not allowed. And what are we allowed? Nothing.
You’re prisoners now. Oh, so we’re prisoners! You’ll stay in charge now. We’ll contact you every hour, two or
three. Be very careful. My son, Agapit,
will be your guide. He’ll try to help you
find your comrades. But protect him
from the crafty call of the robots. Don’t forget, he’ll be helpless
if he hears it. Goodbye. Soon you will see
our native planet. It is a great fortune, for which you may
pay with your life. But we must do everything we can for
the people from the planet Earth who came here to help us. I hope you can carry out
your daring plan. Goodbye. Goodbye.
We’ll be waiting for you. We’re left alone, you and I.
You don’t seem to be happy about it. I’m not happy about something else.
They all flew off except me. And me. Someone had
to remain on the ship. I would have been more
useful than the others there. Why didn’t Vitya take me? Are you asking yourself or me? You. You possess a unique memory, you’re perfect
in dealing with technology. But when it comes to people, you… Come on, say it. You become insensitive. In situations that outer
space offers us, Katyusha, I doubt that one can
rely on emotions. You don’t have to choose,
you don’t know anything about feelings. – You read Tolstoy’s ”Resurrection”?
– Yes. 25th edition, page 43,
second paragraph. Read it. When Katyusha came into the room, or even when Nekhlyudov saw
her white apron from afar, everything brightened up for him
as though lit by the sun… Well, Professor Kuteishchukova, why are you not studying
your mysterious planet? Got nothing to say?
Then I’ll explain it to you. The dragonfly creatures are divided
into three types: wormlike dragonflies, anthropoid dragonflies
and dragonfly-like dragonflies. We ran across
the typical representatives of the anthropoid dragonfly creature. But you don’t know how
to fight them. They’re invincible. Varya, what are you up to? May I ask a few questions? – Not allowed.
– Ask them. How much is 9 x 7? lt’s elementary. 63. The square of the hypotenuse? The square of the hypotenuse equals
the sum of the squares of the catheti. They know everything. One more question. A and B sat on a tree. A fell down, B disappeared.
What remained on the tree? Oh, Jesus! Burned out. Pasha, take the key from them, quick.
And let’s run. Dead. Burned out. I was wrong. They’re not dragonfly
creatures. They are robots. Yes, they are robots.
What, Pasha? They got no key. Dead, too. And no communication with ship. Agapit, we’re in a hurry. Agapit, we’re in a hurry. They’ve been here. I’ve been here. Lob.
Fedka. They were trying to make contact. Agapit, what’s this pillar? It’s a lift pillar. The means of moving over the planet. Astride? Sorry, l was kidding.
Can we get to them? Yes. But where are they? Think, Agapit. – Here they are.
– You’re alive! Vitya!
Vitya dear! Let’s get out of here. – Who is he?
– Agapit. – You’ve done them in.
– It was Varya. The executor robots are invincible. The live from the planet Earth,
we’re happy to greet all of you. Now you’ll be sent to
the making-happy station, and in two hours of Earth time you’ll be absolutely happy, happy, happy. These are the controller robots. Commander, we must hurry. Come on, Kuteishchikova,
Lobanov, Kozelkov. – This way?
– No, that way. Wait, this is the call of the robots. Agapit, stop. This is the call of
the robots. It will be your end. Don’t stop me. I must go.
They call me. We have to split! Is he nuts or what? That’s what I call strong! He’s disappeared. We must rescue Agapit. If only I knew how. Follow him
and you will be happy. The executors will show you the way.
Follow them. We’ll make you happy. Will make you happy. Will make you happy. This way, there’s nobody here. Come back, and you’ll be happy. Will be happy. Come back, and you will be… – Good work!
– Way to go! We must find out how the robots
operate and how to fight them. – We can’t do it without Agapit.
– Where did they hide him? We must find Agapit,
or we’ll never get out of here. – Let’s disguise ourselves as robots.
– How? We have a weapon – A and B. – It won’t help.
– It will. Where’re you going? Let him try.
Only be quick. It’s not my head.
The mechanic mixed them up again. No, it’s not mine. This is mine. And this is mine. – Shall we swap?
– Let’s swap. It’s taut. Taut?
Then it’s mine for sure. I’m asking a question. Just a minute. Ask it. A and B sat on a tree. A fell down, B
disappeared. What remained on the tree? What are you doing? You can
strangle me. Be patient. – Well?
– Real robots. Take a look at yourself. What a picture! – Keep it, you may need it.
– Thanks. – Well, shall we go?
– Yes. If we’re not back in 30 minutes,
make your way to the capsule. If there’s any danger,
get back to the ship. We’ll wait for you. This is my order. – Pasha, that’s their charger.
– Right. Where do they get energy from? Why are you so slow?
C’mon, get charged. Yesterday, the 376th was late –
and that’s it. Shut him down. You nerd.
The yellow one only on Mondays. If somebody sees, you’ll be in a lot
of trouble. The blue! Don’t touch
the blue one, or you’ll burn. I don’t seem to like you, guys. Looks like something’s wrong
with the memory block. – Just kidding.
– Kidding. What have you done with the live one? Waiting to get happy
on 507th floor. The key’s code is black-and-white. Why don’t they sound the third
ring? I’m starving. Now to the lift pillar. Wow, it feels good! Ah, it feels good. Oh, it feels so good! Oh, it feels so good! Oh, it feels so good! Seventy-one parsecs, and no dragonfly
creatures. Agapit is absolutely like a human.
He got arms, legs and a head. Will the guys find him or not?
What do you think, girls? Sleeping. Of course, they haven’t slept
for 28 hours. I’m a man, and even I…
Feel like sleeping. Girls. What about
following this smoke? It will lead us to
where those villains are hiding Agapit. Let’s pretend that this music
of theirs has affected us. Why not, girls?
Not a bad idea, huh? Will Vitya guess it?
No, he won’t. What shall we do? They’re sleeping. Sleeping. – Hi.
– Hi. What? – Where’re you going?
– You’ve scared me, the devils. Where’re the girls? They’re sleeping there.
What about you? The executors are not allowed there
if the controllers are present. – What do we do?
– We’re thinking about that, too. Get Agapit out,
we’ll wait here. The way you got me out during
the exam, just to get a crib. Got you. I’m off. We’re glad to see you.
Take a seat where you like. Soon you’ll be
absolutely happy. I came for you. Have you forgotten why you descended
on the planet of your ancestors? Oh, it’s you.
Good. Your nerves are no good if this music
affects you so much. I can’t do anything with myself. – Now we’ll get up and go out.
– What for? You idiot, people are going
to die because of you. We’ll get up now and go out. How?
It’s impossible. Possible. Just keep mum
and do as l do. Get up. Oh, I’ve got cramps!
Oh, I’ve got cramps! Not allowed, only the happy
ones go out of here. You’re forgetting that we’re
alive, and we need to. A defect of the construction? Wrong food. Go.
Executors, show them out. Where do the robots get energy? From a charger station
at the ocean coast. – How shall we find the station?
– I’ll show you. All right, this way. Now, let’s get the girls,
and up there, to the capsule. – And in it, to the charger station.
– Careful. Are they alive? Yes, alive, just sleeping.
Move over. – What do you mean?
– We can’t abandon the girls. What about Agapit? The charger station? We can’t rescue the girls now,
they’re sleeping. I’ll stay. They’ll wake up
and we’ll try to run away. We got only
90 minutes. Switch the thought detector
to the outer connection. – Agapit, to the capsule.
– Our only hope is the capsule. And our A and B. We have to find the lift pillar.
It must be somewhere here. There it is. Take off the costumes,
the masquerade is over. Activating the liquidation of
a disposition to compassion, a bent for being conscientious,
appendicitis, a feeling of dissatisfaction with
oneself, a disposition to kindness, a disposition to love,
a disposition to work, a disposition to daring. Why are you standing here? We can’t get out,
something’s holding us. Where’s the second one? He needs to be there for a while. An individual
defect of the design? Obviously. Take your seat. Varya, give them our A and B. – May l ask you a question?
– Ask it. A and B sat on a tree. A fell down, B
disappeared. What remained on the tree? Your letter that stands for ‘and’
remained. In 30 minutes Earth time, you will no longer
care about any questions. Look straight ahead. Agapit, we’ve never been here. Where’s our capsule? This is the ocean.
But it’s a different place. Apparently, I mixed up
the combination of plates. I was still under the spell
of the call of the robots. What do we do? The lullaby. My mother used to sing it. – What are you doing?
– I’m the nurse robot. I’ve got an outdated design. The caring block
has not been removed. And I’ve been rocking
this cradle for 200 years. Only two of us
defective are left, the 739th and me. I saw such a machine on pictures. It is supposed to move. I’ve been waiting for you for
200 years. I’m the mechanic robot! The machine is in full order!
Push the button! Get in. – Hurry, Agapit.
– Don’t interfere. The color gamut of the charger station
consists of three combinations. Up from the bottom –
yellow, green, blue, red. Yellow, green. The machine will deliver you
to your destination. Why doesn’t it move? Movement is the white plate.
Help me close it. Vitya, we blew it. A and B isn’t
working on the controllers. The girls are being prepared
for making them happy. I’ll be the next.
If you don’t help, it’s the end of us. You helped the live ones. You’ll be dismantled. Robots – biological,
biochemical, mechanical. Robots – silicic,
electrostatic. No, it’s not that. The way of destruction –
energy blockade. That’s it. Varya, I’m scared. I’m scared. Won’t the boys
be able to save us? Danger of first degree.
The live ones are threatening. Everything that can burn,
must be burned. There is the charger station! Where are you? Misha, I got two minutes. We’re in extreme danger.
Communication with the ship is blocked. The only possible contact
is through the controllers’ ball. The fight with these robots was
described by Bodyagin. You’ve read it. You have to remember the page
on which it was written. Misha, you’re thinking too long. By the system of long-distance
communication, the commodore ordered all the working robots
to remove their earphones. Carrying out the command,
they removed the earphones and, no longer hearing the orders,
had quitted the awful game. ”Aha,” cried the commodore,
”now we’ll get to the principal ones…” Fedya, watch out! So you’re stuck? Girls, three have already stuck! You damned dragonflies,
we’ll get you all! Where are you dragging me? Commander, come here! Here’s
the entrance to the charger station. Hold on. We’re in a trap. I don’t know
the password. They’ll destroy us! Down! – Let’s run.
– Get down! That’s some mirror! Come here! Vitya, we put our hopes only on you. I’ve glued up three controllers,
but it’s useless. If you don’t help, we’re goners. In a few minutes
the girls will die. Hurry up, Vitya. Varya, think of something else! All executors
report immediately to 1001st floor
of the charger station. Destroy the live ones. Everybody entered here
only in spacesuits. One can stay here only
for a little while. Everything’s so simple and elementary. And incomprehensible. We need a signal for recharging. – Are these the inscriptions?
– Yes. Outer complex.
lnner complex. Hurry, Agapit. – Industrial complex.
– No, not that. Transportation. Field of force,
amplification, reduction. Signal of recharging. Energy of executors.
Energy of controllers. The key code –
yellow-green-blue. Doesn’t it remind you
of a nuclear reactor? Pulling the rod out
increases the energy. Yes, it does remind me! We’ll disable all of them
to bloody hell! Charging for 2 minutes, then
the energy cuts off automatically. The protective blocking
prevents the robots from burning out. How to switch it off? I don’t know. How? How? The key couldn’t stand it,
it evaporated. lf only we could… We need a metal rod,
a steel one! A nail! Come on! Run! You’re saved.
All but us burned out. They were preparing us for
shutting down and temporarily replaced
the charging block with a battery. We’re defective.
We’re your friends. You’re home now. We’re happy for you.
Protect your planet. We won’t be as carefree
as our ancestors had been. And the robots will be
our good helpers, right? Your hair began to grow,
you’re a big boy now. We are your friends. Lay off, l’ve heard it already. – We are your friends.
– I got you. Got you. – We are defective.
– Tell it somebody else. – We are to be preserved.
– I got a headache from you. We are defective. Will you ever leave me alone?! Thanks. Who wrote this? Well, suppose… 1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6… 13. You’re making progress, dear
Yekaterina Sergeyevna. – How did you get here?
– The call of duty. – How did you survive?
– The call of duty. – What did you fly in?
– The call of duty. Is it really you? By the call of duty, it’s me. Top secret Isn’t it time to get back
to the Earth, friends? Right, isn’t it time to go back
to the Earth? The End